acrossthemiles1 Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 Just curious...for those in committed relationships, how long did it take for the first "I love you" to be exchanged? Totally random question, just - like I said - I'm curious.
Jazzari Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 I'm 5 months in and no "I love you" yet. But it's getting harder and harder not to say it. I feel it, but I want him to say it first. And I think he would also prefer it that way.
Author acrossthemiles1 Posted May 19, 2011 Author Posted May 19, 2011 Yikes. Yeah, I'm not really sure how long to expect - we've only been together a month...I feel like I'm saying it in my head already, but saying it out loud would be somehow disingenuous. Then again I do tend to fall for guys quickly...
Jazzari Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 Yikes. Yeah, I'm not really sure how long to expect - we've only been together a month...I feel like I'm saying it in my head already, but saying it out loud would be somehow disingenuous. Then again I do tend to fall for guys quickly...I hear you. I tend to know what I want and fall hard quickly too. The guy I am with is more cautious. I'm ok with that because I think he's moving in that direction and when he does say it, I will know he REALLY means it. He's been dancing around it lately, so hopefully SOON! Oh - I'm in an LDR so we don't see each other as often as most. So I don't think the 5+ months really equates to the same time frame as a normal relationship. At least, that's what I tell myself.
Universe Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 Say it when you know you plan to follow through with it and when you know it will not harm you or him to do so. So if you're afraid it might scare him off, then wait. If you have any doubts about the relationship in general, then wait. It's just a word - but it's a word that can cause a lot of damage (though I think you're probably pretty safe either way in your case right now.) So just say I love you with your actions for now. Show him you love him. Try to understand what he needs and then try to provide that for him. And consider the effects that your actions will have on him and don't do things that will effect him negatively. But stay true to yourself and love yourself in the process. On the flipside - if it's just tearing you up to keep it inside to the point that it's having a negative effect on you, and it won't harm him in any way, then you owe it to yourself to say it. But don't take it personally if he's not ready to say it back. He might just not be feeling ready yet. It doesn't mean that he won't. You're actions are what count the most. It took me about 6-8 months to say it to my girlfriend. She responded by saying that she didn't like using those words, but that the feeling was mutual. That was all I needed. Eventually we started saying it to each other all the time. We've been together for 12 happy years now. Good luck.
Cee Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 I said it first after 3 months. We had been dancing around it and finally I said it. I was surprised how happy he looked and immediately said it back. I guess he had been holding back, too. We don't exchange, "I love yous" all the time though. We might spend the weekend together and say it once or twice. We've been dating 4 months and I don't feel like I need to say it a lot. I like to reserve it for tender moments. He'll spring an "I love you" at an unexpected moment. And then I'm like, "What?"
denise_xo Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 I don't remember exactly, but I say it pretty fast. Probably too fast. But I tend to fall flat on my face when I like someone and then I can't hold back :laugh:
Star Gazer Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 IME, those three words are typically exchanged around the 3-5 month mark.
tigressA Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 In my current relationship we both said it less than a month in; how it started was more of an accident than anything else but we just went with it, figuring we had just been holding back and there was a mutual slip of the tongue.
OliveOyl Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 He said something like "I think I'm falling" or "I think I'm falling in love" but it was kind of mumbled so I didn't hear it clearly. Biting my tongue not to say it too early. Been less than 2 months.
heartbrokengrl Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 It's been almost 5 months here and still no "i love you" but I'm waiting for him to say it first. He's been hurt in a 8 year relationship before me so I know he wants to make sure, and he once told me "love has to be earned" so who knows when that is haha but then again, he may never say it....
Darren Taylor Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 It's been almost 5 months here and still no "i love you" but I'm waiting for him to say it first. He's been hurt in a 8 year relationship before me so I know he wants to make sure, and he once told me "love has to be earned" so who knows when that is haha but then again, he may never say it.... Don't play games. If you mean it, say it. And considering his past, he may not say it until you do.
HappyPanda Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 My guy and I have been dating a little over a year. He said it around month 9... I returned around month 11. ... I guess we're late bloomers?
Eternal Sunshine Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 What is dancing around it? My bf has been saying a lot of romantic stuff lately. Constant "I like you so much" and "You are so amazing/wonderful" and "I love spending time with you", texting me pictures of hearts and sending me songs that remind him of me (last was "Take my breath away" by Berlin). So yeah, I feel like he is dancing around it but maybe I am delusional. We are 3 months in.
thehead Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 My bf... We are 3 months in. :lmao: I called it! Da*n thread deletion
Eternal Sunshine Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 :lmao: I called it! Da*n thread deletion We got back together the next morning....that thread was still genuine and represents exactly what happened on the night of Friday the 13th.
Eeyore79 Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 I told my bf I loved him after 2-3 months. I figured if I had feelings for him I was better off voicing them, because if he didn't care about me or was going to be scared off by me caring about him then I'd rather know sooner than later, and if he reciprocated it would relieve my tension and worry. He reciprocated
Confusedalways Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 I was bursting, and he said it around the 2 month mark (actually a little before, on my birthday) I knew and felt it about a month in, and he said he felt it even sooner.
Feelsgoodman Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 I'm 5 months in and no "I love you" yet. But it's getting harder and harder not to say it. I feel it, but I want him to say it first. And I think he would also prefer it that way. The conventional wisdom is that the woman is supposed to say it first (just like the man is supposed to ask the woman out first). Not saying there is anything wrong with the pattern being reversed, but I think that your theory about him preferring to say it first may be incorrect.
SxB Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 Just curious...for those in committed relationships, how long did it take for the first "I love you" to be exchanged? Totally random question, just - like I said - I'm curious. You say it once you feel you have gotten to know them and you can see a future with them, and your actions have already spoken how you feel.
Star Gazer Posted May 21, 2011 Posted May 21, 2011 :lmao: I called it! Da*n thread deletion I called it too. She had the thread deleted, and the next day said "my current BF." What a crock.
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