emelle Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 I started going to LS after I stumbled upon it a few months ago, like everyone else, looking for answers and advice to heal themselves. And like everyone else, I thought that I would never find myself writing in of these sites as well. But I’ve hit a low place in my life right now, and I thought why not. I know this is long, but I’ve put my history into chronological order to make it easier for those of you patient enough to read through this. • Met freshmen year of college, and are in the same group of friends We were really great friends at first before dating. We told each other that we both weren’t looking for a relationship but our connection was so intense that we decided to give it a try. • We dated for about 7 months. He told me he loved me and I felt the same, But during the last month got into petty arguments, I was being insecure and he has a jealousy issue, and he eventually broke up with me. (We’ve only had a few relationships before each other, and none of them serious. So for the both of us, this was the most serious we’ve been with someone and also for the most part, were pretty much firsts everything. • Even though we were broken up, we never really finished breaking up with each other. We continued hanging out and sleeping with each other throughout the past 4 years, and we weren’t seeing anyone else. Basically we were in a relationship without the title. The last year of college I told him to let me know if he wanted to hook up with or see other people, because then I would let him go. He lied to me and I have out from someone else a few months later. • From then and now, we’ve been in situations were he would tell me that he wanted to work things out with me and that he would fight for us, but days or weeks later he would take back his words. • According to him, hes confused right now, be he knews he loves me and that he sees himself marrying me in the future, but right now hes just not ready for a serious relationship and that he doesn’t want to stay with me and end up hurting me more later on. He feels like he didn’t really get to experience the college life and just wants to experience the world without being tied down to anything (I respect his decision and his honesty about this), but we’ve seeing each other recently and have gone back to the way things were. (I know part of this is my fault because I keep saying yes and letting him back into my life without any effort) • A few days ago, I asked him what his intentions were, because his actions were giving me the wrong signals, and all he said was that he thought he had made it clear to me that he didn’t want a serious relationship right now. ( I guess I knew deep down inside I understood too, but I was hoping somewhere that it would be different). I told him that I loved him and that I understand where he’s coming from, that by doing this I’m giving him the freedom that he’s been yearning for and as for me, it’ll give me some peace of mind and that my numberis changing in june (because im getting a new phone) and that I appreciate It if he didn’t ask our mutual friends for my number. He said okay if that’s what I want. • He was never a bad guy, he had his faults but so did I. Its just that circumstances for the both of us arent really helping with us right now. • Both of us are 23 and are working at our first jobs. I know this was the right decision, I guess I just want someone to tell me that I made the right choice. To give me any kind of feedback on how can I become the best version of myself, and just how to ease the pain, and especially someone to give me a big dose of reality to hit me on my head. Thanks so much.
rebeccajones Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 You are doing the right thing. Think about what you are actually getting out of the relationship. Also try to see reality, he seems to want something casual, no commitment. Do you want that? See him for who he really is and decide if you want to go on with him as is.
westernxer Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 At least you can say your relationship is permanently off. Now you can move on.
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