suckerforher Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 My daughters mom and I were VERY young when we first got together, in our mid teens. I was 17 at the time and broke up with her because I was too young and didnt want to be tied down, thats when we found out she was pregnant. So, we decided to get back together and have a family. We stayed together throughout her pregnancy and up untill my daughter was 2. She left me one day because she found a letter I had written to a friend saying I wasnt in love with her anymore, and I was just with her because our daughter. Within a month later, she started seeing someone, and has been seeing him on and off for the last 4 years. While me on the other hand, I have gone through 4 different relationships since then. After my first couple break ups, I went back to her, asking for my family back, and she wanted nothing to do with me. I can only assume that I was just weak, and having her and my daughter again would make it easier. Its gotten to the point were we actually get along very well, and can spend time together, and as a family, without any problems or emotions. I do get along with this guy and hes good to my daughter, so I respect him for that, and she has befriended some of my exes as well. Every now and then, weather Im single or in a relationship, I think about being with her, I think about how good we were together, and how perfect she truly is for me, but the fact that I was so young when we were together, I did a lot of things that hurt her, and understanbly would make her hate me. When I look back at the problems we had in our relationship, it all stems back to my own personal problems, and yes, it was actually all my fault. Over the last 4 years we have had our good times, and our bad. We can go months without arguing or fighting over anything, we meet up, drop off or pick up our daughter, have a good convo, then leave. It is actually very rare for us to get into an argument, and everytime we have, it has always again, been my fault. It has taken me 4 years to rid myself of my problems, and I have truly changed as a person, as a father, and as a bf. About 6 months ago, I broke up with my most serious gfs of the 4 Ive had over the last 4 years. At about the same time, my daughters mom was trying to get rid of her bf as well, but hes difficult, so she didnt have much luck, untill he finally got arrested, and is looking at a hefty prison term. I feel as if I can go months on top of months without thinking about us being together, but eventually, I start thinking about it. And everytime I see her, I mean, everytime. I feel like I just want to grab her and hold her and tell her I love her. Of course, I shove the feelings down, have a good long convo with her since thats what we do, and go our seperate ways. Just a couple of weeks ago, I had this really intense dream about us being together, so the next day, thats all I could think about. Then, a day later, her grandparents were planning on coming into town to see our daughter (during the weekend, which is my time) so she suggested that I could come up, and stay the night at her place, then spend time with kailey, and her grandparents, then take her after they leave. The timing is what seemed the most odd, after my dream, cause her saying I can stay the night isnt that weird for us, since over the last 4 years, she has been kicked out of where she was living, and I let her move in with me and my gf...twice. So us sleeping in the same house while being seperated in not a big deal to us. When I hung out with her grandparents and my daughter, they looked so happy, and I have a feeling, its because they might have thought me and my daughters mom were getting back together, and Im a much better person and man then her ex. Nothing came of it, and we went our seperate ways. Then for mothers day, I decided to take her and my daughter out for dinner, were we of course, had a good time together but nothing weird. That night I was hanging out at their house cause my daughter wanted me to stay. My daughters mom had gone to bed, but I wanted to talk to her, and would have felt akward just knocking on her door or walking into her room. So I text her, and asked her if she ever thinks about us. She said "not really, we had an unhealthy relationship" and that was it. But I know why, she was frikin 15 when she got pregnant, and I was 17, we hadnt experienced anything yet, and I wanted to experiment A LOT more. Ive done that, Ive gotten everything out of my system over the last 4 years. Im now sober, becoming a better parent, friend, and bf. Ive changed every negative thing that had a bad influence in our relationship. I no longer cheat, I no longer lie, I no longer drink, I no longer want casual sex, and Im focusing as much time as I can on being a good father. Yet, all I can do, is think about my daughters mom, and how perfect for me she truly is, and how much I miss her, and love her. HOW, if its even possible, can I get her back? Has it been too long? Should I just get over her? Im lost, and confused, and I know in my heart that if we got back together, I could make her SO happy, and we can have the family we always wanted. I just dont know how to go about it.PLEASE, somebody help..
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