should i contact my ex

[jacksonBrown]

my ex and i broke up about 3 weeks ago after 3 years together i would like to get her back, she has told me no she just cant do it anymore and wants to stay friends she also said it will be hard and that she loves me and will miss me but its for the best we break up. since the break up i have tried to get her back and she is sticking to her guns but keeps telling me she still wants to be friends, once i finally accepted it i started chatting with another girl on facebook and i invited her to a party. well my ex must have red it and she deleted me immediatly. now i feel like a fool for chatting with other girls when my ex will clearly read it. should i contact my ex about her deleting me or just GO NC ? wat do think she is thinking anger or jelousy i'm not sure if i should contact or just let it go for good.

 

any opinions welcome

[Kodo]

Let's look at this bit by bit.

 

my ex and i broke up about 3 weeks ago after 3 years together i would like to get her back,

 

Sorry to hear that. I'm in your shoes too. If you feel you still want her back after 3 weeks I think that's a sign you really loved her, so good on you for doing so for 3 years.

 

she has told me no she just cant do it anymore and wants to stay friends she also said it will be hard and that she loves me and will miss me but its for the best we break up.

 

**** I hate that statement (what she said and others say). What she meant was "it's best for her". Because you obviously don't want to be broken up.

 

So she broke it off because she's not enjoying it. Simple as that. paint any ****ing colours on it you want.

 

since the break up i have tried to get her back and she is sticking to her guns but keeps telling me she still wants to be friends,

 

And this is why I say you should not contact her. As you can see it hasn't worked in the past. Give her some space. IF IF IF IF IF there is a chance for things to work, you need to give her space anyway. But don't do it just for that reason. Do it because she asked. Respect her wishes as a human, not as an ex.

 

once i finally accepted it i started chatting with another girl on facebook and i invited her to a party. well my ex must have red it and she deleted me immediatly. now i feel like a fool for chatting with other girls when my ex will clearly read it. should i contact my ex about her deleting me or just GO NC ? wat do think she is thinking anger or jelousy i'm not sure if i should contact or just let it go for good.

 

And so you should and good on you for talking with another girl. She made you available to other girls and you obviously like the company. Go for it.

 

if she blocks you from seeing that it's her own issues. She's probably punishing herself, jealous, feeling like she's made a mistake or she might just be downright pissed off that you have started moving forward (as you should).

 

It could be any of the above and we'll never know. We don't need to know. What we know is that you've started moving forward. Keep doing it. The ball is in your court now thanks to your efforts to look after yourself. Don't drop the ball.

[jacksonBrown]

thankyou for the reply and i will take your advice and give her space and Not contact her it does feel good to move forward and chat with other girls but at the same time i'm not quite ready to let go of our 3 year relationship and i do still love this girl alot,

[Kodo]

thankyou for the reply and i will take your advice and give her space and Not contact her it does feel good to move forward and chat with other girls but at the same time i'm not quite ready to let go of our 3 year relationship and i do still love this girl alot,

 

By moving forward that doesn't mean you've given up. You've just realised that some things are out of your control. You do still love her and even if you were to go out and date other girls, sleep with other girls or change your sexual orientation altogether, you'll still love her. So you're not going to lose that love.

 

But at the moment that love itself isn't enough. And if she does get bitchy over you moving forward you just have to ignore it. You owe her NOTHING. She is not with you.

 

There was a brilliant analogy posted not long ago. About how as children we'd kick and scream and roll around for a toy at a ship, but no matter how much we pleaded or begged it was never going to happen. Just because you cut your losses and walk away doesn't mean you no longer like that toy.

 

Keep moving. And if she comes catching up behind you, then ask if you should contact her. But until then, just keep moving forward. Even when it feels like you're walking on the spot.

[jacksonBrown]

dude your full of good advice i just hope i can take it onboard and follow it. since she deleted me on facebook i feel compelled to write her a quick MSG on facebook saying

 

"your right its probably best we're not friends on here, its hard for both of us, but i do still care for you"

 

or should i just suck it up and keep moving forward without contacting her

i'm not sure,

 

need advice. i dont want her to hate me

 

thanks

[marqueemoon4]

dude your full of good advice i just hope i can take it onboard and follow it. since she deleted me on facebook i feel compelled to write her a quick MSG on facebook saying

 

"your right its probably best we're not friends on here, its hard for both of us, but i do still care for you"

 

or should i just suck it up and keep moving forward without contacting her

i'm not sure,

 

need advice. i dont want her to hate me

 

thanks

 

it seems logical to send her a note, but it'll make things worse. just go NC, focus on yourself and move forward.

[Kodo]

"your right its probably best we're not friends on here, its hard for both of us, but i do still care for you"

 

As kind as those words are, she might not see it like that. She could think it's harder for her because she is feeling guilty over the break up, she might be thinking heaps of things.

 

But she knows you care for her. It sounds like you've told her several times and made it clear that you'll accept the break up, but you don't want it.

 

or should i just suck it up and keep moving forward without contacting her

i'm not sure,

 

need advice. i dont want her to hate me

 

thanks

 

She doesn't "hate" you. At the moment she is probably careless. And if she is being immature and hating you for moving on, that's her own fault for releasing you and making you a single man. Now SHE needs to think about the next move.

 

But try not to ponder all this. You could get the wrong ideas. You could make mistakes based on assumption. You could give yourself false hope. There are just too many unknown variables to come up with something concrete.

 

Just work with what you know. Right now you know you have the opportunity to continue living your life. Do that. You know that's a good choice because you're alive. You also know that she's blocked you on Facebook. Just take it as that. She's deleted you. Don't worry about why.

[jacksonBrown]

As kind as those words are, she might not see it like that. She could think it's harder for her because she is feeling guilty over the break up, she might be thinking heaps of things.

 

But she knows you care for her. It sounds like you've told her several times and made it clear that you'll accept the break up, but you don't want it.

 

 

 

She doesn't "hate" you. At the moment she is probably careless. And if she is being immature and hating you for moving on, that's her own fault for releasing you and making you a single man. Now SHE needs to think about the next move.

 

But try not to ponder all this. You could get the wrong ideas. You could make mistakes based on assumption. You could give yourself false hope. There are just too many unknown variables to come up with something concrete.

 

Just work with what you know. Right now you know you have the opportunity to continue living your life. Do that. You know that's a good choice because you're alive. You also know that she's blocked you on Facebook. Just take it as that. She's deleted you. Don't worry about why.

 

thankyou my friend very wise words

i feel better about this situation already i'm not goin to contact anymore im just gonna keep doin me

wateva happens happens but not gonna think about it too much anymore.

 

thanks again

[Kodo]

thankyou my friend very wise words

i feel better about this situation already i'm not goin to contact anymore im just gonna keep doin me

wateva happens happens but not gonna think about it too much anymore.

 

thanks again

 

All the best with it. And if you find yourself tempted, think of it like this. If you kept messaging the new girl too often, you could see her getting pushed away right?

 

Same deal here.

[jacksonBrown]

I havnt let this relationship go I'm still secretly hoping she calls me

I know I need too 100% let this one go, it's the only way to completely move

On and get ova her, she said to me too that we may be together later in life so she obviously needs a good long break and has no intention of getting back together anytime soon, who knows wat will happen in the future, thanks again 4 the support,