anwa Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 So, as the title says, I've been asked by an ex boyfriend (whom I dumped) to be in a NSA, FWB type relationship. Thing is I don't want to get into a relationship with him again which makes me think I could actually follow through with this.... But he's always been in love with me and I'm afraid of him falling for me again and it getting all ugly. We both don't need drama of any kind. So, what should I do? Both of us need to get laid lol and both of us want cuddling, etc which always leads to sex so.. it might be okay? But the thing about him being in love with me makes me anxious.
USCGAviator Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 Make sure you both are clear on the boundaries with this. Give it a shot and if it doesn't go the way you planned, find a plan B.
utterer of lies Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 So, as the title says, I've been asked by an ex boyfriend (whom I dumped) to be in a NSA, FWB type relationship. Thing is I don't want to get into a relationship with him again which makes me think I could actually follow through with this.... But he's always been in love with me and I'm afraid of him falling for me again and it getting all ugly. We both don't need drama of any kind. So, what should I do? Both of us need to get laid lol and both of us want cuddling, etc which always leads to sex so.. it might be okay? But the thing about him being in love with me makes me anxious. Do it, even if it's a mistake. I think some mistakes you just have to make to enjoy life.
Leigh 87 Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 it definitely will not be a detached FWB relationship. Especially since HE still loves U. IF ur having sex and u have once been in love, MOST people wil not be able to stop past feelings from making the FWB messy; what f one of u gets another person? Ahh but wait on.. neithr of u would want each other to get some one else, which is basically like a relationship?
Flgirl44 Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 Ya, if the genders were reversed everyone would be down the guys throat like he is taking advantage of the girl. I think you having sex with him knowing he has feelings for you still and will likely take whatever you throw his way is kind of cruel. Maybe you can do the FWB once you guys have actually tried and been unsuccessful at finding other people, but what you are doing is pure laziness. Lazy attempt at breaking up, lazy attempt at actually moving on.
Ruby Slippers Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 Bad idea. One or both of you will get attached again, and get hurt. You dumped him for a reason, and that was recent, yes? Heal and move on. A second chance could be a possibility someday, but probably not so soon.
lenny Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 For years I had this type of relationship with an ex and it worked quite well. We both loved each other dearly but the dating thing between us just never worked out. The sex was good and we were still good friends however so if the both of us were single we would slip into a NSA situation. It was kind of an exclusive thing so no worries about STDs or anything. We would meet up about once a week for some snuggles and loving and if either of us met someone, it just stopped. I had thought this was the perfect situation. Turns out not really. There was just too much of a tie between the two of us so when I entered into my current fantastic LTR it started causing some issues - not with either of us getting jealous or anything, I was having issues committing fully with my new guy when I had this back-up plan available. I had to cut all contact with the ex because of these issues. I've had other NSA relationships that worked very well and I think the difference is we weren't good friends and there was zero emotional attachment. We were pretty indifferent to each other actually.
vivstah Posted May 21, 2011 Posted May 21, 2011 this has bad news written all over it. I agree with our lady is watching in that you're probably not as over him as you think/say you are. FWB pretty much never works with someone you've loved. quite frankly i think you would be messing with both of your minds and ending up wishing you just stayed "normal" friends. find someone else=]
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