HisDudeness Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 So hi everyone, I started working at this huge store, it's just a temporary job to save some money before I start for myself. Arround the same time I started this other girl started working there too(a temporary job for her too). Now at first I didn't notice her that much, I was there to work and that was it, but after a few weeks and a couple of lunch breaks together I started feeling something for her. It feels as if I have known her since we were little kids.(we have some awkward silences though, that's how i precieve it anyway) This feeling for her has been growing and growing and I really like her. But I suck at this whole thing. I don't know what to do now, we have this work party coming up, were going to go bowling with our department's team (about 15 people)..And I don't know how should I behave to make her like me I guess? I'm really lost here... and the other thing is that since i'm not that good with this whole situation abpit how I should handle my feelings for her, do I just tell her I like her? or do I build it up and ask her to do something fun after work? now I've read everything on things about co-worker relationships, And I really don't mind having to quit, since it is a temporary job and I could get another one very easily. PS: at first I thaught she liked me too, She was really touchy arround me, touching my arm, standing really close, and I mean really close to me, putting her arm arround me, now I know that doesn't have to mean anything but I havent seen her do it to the other guys at the department.
Author HisDudeness Posted May 19, 2011 Author Posted May 19, 2011 How do I go about that? Like I said I really am a total idiot when it comes to these things and I don't want to mess it up because I said something wrong... And what about the bowling thing with the department? any tips on that?
llostboy Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 Dudeness make sure you're on her team and keep talking with her until you find something you two have in comon. Then ask her out.
DufenSchmertz Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 I don't know what to do now, we have this work party coming up, were going to go bowling with our department's team (about 15 people)..And I don't know how should I behave to make her like me I guess? I'm really lost here... Ignore her. Act like the biggest macho @hole on the team. If there are some actual macho @holes on the team, good-naturedly mock them relentlessly and make fun of them. Treat her like your personal servant if the opportunity presents, for example: "Mary (or whatever her name is), go to the bar and get me a beer." Don't say please. Just tell her to go do it. If she reacts negatively or uppity to this command, just laugh at her. Note: It would greatly help if you are somewhat athletic and can actually bowl half way decently. If not, well, you'll just have to do your best. If you suck at bowling, then you need to secretly practice as much as you can prior to the company match. Do NOT tell anyone that you are practicing! You don't want the word to get back to her. If you get to a somewhat decent level and she asks you how you got so good, you say "Just skill I guess. I never practice this stuff." and the other thing is that since i'm not that good with this whole situation abpit how I should handle my feelings for her, do I just tell her I like her? No no no no nO NO NO NO ! Do NOT tell her that you like her! There is no bigger of a turn off to a girl in your scenario than you telling her you have a crush on her or like her. That's too "easy" and chicks aren't attracted by "easy" men. They want a mystery, a challenge. Actually the best way to get her to like you, is to try to flirt with other girls where you work, so your target can see it (without obviously rubbing her face in it) or at least so word can get around you're a lady's man. All women want a man that is desired by other women, it's their competitive nature. or do I build it up and ask her to do something fun after work? No you don't ask her to "do something fun after work." You PLAN on going out to a bar and having a good time with or without her. Then at the end of the day you casually run into her and say "I'm going to such and such a place for a couple of drinks and maybe get something to eat. I'd like you to join me." If she says yes, great. (Of course you probably will have no clue what to do with her if she actually said "yes," would you?) If she says no, you go out and do just what you said you would, go to that place, get a couple of drinks, maybe have something to eat, and try to hit on some hot chicks and get laid.
DufenSchmertz Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 Dudeness make sure you're on her team and keep talking with her until you find something you two have in comon. Then ask her out. Since she probably sucks at bowling, you need to tease her about how bad of a bowler she is (even if she's good). Poke gentle fun at her in a good natured way (this is called "negging.") Do NOT compliment her on her bowling skills or physical appearance. Do NOT tell her how much you "like her." DO try to flirt with and hit on any other attractive women who are at the bowling lanes, whether they are with your company or not. Like I said before, tell her to get you a beer, it doesn't matter what her reaction is, be good natured about it. Don't "ask her out," every bowling alley has a bar, you're right there. Tell her "I'm getting a drink, c'mon and join me." If she does, great, if not, go get your drink and flirt with whatever other girls are around. In fact you don't really need to flirt with anyone, just talk to other women. If they seem to like you so much the better. It sounds like you've got "oneitis" which you need to get rid of quick. There might be other women at your job or at the bowling alley who are more receptive than this chick, don't invest all your emotions on a daydream. If this girl is not interested enough in you to join you for a one on one adult beverage at the bowling alley bar, it will be a pointless waste of time for you to ask her out on a "real date." If she likes you she will certainly be willing to have a drink with you right there at the bowling alley and talk with you. If she does, try and get her to go home with you (or you go to her place) that evening. Don't be crude, but if you've had a couple of drinks, and she seems friendly, just say: "Hey I've had enough bowling for tonight. Let's get out of here." If she says no, she wants to keep bowling, tell her "fine, but I am leaving. I am going to a different club for a while but why don't you stop by my place when you are done with your little bowling game?" Then split, go to whatever other club, and try to meet some other woman and get laid.
Dust Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 Just telling a girl you like her is kind of lame. It means you are putting her in a position to make the next move. Most girls won’t make any moves in the beginning. The fact that she has openly showed possible interest in you by touching, and talking with you is more then you can expect from most girls. If it were me I would ask her to do something fun. Asking her out would give me the chance to get to know her better. I really like food, so I would bring her to a casual tasty place. I would says something like “Lets get dinner tonight.” Do this in person, not through txt/phone or internet. When on the date the most important thing is to have a good time. That means talking about fun flirty things, making her laugh, and just enjoying yourself. Because if you sit there worrying about everything no one will have fun. So have fun, be yourself, the confident version. Don’t just try to be some fake version of yourself you think she will like, be the real you on your best coolest behavior. That means you are you, but its your best foot forward. Don’t be a wimp, just try to kiss and touch her on the first date. (unless you don't want to, being afraid doesn't count as not wanting to) Even if she turns you down you’ll earn points for being bold enough to try. At the end of the date if you want to see her again say something like “I had good time, lets do this again” and then suggest a time and place of another date in the near future no farther then a week out. Good luck, stop acting like you don’t know what to do. Even if you do the wrong thing that’s the only way you can learn. You can’t really learn from being scared, and just asking for advice. You have to go out there and risk it all and realize its fun not stressful. Have fun! Live life!
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