DontWorryBHappy Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 (edited) After about 20 days NC I ran into my ex tonight. I was walking to the bus stop, and suddenly I see him riding his bike beside me, and he told the person he was talking to on the phone that he had to call them back. Initially I felt a mild panic at seeing him suddenly. He wasn't sure how I would respond to him talking to me and said, "Can I ask for a hug?" and I gave him one. He started asking me about my life, wanting to know what I've been up to. He said weird stuff like "you still smell the same" and "you still have nice teeth" and brought up stuff from the past that we had talked about, or little jokes that we had. I asked him about his recent trip out of the country. He told me his camera was stolen, and commented that it was the "best thing he ever had" but then corrected himself by saying, "well, second best thing I ever had." I asked what the first best thing was and he smiled and didn't want to tell me, so it sort of seemed like he was referring to me, but who knows. At one point he asked me something like, "So you are moving on?" and I immediately told him that wasnt an appropriate question and he just said "well I just want to make sure you're ok." I repeated that talking about it wasnt appropriate. As we got off the bus at our stop (since we both happen to live in the same apartment complex) I didn't really wait for him and he was like, "Aww you're not waiting for me?" when he caught up to me. We just laughed and I said no comment. When the time came for me to turn into my place I gave him a hug, and he made it into one of those really long ones (as in, when I tried to move away at first he held on). I told him in a casual way that I had missed seeing him around, so it was good to see him. And he replied as his usual self by saying something that avoided any emotional connotations, like "haha it wasn't good seeing you." Also, when he was hugging me goodbye he sniffed me, which was weird. I was like, "can you stop smelling me?" jokingly... as he's done that before. He just said, "Well I like your smell, usually I dont like people's smells." Dont know what to make of that, lol. He said, "Well, until our next accidental/cooincidental meeting....", I said "see ya" and we parted. My feelings: I was shocked at how different he looked to me. And I mean, quite literally, his appearance physically! It's only been a few weeks, so I know it hasnt actually changed at all, but I don't know.... I must have literally had love blinders on before. Because all the raw, romantic attraction I felt for him before he broke up with me (and right after the break up) was not there. Perhaps because I no longer love him like a boyfriend that I thought I would marry. I still liked his smile, and there were definitely moments when I felt a pull of attraction briefly, but OVERALL it was very, very different (if that even makes any sense). I also realized that he really is super, SUPER immature. I could just tell. And that is even a little bit endearing to me, just because now I completely believe him for his reasons for the break up (that he was too emotionally immature to love or maintain a relationship). He really is... immaturity truly embodies him. I feel that the break up was ABSOLUTELY for the best.... 100%. But do admit that despite all this, he does have a soft place in my heart and I know I do for him too, and it's cushioned by the good memories from the past. I do not know what I might do in the future about being friends. We get along well now, but I still feel that if we spent any time together now we would revert back to the physical stuff (cuddling, etc) because we do have that soft spot for each other. I wonder if that will ever truly go away. Anyway, that was what happened. I feel pretty good. Edited May 19, 2011 by DontWorryBHappy
Author DontWorryBHappy Posted May 19, 2011 Author Posted May 19, 2011 If anyone wants to comment, I wouldnt mind
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