Jazzari Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 To everyone saying 5'9" isn't short, the ONLY time I have EVER been "average" was aroound hispanics or around a few guys that are so insecure that no woman would ever want them. I am the only LEGIT guy, more legit than the 6'2" "players" that live across the hall from me, under 6 foot.... like, I know who I am, but the height thing is like WOOOOAAAAHHHH. When an ugly, dumb, incapable man towers over me and just smirks like "yea but I'm better than you" I can't handle it. I have become a hermit. I could get girls... lots of girls. It's being around other guys and just the "energy" of the height thing makes me SO FREAKING NUTS. If these guys didn't have their height, they would be a COMPLETELY different person. Where I live, 5'9" is NOT average AT ALL. When I go to small redneck towns, yes there are more short people. But in the big popular city I live in in the USA, no way it's average. Just sitting at Starbucks right now, EVERY guy that has walked by me is 5'11"-6'2" except for one guy who was fat, ugly, and basically a completely insecure, incapable human. The other guys just have this smirk on their face ONLY cause their height....You can get girls "lots of girls" but you don't because MEN upset you? Dude, that is just nuts. If the girls like you, who cares about the guys? And if EVERY guy is tall, then they would have no reason to smirk about their height. They are average for your area. You don't smirk about being average. It kinda sounds like you are projecting here.
Wolf18 Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 I'm around the OP's age and guys my age, of all ethnicities, including a lot of 2nd generation hispanics and asians tend to be fairly tall (or atleast 5'10). I would say average height for my generation is around 5'11/6', and yes it makes a huge difference with the girls. I don't personally think being taller than me makes you better, but it's hard not to notice the reaction women have when they see a very tall guy. I don't feel intimidated or less confident in the presence of tall people like some seem to, and I would laugh my ass off if your every day lanky tall dude tried to push me around (after smashing his skull that is) , so I don't understand why anyone why everyone's so scared of this demographic. 5'9 isn't short, but it is short for plenty of women. I know for a fact my height gets me overlooked by most women. Being a tall guy is in my opinion more important than facial looks, money, and personality, I don't care what anyone says. However, all things considered OP, if you are 185 lbs and have little to no body fat then that should make up for it to women. A guy with your physique at 5'9 will be more attractive to some women than a guy who is tall but out of shape/rail thin. It's a fact of life that tall guys just pretty much need to "get out there" and socialize with women to get a girlfriend, while shorter guys have to try a lot harder to get any female attention at all, but life is a struggle and we live in real shallow times. Start talking to women that are around and someone will take the bait, you're not even that short, be grateful you're 5'9, I'm 5'7 and those 2 inches are actually pretty vital in a womans attraction (most women's height cutoff is 5'9). You barely made the cut , stop being mad at tall dudes, that's like an amputee being mad at people with 2 legs, it's not fair but it's the hand you were dealt.
thatone Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 (edited) You can get girls "lots of girls" but you don't because MEN upset you? Dude, that is just nuts. If the girls like you, who cares about the guys? heh, that reminded me of another forum post from a few years back that i saw, took some searching but i found it a couple minutes ago... A paraphrased excerpt from Sam's Ground Rules for Life: Your Mom and Other Social Interactions, Chapter XVII, "Opening Doors." p349-63. WOMEN AND DOORS As far as my girlfriend is concerned, she never touches a door; car, building, or otherwise, because I am classy like that. If I am with my girlfriend, and a door needs to be opened for old people, or a couple with a stroller en tow, I hold said door open for them to make myself look better. If I am approaching a door solo, and there is a girl behind me (glance at her over your shoulder, a few times if she is hot and you want her to know you are checking her out), usually I will walk through the door, turn, and hold it open for a girl. If the girl is of a unique hotness, I will get to the door open it and hold it open, and follow her out, as a true gentleman should. If the girl does not give thanks, a swift kick to the mid to upper back is in order, or at least a glare at the prissy b*tch. If I am approaching a glass door, and I can see someone else coming from the other side of the same door, a girl, and only a girl will be permitted to walk through before me. If any guy tries to usurp my door authority, they will receive no less than one haymaker to the jawline, which brings us to- GUIDELINES FOR GUYS AND DOORS. A guy is a different animal when it comes to door code. Girls obviously beg for attention and sexual gratification 24/7, so they deserve class, but guys, as competition, deserve hellfire. If a guy is walking behind you, do an over the shoulder glance ONCE and no more than ONCE, and only to guage distance and time it will take him to reach the door. Do NOT glance more than once or you are checking him out, homo. If he will reach the door within it still being open, you give the shove, plain and simple. In my experience, the ONLY time that you are allowed to stop and hold a door is if the guy is running, jogging, or noticeably in a hurry, in which case you are allowed to hold the door open for a MAXIMUM of 2-3 seconds. After that, whether a facade or not, you yourself need to be somewhere too, and you let the door close. Period. If you do hold a door for a guy, and he does not give thanks or at least "the nod", the lawbooks in 47 states of our union allow maiming, light dismemberment, or in the most extreme cases, tearing the fibre of their existence asunder. Extreme cases of "no-thank" scenarios include but are not limited to- - Holding a door open for a guy AND his girlfriend - Holding a door open for crippled men on crutches. If you approach a glass door and see a guy coming through the other side, screw him, you go through with a light shove of the door. If the door is not glass and his presence is a surprise, screw him, there are other exists that he is free to employ. If at any time a guy resists, and tries to dominate your passage through the door portal, it's Glock time. Bear in mind that as a man, you should have the aura, authority, and stature to completely monopolize the entire door opening. NO MAN should even consider trying to get through a door at the same time as you. Plain and simple. If you let this happen, please get a sex change, Nancy. I hope this has been helpful and informative. Please check your local and national booksellers for Sam's Ground Rules for Life: Your Mom and Other Social Interactions, now in its third printed edition. Also available by Sam are I Saw You Make an Ass of Yourself in Public, pocket edition and How to Make Everyone Know Just How Awesome You Are. (not to be taken literally, for all of you psychos on this forum, but for you ladies, yes it's accurate. this is really how men think about such things) there was another one regarding how to acknowledge the presence of other men that included the "cop nod" but i can't find it. if you women want to start a funny conversation ask your boyfriend about the "cop nod". they will know what you're talking about and be happy to explain. reason it came to mind in addition to the above post is i was at the checkout in a store a few weeks back and this (apparently) 19-21 year old moron was standing about 2 inches behind me, bumping in to me about every 3 or 4 seconds while yapping on his phone about what so and so put on myspace. we were the only two people in the store, so it's not like another man was too close to him and pushing him forward. as per the man code, i first gave him the combo bow-up/shoulder glance, then the slow turn and threatening glare, then finally had to resort to the "dude, what the f***". (yes, there is an acceptable order of responses to violations of the man code, too, that every man should know). this is where we're all going in the next few years due to kids growing up on facebook and myspace without actual real life contact with other humans. pretty soon centuries of man code will be reduced to nothing but random internet text. thanks al gore! Edited May 20, 2011 by thatone
sanskrit Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 Just FYI - my newest signature was inspired specifically by you. I thought you might be flattered to know that. Missed this earlier, and am flattered despite the signature not describing my attitudes towards women in the least. I do like the signature though, as it highlights one of the biggest lies of feminism, any time a man disagrees with -a- woman or -some- women, he is "arrogant" and "hostile" towards -all- women, together with one of the most intellectually bankrupt tenets of "feminist discussion" (or what passes for such in Springer/Oprah land), "any time a man disagrees with a woman, a rational response to him is to question his manliness or virility." Your signature sums up the utter failings of feminism quite nicely actually, bravo.
OliveOyl Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 Being a tall guy is in my opinion more important than facial looks, money, and personality, I don't care what anyone says. So you don't care if the majority of the women on this board said that this statement isn't true, you're still going to go along and believe that height is the most important thing to women? I actually don't like really tall guys. 6'2" is too tall for me. About 5'10", maybe 5'11" is perfect. For one thing, I am not into the skinny tall lean look. I prefer more muscular and maybe slightly stocky. I'd way rather have a 5'8" built guy than a 6'0" skinny guy. But in terms of ranking, for me it would be: Personality/facial looks/money/height. In that order.
Wolf18 Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 So you don't care if the majority of the women on this board said that this statement isn't true, you're still going to go along and believe that height is the most important thing to women? I actually don't like really tall guys. 6'2" is too tall for me. About 5'10", maybe 5'11" is perfect. For one thing, I am not into the skinny tall lean look. I prefer more muscular and maybe slightly stocky. I'd way rather have a 5'8" built guy than a 6'0" skinny guy. But in terms of ranking, for me it would be: Personality/facial looks/money/height. In that order. The majority of the women on this board can say what they want, but I'm talking about what I've seen. I am very observant and notice that the only guys women start drooling over on the train, at the bar, or on the street are very tall. I do notice good looking guys who are not that tall and nobody really gives them much attention. I can honestly say that from the couples I notice on the street that are around my age (early 20's) the guy is with very few exceptions, atleast 6-7 inches taller than the girl, if he's not then he's built like a tank. Like all rules, there are exceptions, but this is the general thing I've noticed. It's pretty discouraging to guys like me, but the OP has a good chance if his body build is as crazy huge as he claims.
OliveOyl Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 I can honestly say that from the couples I notice on the street that are around my age (early 20's) the guy is with very few exceptions, atleast 6-7 inches taller than the girl, if he's not then he's built like a tank. Well yeah... the average height difference between men and women IS around 6 inches. So not surprising that's what you'd see. The average woman is 5'4" and the average man is 5'10". I'm 5'2" so it would only take a guy around 5'8" or 5'9" to make that 6-7 inch difference.
LexiB Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 Dude, get thee to a therapist. Pronto. Your issues are way above everyone's paygrade here.
sweetjasmine Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 I actually don't like really tall guys. 6'2" is too tall for me. About 5'10", maybe 5'11" is perfect. For one thing, I am not into the skinny tall lean look. I prefer more muscular and maybe slightly stocky. I'd way rather have a 5'8" built guy than a 6'0" skinny guy. Same here. I tried dating a guy who was 6'2", and since I'm short, it was physically uncomfortable to even hug him. My SO is 5'9", and I think that's the perfect height. It's funny, of my male friends who are around average height or below, I can't think of one who has ever had problems getting women, but I can think of two tall guy friends who have. People only notice what they want to see.
Mme. Chaucer Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 I think it's easy to agree that tall men are generally attractive to women. Also, girls with big boobs and a certain body type are very attractive to men - in general. And, that those of us who don't share those characteristics can find women or men who actually like us anyway, the way we are.
Mme. Chaucer Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 Missed this earlier, and am flattered despite the signature not describing my attitudes towards women in the least. My signature addresses behavior towards women (arrogant, aggressive and scornful) which you demonstrate consistently here on LS and express right here in this post; here's another example: Honestly do women sleep through basic high school statistics classes? Reading these forums leads to the conclusion that many of them do just that. and then it proposes that an underlying attitude towards ones virility that's demonstrated by that behavior. I happen to believe it's true. I do like the signature though, as it highlights one of the biggest lies of feminism, any time a man disagrees with -a- woman or -some- women, he is "arrogant" and "hostile" towards -all- women, together with one of the most intellectually bankrupt tenets of "feminist discussion" (or what passes for such in Springer/Oprah land), "any time a man disagrees with a woman, a rational response to him is to question his manliness or virility." Your signature sums up the utter failings of feminism quite nicely actually, bravo.
Engadget Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 Same here. I tried dating a guy who was 6'2", and since I'm short, it was physically uncomfortable to even hug him. My SO is 5'9", and I think that's the perfect height. It's funny, of my male friends who are around average height or below, I can't think of one who has ever had problems getting women, but I can think of two tall guy friends who have. People only notice what they want to see. My cousin is 6'7'' and doesn't get many women, but it's partially because of his lifestyle and outlook on life.
sanskrit Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 and then it proposes that an underlying attitude towards ones virility that's demonstrated by that behavior. Actually what it says is that men with virility problems tend to be aggressive, scornful, etc. towards women, not that any man who expresses such an attitude has such virility issues. It doesn't actually say what you hoped it did at all, does it? And it certainly doesn't say anything about people who express an aggressive, arrogant or scornful attitude about modern feminism (as SDB herself undoubtedly would), as we all know that "feminism" does not equal "women," so once again, it doesn't actually say what you had hoped it did about me either, does it? And judging by the tenor of the normal threads here on LS, is accusing women in a thread of sleeping through statistics class really an arrogant, aggressive or scornful attitude about women generally? Of course it isn't. Maybe try again?
Author Stocky Posted May 20, 2011 Author Posted May 20, 2011 Ok, my theory is this: 1. Height will get you noticed more than good looks on first impressions, as it creates the illusion of "power" and "strength" (even though it literally is only an illusion many times) 2. However, at the end of the day, the girl is going to choose who is the most handsome, simply because your face is what you look at and who you are. I once read "being tall will get you noticed, a handsome face will get you married." 3. Before looks come into play, however, the girl will choose who makes her feel best about herself and makes her feel happy in general. While a guy can only have physical needs for a girl, a girl has very strong emotional needs she needs to have filled from a guy.
Mme. Chaucer Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 Awesome job of oozing scorn, agression and arrogance with this post! :bunny: Lots of bitterness, too. Very expressive! But honestly, I understand what something "actually" says without your help with interpretation. This is what it "actually says": "No one is more arrogant toward women, more aggressive or scornful, than the man who is anxious about his virility." I think that's absolutely straightforward! Excuse me for saying so, but you don't show that you anything to offer us in that department, particularly in the areas of bell curves, statistics and feminism. Maybe try again? Actually what it says is that men with virility problems tend to be aggressive, scornful, etc. towards women, not that any man who expresses such an attitude has such virility issues. It doesn't actually say what you hoped it did at all, does it? And it certainly doesn't say anything about people who express an aggressive, arrogant or scornful attitude about modern feminism (as SDB herself undoubtedly would), as we all know that "feminism" does not equal "women," so once again, it doesn't actually say what you had hoped it did about me either, does it? And judging by the tenor of the normal threads here on LS, is accusing women in a thread of sleeping through statistics class really an arrogant, aggressive or scornful attitude about women generally? Of course it isn't. Maybe try again?
sanskrit Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 Awesome job of oozing scorn, agression and arrogance with this post! :bunny: Lots of bitterness, too. Very expressive! Exactly, anything that a man says that disagrees with a woman necessarily oozes scorn, aggression and arrogance, as opposed to... disagreement, spirited or otherwise. QED.
salty goodness Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 (edited) The majority of the women on this board can say what they want, but I'm talking about what I've seen. I am very observant and notice that the only guys women start drooling over on the train, at the bar, or on the street are very tall. I do notice good looking guys who are not that tall and nobody really gives them much attention. I can honestly say that from the couples I notice on the street that are around my age (early 20's) the guy is with very few exceptions, atleast 6-7 inches taller than the girl, if he's not then he's built like a tank. Like all rules, there are exceptions, but this is the general thing I've noticed. It's pretty discouraging to guys like me, but the OP has a good chance if his body build is as crazy huge as he claims. i live in nyc so a pretty large, diverse population and i have no clue where these giant men are living. i take the subway to all the boroughs, i walk everywhere, i frequent restaurants and bars and have yet to encounter these gigantic male specimens with their tiny women. of course i see tall men, but most men either average height or shorter than 5'8. the op and other men opining about their height are obsessed with this one aspect of their physical appearance and rather than admitting that perhaps the real reason they are not attracting women is their behavior or personality, they're blaming it on their height. Edited May 20, 2011 by salty goodness
Enchanted Girl Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 Exactly, anything that a man says that disagrees with a woman necessarily oozes scorn, aggression and arrogance, as opposed to... disagreement, spirited or otherwise. QED. It's fine to disagree with individuals. The problem is you keep labeling women as a whole over and over again. That we all like this or that. That we all do this or that. And that all of it is bad. I've met my fair share of men who were insultful towards me. Literally telling me to my face that I am ugly and can never get any. These women, you just PERCEIVE as feeling certain ways, while I've had men say it to my face. Many of them when I was growing up and all awkward looking as a teenager. Now I am an adult. I have more of a grasp on my body and appearance. And I don't label all men as being one way or another just because I met a bunch of shallow ones when I was younger. I know they are all individuals. And I've never once rejected a guy due to his height, but I will tell you, there are several occasions where I've rejected men due to their attitude. There's this idea going around that women will agree to date you if you insult them first and it never works on me. Had a guy tell me I was his last choice and ask me out and I told him no immediately, that he'd just have to be alone. I had another guy call me fat and then ask me out and I started laughing in his face when he did it. The last guy who asked me out told me that my speech (we were in speech class together) sucked and also talked on and on about how women were irrational emotional creatures and when he asked me out I said no as well. And some of these men were TALL, but I couldn't stand their attitudes.
Wolf18 Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 Well yeah... the average height difference between men and women IS around 6 inches. So not surprising that's what you'd see. The average woman is 5'4" and the average man is 5'10". I'm 5'2" so it would only take a guy around 5'8" or 5'9" to make that 6-7 inch difference. I would say the average woman my age (early 20's) height has grown to about 5'5, and taller than that is actually fairly common as well. Remember also, women want a guy 6 inches taller than them after heels, which means the guy has to be 9-10 inches taller. Do you see where the dilemma lies for a guy like me that's 5'7? I have to find a dwarf dating event if I want a chance, and chances are the men will probably kick the **** out of me as soon as I try to walk in through the door. I think it's easy to agree that tall men are generally attractive to women. Also, girls with big boobs and a certain body type are very attractive to men - in general. And, that those of us who don't share those characteristics can find women or men who actually like us anyway, the way we are. [/Quote] Thanks for being honest, but your analogy is flawed. I know so many men who prefer A's or B's, including myself, to double D's, and if the big tits are fake than that is actually a DEALBREAKER for me. I have never, and will never, ever meet a woman who prefers a guy that's 5'6 or 5'7 over a guy that's 5'11, it just won't happen. THe male definition of what body types are attractive is the same story. Some guys I know like the "meat on the bones" slightly overweight look, others like the rail thin look, and most prefer something inbetween. Not to mention that if you go to the gym you can mold your body into whatever you want! Again, there is no woman who actually likes guys that are short. There are women who will tolerate it, but they would still be a lot more enthusiastic about said guy if he was the same person only 4-5 inches taller. There is no female equivalent to height. Being under average height for a man is the biggest handicap anyone looking for female companionship can have.
Mme. Chaucer Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 Thanks for being honest, but your analogy is flawed. I know so many men who prefer A's or B's, including myself, to double D's, and if the big tits are fake than that is actually a DEALBREAKER for me. I have never, and will never, ever meet a woman who prefers a guy that's 5'6 or 5'7 over a guy that's 5'11, it just won't happen. But there are many women on this thread, as well as on the dozens of other threads just like this one, who say that they DO prefer shorter men. Why don't you acknowledge those? THe male definition of what body types are attractive is the same story. Some guys I know like the "meat on the bones" slightly overweight look, others like the rail thin look, and most prefer something inbetween. Not to mention that if you go to the gym you can mold your body into whatever you want! Again, there is no woman who actually likes guys that are short. There are women who will tolerate it, but they would still be a lot more enthusiastic about said guy if he was the same person only 4-5 inches taller. Patently untrue. My daughter, who is 23, is an "Amazon." She has always liked "tiny" fellows. It's a family joke. My boyfriend's daughter is 5'1" and she finds tall people of both genders unattractive. Her husband is about 5'6". If women were just picking guys out of a lineup, you might be partly correct; maybe the majority would choose a 6' version over a 5'5" version of otherwise identical fellows - me included. In real life, plenty of women are attracted to so many things about an individual that his height becomes a non-issue. And, please. There are scores of women here who say that no man likes them because of this, or that physical characteristic that they have. Deny it all you like - for them, it's reality. Just like the height is for you - and NOT for loads of confident short men. I was married to a man who was 6'1". I am about to marry a man who is 5'8". No, I wouldn't "be a lot more enthusiastic" about this man if he were 4 - 5 inches taller. Please show me the respect of NOT ARGUING with me about this. I know what I think, what I like and what I am feeling. Typically, I am attracted to tall men, but when I met this one it was literally instant love and connection. Of course it helps that his own height is a non - issue for HIM. If he were whining about it, I probably wouldn't have liked him much. Big turn off. There is no female equivalent to height. Being under average height for a man is the biggest handicap anyone looking for female companionship can have. Honestly, the attitude would be what killed it for me. I would NEVER like ANY man who had a serious hang-up and blamed success or failure on a physical characteristic. And, read these fora thoroughly. You'll find posts from many men who have SERIOUS handicaps where relating to women is concerned ... they are miles away from getting involved with any woman, on any level (unless they hire a pro). I'm willing to bet that plenty of them are TALL. Just for the record, I happen to have a wonderful friend who is paralyzed from the waist down as a result of a gunshot wound when he was a child. He has been in a wheelchair since then. He has gained a tremendous amount of upper body strength and takes complete care of himself. He is a published writer ... he is very good looking, confident, smart, hilarious and WAY COOL. He is kind of a player; always has a very hot and modelesque type of girlfriend. That guy is deserving of sympathy and some would say pity, but he'll have none of it. If he were into blaming all his successes and failures with women (not to mention the rest of his life) on this physical situation, people would understand. And, he wouldn't have hot girlfriends (except for the ones who love to have a "needy" guy).
SxB Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 Ok, before any of you comment on me "re-posting" my stupid height threads or commenting on how I am trying to get you to "co-sign" my insecurity, hear me out. Ok, I just turned 23 years old. For 4 years now I have barley dated any girls, barley gone out socially, barley done anything that young people should be out doing all because of one thing: MY F***ING HEIGHT Ok, I'm going to give you guys the prime example of WHY I can't stand my height. Ok, I've been working the past few weeks, I weigh like 185 pounds with little to no body fat, my dad is 6'1" and played professional baseball so you can imagine my genetics. Tonight I was feeling really good about myself, ready to go out and hit on girls and what not, but when I go outside my apartment (I live in a college town), like every guy is 6'2" with pretty girls all around them, and when they see me they act like they just saw a squirell, like I barley exist, ONLY because of how much the guys tower over me (AND I'm huge).... when that happened tonight, I went inside my room and almost started hyperventelating, I can't help it, I feel like I will never be able to party and truly have fun because of my height, and I'm supposed to be with these girls but when they look at my height it's like I'm nothing. I've wasted soooo much of my life, the best years of my life, HATING life and hating everyone because of my height... I need SERIOUS help. When I see a 6'2" guy and see how girls look at him ONLY because of his height and see how his personality is ONLY because of his height I flip my s**t.... I'm freaking 23 years old and barley EVER partied with anyone, I smoked weed by myself multiple times daily for years justr to "numb out" this pain I have over my height. Will someone tell me what is going on? Am I a psycho? Am I a narcissist? I want to get out and find a sweet girl that I can love and be in a relationship with but I have this "block" in my head stopping me from going after ANY girls simply because of my height. I reeaally want to be in a relationship with a girl.... but I just have this fear of me being with her, then a 6'2" guy walking by and her jaw dropping to the floor ONLY because his height combined with not being retarted.... like I would go off the deep-end if I were dating a girl and that happened... what the hell is going on. Is this how life just is Just matters how you feel about yourself.
Untouchable_Fire Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 But there are many women on this thread, as well as on the dozens of other threads just like this one, who say that they DO prefer shorter men. Why don't you acknowledge those? Most of those ladies are on the mature end of the spectrum. OP lives in a college town. I still deal with that age group as some of my friends are 21-22. Both the men and the women are EXTREMELY SHALLOW!!! OP has to learn to deal with constant rejection. It's a male right of passage. His height is not the only limiting factor. Being 5'9" may shut more doors than it opens, but if he pretends to be 6'10" that can help to compensate. Patently untrue. My daughter, who is 23, is an "Amazon." She has always liked "tiny" fellows. It's a family joke. My boyfriend's daughter is 5'1" and she finds tall people of both genders unattractive. Her husband is about 5'6". If women were just picking guys out of a lineup, you might be partly correct; maybe the majority would choose a 6' version over a 5'5" version of otherwise identical fellows - me included. In real life, plenty of women are attracted to so many things about an individual that his height becomes a non-issue. And, please. There are scores of women here who say that no man likes them because of this, or that physical characteristic that they have. Deny it all you like - for them, it's reality. Just like the height is for you - and NOT for loads of confident short men. Very, Very True! I was married to a man who was 6'1". I am about to marry a man who is 5'8". No, I wouldn't "be a lot more enthusiastic" about this man if he were 4 - 5 inches taller. Please show me the respect of NOT ARGUING with me about this. I know what I think, what I like and what I am feeling. Typically, I am attracted to tall men, but when I met this one it was literally instant love and connection. Of course it helps that his own height is a non - issue for HIM. If he were whining about it, I probably wouldn't have liked him much. Big turn off. Honestly, the attitude would be what killed it for me. I would NEVER like ANY man who had a serious hang-up and blamed success or failure on a physical characteristic. And, read these fora thoroughly. You'll find posts from many men who have SERIOUS handicaps where relating to women is concerned ... they are miles away from getting involved with any woman, on any level (unless they hire a pro). I'm willing to bet that plenty of them are TALL. Just for the record, I happen to have a wonderful friend who is paralyzed from the waist down as a result of a gunshot wound when he was a child. He has been in a wheelchair since then. He has gained a tremendous amount of upper body strength and takes complete care of himself. He is a published writer ... he is very good looking, confident, smart, hilarious and WAY COOL. He is kind of a player; always has a very hot and modelesque type of girlfriend. That guy is deserving of sympathy and some would say pity, but he'll have none of it. If he were into blaming all his successes and failures with women (not to mention the rest of his life) on this physical situation, people would understand. And, he wouldn't have hot girlfriends (except for the ones who love to have a "needy" guy). OP already knows this stuff. He just needs the self confidence to face rejection. Having had to go through this myself in highschool... I can say its very hard. Because you have never really had to face it in a big way... I don't think you can relate. Thus it's best to just assure him women are not 100% all about height and let the guys provide insight into fighting the anxiety.
Untouchable_Fire Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 Ok, my theory is this: 1. Height will get you noticed more than good looks on first impressions, as it creates the illusion of "power" and "strength" (even though it literally is only an illusion many times) 2. However, at the end of the day, the girl is going to choose who is the most handsome, simply because your face is what you look at and who you are. I once read "being tall will get you noticed, a handsome face will get you married." 3. Before looks come into play, however, the girl will choose who makes her feel best about herself and makes her feel happy in general. While a guy can only have physical needs for a girl, a girl has very strong emotional needs she needs to have filled from a guy. Stocky... think of it like this... when your playing baseball and the pitcher throws a fastball down the middle... If you just keeping thinking "don't miss, don't miss, don't miss"... You are going to miss. Why? Because you keep thinking about failure. Instead focus on what you WANT! If you want a girl to pay attention to you... focus on how to make that happen and most of the time IT WILL! Also... you may have some clinical anxiety issues. You may want to speak to a professional about how to tackle that.
sanskrit Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 It's fine to disagree with individuals. The problem is you keep labeling women as a whole over and over again. That we all like this or that. That we all do this or that. And that all of it is bad. It would be easier to dismiss the points I make if the above were actually the case, unfortunately it's not.
You'reasian Posted May 21, 2011 Posted May 21, 2011 Ok, before any of you comment on me "re-posting" my stupid height threads or commenting on how I am trying to get you to "co-sign" my insecurity, hear me out. Ok, I just turned 23 years old. For 4 years now I have barley dated any girls, barley gone out socially, barley done anything that young people should be out doing all because of one thing: MY F***ING HEIGHT Ok, I'm going to give you guys the prime example of WHY I can't stand my height. Ok, I've been working the past few weeks, I weigh like 185 pounds with little to no body fat, my dad is 6'1" and played professional baseball so you can imagine my genetics. Tonight I was feeling really good about myself, ready to go out and hit on girls and what not, but when I go outside my apartment (I live in a college town), like every guy is 6'2" with pretty girls all around them, and when they see me they act like they just saw a squirell, like I barley exist, ONLY because of how much the guys tower over me (AND I'm huge).... when that happened tonight, I went inside my room and almost started hyperventelating, I can't help it, I feel like I will never be able to party and truly have fun because of my height, and I'm supposed to be with these girls but when they look at my height it's like I'm nothing. I've wasted soooo much of my life, the best years of my life, HATING life and hating everyone because of my height... I need SERIOUS help. When I see a 6'2" guy and see how girls look at him ONLY because of his height and see how his personality is ONLY because of his height I flip my s**t.... I'm freaking 23 years old and barley EVER partied with anyone, I smoked weed by myself multiple times daily for years justr to "numb out" this pain I have over my height. Will someone tell me what is going on? Am I a psycho? Am I a narcissist? I want to get out and find a sweet girl that I can love and be in a relationship with but I have this "block" in my head stopping me from going after ANY girls simply because of my height. I reeaally want to be in a relationship with a girl.... but I just have this fear of me being with her, then a 6'2" guy walking by and her jaw dropping to the floor ONLY because his height combined with not being retarted.... like I would go off the deep-end if I were dating a girl and that happened... what the hell is going on. Is this how life just is The overtone of your message is that you're young and a little self conscious about being average height. The average American male is 5'9". I'm a tad bit taller than you and its never been an issue, even with women taller than me. Your personality, rather who you ARE - matters more than your height in the long run. If you're just trying to work the college bar scene in a random college town, sure being a tall, cool guy is going to be an immediate benefit. I've seen guys 5'5" in latin clubs dancing with and hanging out with jaw-dropping beautiful women as tall as you and I. That discredits your tall theory.
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