Stocky Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 (edited) Ok, before any of you comment on me "re-posting" my stupid height threads or commenting on how I am trying to get you to "co-sign" my insecurity, hear me out. Ok, I just turned 23 years old. For 4 years now I have barley dated any girls, barley gone out socially, barley done anything that young people should be out doing all because of one thing: MY F***ING HEIGHT Ok, I'm going to give you guys the prime example of WHY I can't stand my height. Ok, I've been working the past few weeks, I weigh like 185 pounds with little to no body fat, my dad is 6'1" and played professional baseball so you can imagine my genetics. Tonight I was feeling really good about myself, ready to go out and hit on girls and what not, but when I go outside my apartment (I live in a college town), like every guy is 6'2" with pretty girls all around them, and when they see me they act like they just saw a squirell, like I barley exist, ONLY because of how much the guys tower over me (AND I'm huge).... when that happened tonight, I went inside my room and almost started hyperventelating, I can't help it, I feel like I will never be able to party and truly have fun because of my height, and I'm supposed to be with these girls but when they look at my height it's like I'm nothing. I've wasted soooo much of my life, the best years of my life, HATING life and hating everyone because of my height... I need SERIOUS help. When I see a 6'2" guy and see how girls look at him ONLY because of his height and see how his personality is ONLY because of his height I flip my s**t.... I'm freaking 23 years old and barley EVER partied with anyone, I smoked weed by myself multiple times daily for years justr to "numb out" this pain I have over my height. Will someone tell me what is going on? Am I a psycho? Am I a narcissist? I want to get out and find a sweet girl that I can love and be in a relationship with but I have this "block" in my head stopping me from going after ANY girls simply because of my height. I reeaally want to be in a relationship with a girl.... but I just have this fear of me being with her, then a 6'2" guy walking by and her jaw dropping to the floor ONLY because his height combined with not being retarted.... like I would go off the deep-end if I were dating a girl and that happened... what the hell is going on. Is this how life just is Edited May 19, 2011 by Stocky
Datura Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 (edited) When I see a 6'2" guy and see how girls look at him ONLY because of his height and see how his personality is ONLY because of his height I flip my s**tYou're projecting. These females are not ogling men "only" because of their height. Nor are these mens personalities a result of their height - come on. You are so invested in stature, and that is all you can see: in yourself and in others. Body dysmorphia sounds like a real possibility. You are not your height, but it's so intertwined with your identity, that it has been permitted to stifle your very existence. First of all, stop comparing yourself to others. Gain some perspective. You can't change your height, you have to learn to accept it. And that's not what's stopping you anyway, it's your own perceptions. Edited May 19, 2011 by Datura
D-Lish Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 The last 2 guys I have dated have been slightly shorter than I am, or pretty much the same height. I am 5'7". I don't care tooi much about height.
alethean Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 5'9" is average height. I am 5'4", and I would definitely date someone of that height, because the (admittedly few) guys I have dated were around 5'7" or 8". I don't know if it's the school I go to (nerd central), but I notice more guys under 5'9" than over--and they're getting dates--so I don't think it's as big as an issue as one may think. I won't lie and say that height is unimportant to most women, but I also think that since you are taller than most women the problem is not as big as you think. Do you think it's growing up with your dad that has led to these insecurities? My brother and dad are around your height (and have always been the slightest men in our extended family), but height has never been a problem for my brother.
Cracker Jack Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 I think you'd be better off seeking professional help rather than looking for a nice woman right about now. You're as tall as you're going to be. You can either accept it or cry about it for the rest of your life and expect people to consistently sympathize with your "huge" disadvantage in life. For awhile, I hated my lack of height (5'8") as well. And my dad is 6'3", so you can only imagine how many "you're going to be tall" comments I heard growing up. We all have hang-up's on things, that's life in general; but at a certain point, you have to just focus on what you CAN control and build from there. You're about average height. Big deal. It's not the end of the world. And I might sound like I'm trying to be mean, but really, I'm not.
Enchanted Girl Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 You're projecting. These females are not ogling men "only" because of their height. Nor are these mens personalities a result of their height - come on. You are so invested in stature, and that is all you can see: in yourself and in others. Body dysmorphia sounds like a real possibility. You are not your height, but it's so intertwined with your identity, that it has been permitted to stifle your very existence. First of all, stop comparing yourself to others. Gain some perspective. You can't change your height, you have to learn to accept it. And that's not what's stopping you anyway, it's your own perceptions. Agreed. Because you're not even short. Your height is average and its perfect the way it is. LOL. I wouldn't complain at all about dating a guy who is 5'9". I'm 5'4" and I could wear gigantic heels and still not be taller than you. My ex (of five years) was 5'5" and it never bothered me. He had a nice body, a great dick, beautiful blue eyes, and thick, wavy hair. He was gorgeous to me. Being short didn't make him ugly. How could it when he had all those things going for him? My current boyfriend is 6'1", but I didn't date him for that reason. In fact, when I first met him, he was sitting down and I got a crush on him immediately. I didn't realize how much he towered over me until he stood up. Height actually makes very little difference to me. I've dated men of a variety of heights and no girl who is worth a crap is going to think she's settling by being with you just because you're less than 6 feet tall. You do realize that I can't do sexual things with my current boyfriend that I could do with my ex because we aren't close to the same height. I also can't just run up and surprise him with a kiss. He has to bend down to meet my lips because I can't reach that high even on my tippy toes. I used to surprise my ex with kisses all the time, since we were almost the same height. It doesn't really matter that much. There's awesome things about dating people of various heights and you need to learn to love yourself. Besides, at 5'9" tall, you do realize how much you tower over some girls, right? XD Like friends I have who are five feet tall or four foot ten. OMG. I can understand feeling insecure though. As a woman, I sometimes wish I was shorter to be cuter and more petite. My boyfriend likes to date really little girls. I met one of his ex's and she went up to my chest. Holy crap, she was small and it was also gross though. Because she was pretty much at dick level with my boyfriend and it was like a child having sex with an adult. Ew.
Dust Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 Being tall certainly helps with women. It isn’t the end all be all. If you are hyperventilating at the though of the way you look physically then something is very wrong. You should either help yourself or find help to bring your confidence up. My friend is 5’2 and he has dated so many cute girls. This guy still lives at home and is older then you. He also works one of the most unsexy jobs. Point is he goes out there and makes it work for him. You can do it.
Titania22 Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 Seriously my husband was 5'4" with the complex. It was really unappealing and yet he is ont his 3rd LTR, if a short, psychopath, drug addict with a big chip on his shoulder can get women, there is no reason you can't. Seriously 5'9" is a totally awesome height.
somedude81 Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 Dude get some therapy already. I'm 5'6 and you hate your height a hell of a lot more than I hate mine. Stop posting about it. It's obvious all you want are ego boosters of people telling you that your height is fine. Get help.
Enchanted Girl Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 We all have crap we hate about our bodies. My eyes are too close together in my opinion and there's absolutely nothing I can do about it. No surgery I can do to fix it. I spend most of my time trying to cover it up using strategic make-up enhancers. I also have some body dysmorphia problems myself. In theory I know I have large breasts, they are DDD's, but when I look at the label on my bra and then my breasts in the mirror, they don't match to me. My breasts look tiny to me. I hate them. =( They also don't defy gravity like porn stars breasts do and I wish I had different nipples. I wish I was thinner. Yes, this is a choice, blah, blah, blah, but its still something I hate about myself and something that isn't uncommon in my Dad's side of the family. My nose is humongous in my opinion. My hair is too curly. My boyfriend and I had an argument recently. He said that women can get anything they want just by flirting and/or flashing their breasts at a man. He insists that I could use these things to my advantage if I wanted to and I insist that I can't because I'm too unattractive. I believe pretty girls can do those things, but not me. I'll never be a really pretty girl. I've never been the kind of girl that men drool over. Women claim they've caught men staring at their bodies, but I haven't ever. Men like to date me and settle with me, but they think I'm pretty and cute and smart. Not smoking sexy. I've given my boyfriend's strip teases, but I'm still unsure of whether or not they enjoyed them. So you see? We all have things we freak out over about our body's. We're all imperfect and I'm always scared men will suddenly decide they never want to date me again because I'm not good looking enough. The fact is they don't. I'm harder on myself than they are on me. And because I don't let my panicking get in the way of me going out there, I actually get boyfriends.
TheyCallMeBruce Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 Wait, what? 5'9" is exactly average. I know tons and tons of dudes who are average height or shorter and get tons of women. Something's up.
Jazzari Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 I'm 5'5" and I've dated people from 5'8" to 6'1" and I think they are all attractive. Tall or short, it just doesn't matter to me. I don't think 5'9" is short, but you might try elevated shoes if it bothers you.
Sabali Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 5'9 is the average height for a man in the US. How can you be insecure about being average height? Napoleon was shorter than you.
veggirl Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 Co-signing that 5'9 is NOT a big deal. I am 5'8 and dated a guy who is 5'9 for YEARS. This is in your head and you are LOOKING FOR guys who are tall and have girls surrounding them, that's why that is ALL you see.
BiscuitXOXO Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 So, Stocky, I hope you are reading these comments and will decide to think over these issues, open your eyes, and if you can afford it, go see a therapist. Your height is honestly no big deal. It's only a problem because you think it is. There are many girls who actually prefer a guy your height over someone who is 6 foot+ (me included.)
Star Gazer Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 ...when I go outside my apartment (I live in a college town), like every guy is 6'2" with pretty girls all around them, and when they see me they act like they just saw a squirell, like I barley exist, ONLY because of how much the guys tower over me (AND I'm huge).... When I see a 6'2" guy and see how girls look at him ONLY because of his height and see how his personality is ONLY because of his height I flip my s**t.... I just have this fear of me being with her, then a 6'2" guy walking by and her jaw dropping to the floor ONLY because his height combined with not being retarted.... I have news for you. You are not a mind reader. You do not know why any particular girl likes any particular guy more than you, unless she tells you while strapped to a lie detector with a qualified interpreter. Girls, gals, ladies, women, do not respond to you (or not) the way they do "ONLY" because of your height, or "ONLY" because of another guy's height. They just DON'T.
Knittress Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 I think you should give yourself props for facing your issues instead of continuuing to make BS excuses that solve nothing. You have an issue over your height, alright then, we ALL have issues - it doesn't make you a bad person, a 'narcissist', whatever... I think, once again, you're getting fixated on finding something in yourself to criticize rather than finding out what steps you ought to take in learning how to get over it and be ok with yourself.
Chicago_Guy Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 Ok, before any of you comment on me "re-posting" my stupid height threads or commenting on how I am trying to get you to "co-sign" my insecurity, hear me out. Ok, I just turned 23 years old. For 4 years now I have barley dated any girls, barley gone out socially, barley done anything that young people should be out doing all because of one thing: MY F***ING HEIGHT Ok, I'm going to give you guys the prime example of WHY I can't stand my height. Ok, I've been working the past few weeks, I weigh like 185 pounds with little to no body fat, my dad is 6'1" and played professional baseball so you can imagine my genetics. Tonight I was feeling really good about myself, ready to go out and hit on girls and what not, but when I go outside my apartment (I live in a college town), like every guy is 6'2" with pretty girls all around them, and when they see me they act like they just saw a squirell, like I barley exist, ONLY because of how much the guys tower over me (AND I'm huge).... when that happened tonight, I went inside my room and almost started hyperventelating, I can't help it, I feel like I will never be able to party and truly have fun because of my height, and I'm supposed to be with these girls but when they look at my height it's like I'm nothing. I've wasted soooo much of my life, the best years of my life, HATING life and hating everyone because of my height... I need SERIOUS help. When I see a 6'2" guy and see how girls look at him ONLY because of his height and see how his personality is ONLY because of his height I flip my s**t.... I'm freaking 23 years old and barley EVER partied with anyone, I smoked weed by myself multiple times daily for years justr to "numb out" this pain I have over my height. Will someone tell me what is going on? Am I a psycho? Am I a narcissist? I want to get out and find a sweet girl that I can love and be in a relationship with but I have this "block" in my head stopping me from going after ANY girls simply because of my height. I reeaally want to be in a relationship with a girl.... but I just have this fear of me being with her, then a 6'2" guy walking by and her jaw dropping to the floor ONLY because his height combined with not being retarted.... like I would go off the deep-end if I were dating a girl and that happened... what the hell is going on. Is this how life just is I question whether your post is even legit. I am half an inch shorter than you and this hasn't really been a problem for me, although I would not want to be shorter. For a lot of women 5'8" is right around their shortest cut-off, although that depends on the woman in question. Also, if you are 5'9" and have "little or no body fat," you have to have some serious muscle mass if you weigh 185 lbs. Skinny guys your height probably weigh 130 or maybe 140 lbs at the most and you have about 50 lbs on those guys. A lot of women would prefer a fit guy your height over a skinny or fat guy who is 6'2".
OliveOyl Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 I need SERIOUS help. When I see a 6'2" guy and see how girls look at him ONLY because of his height and see how his personality is ONLY because of his height I flip my s**t.... I'm freaking 23 years old and barley EVER partied with anyone, I smoked weed by myself multiple times daily for years justr to "numb out" this pain I have over my height. I seem to have already posted something trying to be helpful, thoughtful, and affirming, and realistic, about how 5'9" wasn't too short at all, how it wouldn't make a difference to me personally at all, nor most women I knew. But apparently all that fell on entirely deaf ears. So I will say: Yes, you DO need serious help, real help - e.g. therapy. And I don't say that lightly Because you have a body dysmorphic disorder. It's like women who are painfully thin and anorexic but still think of themselves as fat. And stop the weed if you're still smoking it. That will just heighten the height-based paranoia. Good luck.
Eeyore79 Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 I've dated guys who were 5'7 - 5'10, and none of them had this self-hatred that you seem to have. My friend is 5'9 and has had multiple girlfriends, plus he's been married twice. You really need some therapy because you're worrying about nothing.
Citizen Erased Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 For one, Napolean was 5'7, which was average height back then. As is 5'9 now. Complain when you're 5'1. I can't reach ANYTHING.
Ross MwcFan Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 5'9 is actually above average hight over here in the UK. I'm around 5'8 or 5'9 myself and I'm taller than most other people. If 5'9 is short or average in America, then there must be a lot of really tall people over there.
oldguy Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 The world was made for people who are around 5' 8" actually, everything from furniture to off the rack clothing. You have a body image problem very much like people who have eating disorders and believe they are over weight when they are less than 100 pounds. Get some help, Growing up with a 6' 1" dad who was a pro ball player probably doesn't help your self esteem issues. The list of famous& influential men your hight & shorter is endless & it's obvious that they did not consider their particular height as a deterrent. Bruce Lee for one was barely 5' 7". The problem has nothing to do with your height and everything to do with your perception & attitude. Get help & get on with your life.
oldguy Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 (edited) 5'9 is actually above average hight over here in the UK. I'm around 5'8 or 5'9 myself and I'm taller than most other people. If 5'9 is short or average in America, then there must be a lot of really tall people over there. 5' 7" is the world average height for men, I believe & 5' 8" to 5' 9" is the actual average in the U.S. as well. that is why I said earlier; the world is designed & built for people who are 5' 8", from furniture to cars to airplane seats to off the rack clothes. Edited May 19, 2011 by oldguy
Pyro Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 Ok, before any of you comment on me "re-posting" my stupid height threads or commenting on how I am trying to get you to "co-sign" my insecurity, hear me out. Ok, I just turned 23 years old. For 4 years now I have barley dated any girls, barley gone out socially, barley done anything that young people should be out doing all because of one thing: MY F***ING HEIGHT Ok, I'm going to give you guys the prime example of WHY I can't stand my height. Ok, I've been working the past few weeks, I weigh like 185 pounds with little to no body fat, my dad is 6'1" and played professional baseball so you can imagine my genetics. Tonight I was feeling really good about myself, ready to go out and hit on girls and what not, but when I go outside my apartment (I live in a college town), like every guy is 6'2" with pretty girls all around them, and when they see me they act like they just saw a squirell, like I barley exist, ONLY because of how much the guys tower over me (AND I'm huge).... when that happened tonight, I went inside my room and almost started hyperventelating, I can't help it, I feel like I will never be able to party and truly have fun because of my height, and I'm supposed to be with these girls but when they look at my height it's like I'm nothing. I've wasted soooo much of my life, the best years of my life, HATING life and hating everyone because of my height... I need SERIOUS help. When I see a 6'2" guy and see how girls look at him ONLY because of his height and see how his personality is ONLY because of his height I flip my s**t.... I'm freaking 23 years old and barley EVER partied with anyone, I smoked weed by myself multiple times daily for years justr to "numb out" this pain I have over my height. Will someone tell me what is going on? Am I a psycho? Am I a narcissist? I want to get out and find a sweet girl that I can love and be in a relationship with but I have this "block" in my head stopping me from going after ANY girls simply because of my height. I reeaally want to be in a relationship with a girl.... but I just have this fear of me being with her, then a 6'2" guy walking by and her jaw dropping to the floor ONLY because his height combined with not being retarted.... like I would go off the deep-end if I were dating a girl and that happened... what the hell is going on. Is this how life just is enough of it. There are a million girls out there. Are you expecting that if you were taller that all of those millions of women would bow down to you and love you? You have two things working against you: your height and your piss poor attitude. Height is going to work against everyone at some point. Girls who are 5 feet tall may not be attracted to a man over 6 feet tall and women closer to average height may not be attracted to a guy under 6 feet. Deal with it because there are plenty of women out there to go around. Once women meet the side of you that enjoys life and likes to have fun then you will see the women who have no issue with your height. FTR I am 5'8 and have been turned down numerous times and I can guarantee some of those times were based primarily on my height but I survived.
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