LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 I hear all the time that a guy is "creepy" for noticing something attractive about a girl. Well, what exactly is creepy about that? If we didn't notice your boobs, or butt, or how attractive you were, we would be gay. Women are so confusing.
ShatteredReality Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 I hear all the time that a guy is "creepy" for noticing something attractive about a girl. Well, what exactly is creepy about that? If we didn't notice your boobs, or butt, or how attractive you were, we would be gay. Women are so confusing. Noticing isn't creepy...leering is. If you just meet a girl and cannot peel your eyes away from her chest to look her in the eye when you speak to her...or you don't know a woman at all and just blatently stare at her butt then it's uncooth. It's about not wanting to be seen strictly for her physical attributes...it can make a woman feel cheap. Now...not to say that once you get to know her better this doesn't change...if my husband doesn't LUST after me now and again I feel neglected...but then...he's not some nasty drooly stranger who can't remember what I've said two seconds later because he's trying to see through my shirt.
Author LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted May 19, 2011 Author Posted May 19, 2011 Okay, that makes sense. But how do you show attraction to a girl without being sexual? That's what I don't get. Would a really good looking guy get away with stuff that an average or ugly guy wouldn't?
Jazzari Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 I think it depends on how its done. If you meet someone, and all they do is blantantly stare at your boobs, then that's insulting and annoying. A quick once over with an appreciative smile is much better.
Jazzari Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 Okay, that makes sense. But how do you show attraction to a girl without being sexual? That's what I don't get. Would a really good looking guy get away with stuff that an average or ugly guy wouldn't?No. In fact, I get more annoyed when a really good looking guy does it. It's like he thinks he's so good looking that he can get away with bad behavior.
ShatteredReality Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 Okay, that makes sense. But how do you show attraction to a girl without being sexual? That's what I don't get. Would a really good looking guy get away with stuff that an average or ugly guy wouldn't? You can give her signals...you can notice without staring...you can smile...look her in the eye...notice things besides just her body. If all you show her is that you're sexually attracted all you're telling her you want is sex...unless that's all she wants to you're not getting anywhere with her cause she wants you to be interested in her personality too.
Datura Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 how do you show attraction to a girl without being sexual? That's what I don't get. Are you viewing women as sex objects? Because if you're having that much difficulty in withholding sexual advances then you need to start from scratch. As in, treating women as human beings and start up conversations that don't revolve around them, what they look like, or sex.
Cee Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 My boyfriend wooed me in the beginning by complimenting my intelligence. He remarked on it quite a bit. After a while, I wanted him to compliment my body. But him complimenting my intelligence was incredible. I loved that. Later he admitted a friend coached him on that. Worked on me.
heartshaped Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 To me, it's just about not too much too fast. If we are just getting to know each other, I would appreciate and adore compliments. If we know each other a little bit more, I wouldn't mind you touching me, wrapping your arm around me or holding my hand. I feel everything comes in stages. If I just met you and you are all over me, staring at me, or only seem to be interested in me physically then yes, I probably would find you creepy.
chelle21689 Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 I agree with hearthshaped. I like a guy to give me compliments but not in a way where it seems like he's kissing butt. While in a relationship or when I get to know a guy better I'd like to catch him checking me out and complimenting me if I put effort into how I look . But I have to know he's not in to me just for my body for it to be non creepy
somedude81 Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 My boyfriend wooed me in the beginning by complimenting my intelligence. He remarked on it quite a bit. After a while, I wanted him to compliment my body. What are some body compliments that can be used? I've always been very afraid of commenting on the physical appearance of a girl I was interested in. For example there is a girl that I really like and she knows I like her, and I have never said anything about her appearance. I just don't have any idea what is appropriate. We aren't dating, just waiting on her to figure out what she wants. We might hang out at the mall next week, do a little shopping and I'm going to pick her up. Would it be OK for me to say, "Hey pretty lady" when I first see her or is that just stupid? She also has a nice rack and I wish she would stop being so conservative on covering it up. She's always wearing a zip-up hoodie. I keep wanting to tell her to take off her jacket and show some cleavage
alethean Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 I'd like that to be one of several things you notice about me.
Dust Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 Be yourself. Stop worrying about what other people consider creepy. You won’t enjoy being some fake way meant to appease women, and they won’t respect you for bending to their whims. Its best to be aggressive as opposed to passive aggressive. Take a good look at her and her body and enjoy it. Let it be your energy to get what you want. You also need to think bigger picture then just getting women. It’s about finally being yourself and going for all the things you want in life. Not letting fear of failure stop you.
DufenSchmertz Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 Most women really seem to just love it when a man signals his attraction by pinching her left nipple between thumb and forefinger, and twisting sharply. Good luck, gentlemen.
musemaj11 Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 My boyfriend wooed me in the beginning by complimenting my intelligence. He remarked on it quite a bit. After a while, I wanted him to compliment my body. But him complimenting my intelligence was incredible. I loved that. Later he admitted a friend coached him on that. Worked on me. Its actually a PUA stuff to compliment an attractive woman on anything other than her physical attributes. Its even mentioned in The Game.
Knittress Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 Its actually a PUA stuff to compliment an attractive woman on anything other than her physical attributes. Its even mentioned in The Game. Out-and-out compliments always strike me as manipulative, which turns me off... I get that some people respond well to flattery, but if a formulaic "Your (blank) is awesome" is met with a skeptical look, that might be the reason why...
bac Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 I hear all the time that a guy is "creepy" for noticing something attractive about a girl. Well, what exactly is creepy about that? If we didn't notice your boobs, or butt, or how attractive you were, we would be gay. Women are so confusing. Being creepy is about excessive behavior and wrong timing. In other words, the dose of your attention should be right/emotionally comfortable for a girl. Look at her to see if she likes it and feel comfortable with your attention. As for timing, pay her attention when she is ready for that (right time and right place).
utterer of lies Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 But how do you show attraction to a girl without being sexual? That's what I don't get. Compliment her on her looks? Wow, that was hard.
utterer of lies Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 Out-and-out compliments always strike me as manipulative, which turns me off... I get that some people respond well to flattery, but if a formulaic "Your (blank) is awesome" is met with a skeptical look, that might be the reason why... You may say this, but in my experience, in real life most girls are really happy to get compliments.
Els Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 My boyfriend wooed me in the beginning by complimenting my intelligence. He remarked on it quite a bit. After a while, I wanted him to compliment my body. But him complimenting my intelligence was incredible. I loved that. Later he admitted a friend coached him on that. Worked on me. Rofl! The bf did this too. Pretty sure no one coached him on it, but not sure whether or not it was a 'strategy' on his part to woo me. Don't think I'll spoil the fun by asking him. OP, some women actually enjoy being whistled at and such. For the rest of us, I think it's about class and subtlety. Classy guys don't ogle and wolf-whistle; they notice without you knowing and pay you compliments when you are dating them.
Els Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 Out-and-out compliments always strike me as manipulative, which turns me off... I get that some people respond well to flattery, but if a formulaic "Your (blank) is awesome" is met with a skeptical look, that might be the reason why... There are ways to give compliments without it sounding like a lame pick-up-technique. Definitely 'Your (blank) is awesome' doesn't cut it.
denise_xo Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 No. In fact, I get more annoyed when a really good looking guy does it. It's like he thinks he's so good looking that he can get away with bad behavior. Ditto. You can give her signals...you can notice without staring...you can smile...look her in the eye...notice things besides just her body. If all you show her is that you're sexually attracted all you're telling her you want is sex...unless that's all she wants to you're not getting anywhere with her cause she wants you to be interested in her personality too. I agree with these sentiments. It's a bit like there's a time and place for everything. Initial compliments that I would be comfortable during 'date like' activities would be things like complimenting eyes/ intelligence/ my outlook on things/ general appearance. The 'nice boobs/butt' kind of thing belongs to a phase when a more general relation has been established and things have moved to become sexual. That doesn't mean that I don't look at a guy during early stages and think to myself 'his [insert whatever body part] is extremely sexy', but in most cases I don't consider that kind of compliment to be suitable early on/ during something like a lunch date.
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