GivenUp0083 Posted May 18, 2011 Posted May 18, 2011 I see others doing this and it seems to be helping others until they get over it, so I'll take a shot at it as well. It's day 15 for me. One of my best college friends called me last night that I hadn't talked to in a while, and of course he asked me "how's the girl?". It isn't very painful for me to talk about her really, it actually feels good to talk about her. I don't find myself bashing her in a traditional hatefilled manner I would think some people would do to their ex's, but it was more of a joking around like "what a nut" kind of bashing. I explained to him how she ruined Liriano's no-hitter for me, but whatever, it is what it is. I feel find when I talk about her and I even fool myself into thinking "hey, maybe I'm already over her", but of course I have my relapse of sadness and loss over her at some point. He mentioned to me it wouldn't be a bad idea to keep my options open with her. He thinks her reasoning is just part of a phase that women go through in their late 20's before they hit reality and that if I stay in her life she'll realize she passed on something great. I can understand his opinion, but I just don't know if that will work. I'm sure it would work out just fine until she introduces me to a new boyfriend. This girl CANT stay single, she's insecure and has never been single for longer than 2 months in the last 8 years. I don't think I could handle seeing that. Relationships aren't valued by her as they are by me. I've realized it would've been a grave mistake to call her. Eventhough I know I will want to do it again most likely, I'm glad many of you convinced me not to, as well as many friends have as well. A guy I don't typically get along with at work yesterday told me he heard what happened and shared his breakup experience that sent him into a 4 month depression and took months of therapy to climb out of. He said the biggest mistake he made was staying in contact with her and said at all costs do not call her. Coming from someone I didn't consider a true friend this helped validate the statement even more. Having an outlet for my thoughts and getting thing off my chest through this thread just may lessen the desire and temptation to call her. Basically, the only true reason I could have for wanting to have a talk would be to see if she changed her mind or if I could fix something that would bring back what we had. I ultimately know now that it has to come from her. There's nothing I can do to remedy this situation, and if I did something wrong, the fact she's not giving me the opportunity to make up for it speaks more about her than it does about me. I'm human, I've made mistakes and I will continue to make mistakes in the future. One thing I have over her is that I value and feel for our relationship more than she did, and I almost feel sorry for her that she's trivialized relationships to where sharing those things don't mean much to her anymore, they're simply "part of the act" of being in a relationship with someone. To me it was special, not just a requirement, and I don't act that way with just anyone. I'd rather be the person that feels something and is more hurt with the loss than someone who doesn't feel for it at all.
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