buranko Posted May 18, 2011 Posted May 18, 2011 ok, just a little update, me and my gf of 4 months broke up, she was sending me mixed signals, kissing me and asking me to hug her etc, when we met up in the days after to talk things out. so i went NC for about 5 days. she called and we talked abt things: she kinda asked me how was i and i brushed it off, den out of politeness, i asked her back. and she told me that she was very unhappy and that she keeps thinking about us. so this was what i said for as best as i could remember - i realise that in a relationship, one should always have respect for one another's decision. although i disagree w your decision but i would respect it as i dont think that you are the sort who would bring up break up even if you feel there are other better ways to solve things. i apologise for looking her up the days after we broke up, told her i wanted to patch becos i lost confidence and was desperate, but now i know that she is not my entire life and that i still can be happy without her. and i spoke about our rls, from her point of view, in the sense, i absolved all blame and just took matters as it was, saying that i failed to understand how she felt and now i did. she replied thanks, and she asked if she would like her to continue to talk to me or stop talking to me. i said, as a matter of fact, i'm still reflecting on our rls. and i urged her to do the same, that we should all list out the postives and take note of the negatives and see again, if all these positives are worth us working thru the kinks in our rls. she replied that she would sleep on it. so now i go back to nc? or do i broach the topic?
samspade Posted May 18, 2011 Posted May 18, 2011 Hey man. Not the worst thing you could have said. It probably shocked her that you were so sober about it - which is good. I recommend you go back to NC though. If you had told me ahead of time you'd say those things, I'd caution against it - but it doesn't sound like you were trying to be vengeful. You sound pretty introspective. You told her you realize she's not your whole life and you can find happiness without her- good for you. Just beware of this -she may try to start things up again only to try to pull the rug out from under you. Maybe you're past that but just watch out. Better to stay NC so you can keep a clear mind and try moving on.
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