Would really like some advice about girl who is confusing me a lot!

[lloydweb]

Hi-new here so please be gentle! This is a bit long so please bear with me;

 

I got divorced 6 years ago, and , other than a couple of dates, have had no interest in women since (I find it far too much effort for too little reward, and something of a sordid pantomime, at times). So I was happily going along on my own ( never joined dating websites/singles bars/nightclubs, anything like that). However, (please bear in mind ALL the following takes place at the gym I go to, either in the gym itself or in the jacuzzi & sauna/swimming pool areas), I am suddenly confused & bemused by this girl at my gym & would like some thoughts.

 

I'm pretty dedicated and go to the gym 6-7 days a week & have a pretty set routine/time of day when I’m there.

 

I saw this new girl a couple of months ago in the gym & didn’t really look at her twice at first, in her baggy tracksuits, etc. However, when I saw her a couple of days later in the jacuzzi in a bikini, my eyes popped out of my head & I couldn’t stop looking at her, as she is TOTALLY gorgeous! Over the next few weeks, it rapidly became obvious that the feeling was mutual, as we couldn’t stop looking at one another and it felt ‘electric’ and very charged.

Meeting at the gym is very difficult, as some weeks we see one another 3-4 times & others once or twice, or not at all. She only works out in the ladies gym so I can only really get to see her in the jacuzzi area.

 

One evening about 4 weeks ago, we were in there, fairly close to one another, when she gave me a long, lingering look like you would not believe & my head nearly came off. Basically, it said ‘come over here and talk to me...NOW!’ So I did.

Next time I looked at the clock, 40 minutes had gone by! We seemed to get on like a house on fire, shook hands, no awkwardness, looking into each others eyes A LOT, finding out about one another. I would have asked her out but I found out 2 things that stopped me; one , she has had a boyfriend for about a year (but seemed somewhat unhappy with him), and, majorly,two, there is a BIG age difference, over 20 years (although exactly how old she thinks I am, I don’t know, as it didn’t stop her coming on to me in the slightest).

So I backed off, didn’t ask for her number or to add me on Facebook ( I don’t use it much anyway). I left it to say, well if you get fed up with your fella & want to talk to an older man again, let me know! At which she smiled & laughed & I said ‘see you round’.

 

Perhaps not surprisingly, it’s since then that the problems have arisen & I find her behaviour very contradictory/annoying/puzzling. She started coming in less & when she did, it was mainly more with her girlfriend. On the two occasions I’ve said ‘Hi’ since, she virtually blanked me & wouldn’t talk & indeed has ignored me. HOWEVER, when she is with her friend, (and still, occasionally, on her own) she has also:

 

surreptitiously watched me get out of my car in the car park, walked in front of me both in the gym, (when her & her friend obviously changed their route so I would see her & she obviously was still checking me out), & in the jacuzzi area, in a new, very skimpy bikini, on several occasions ( laughing & giggling together & with coquettish glances), ie not talking to me but staying well within view & doing all the girly giggling group stuff. I see her/them occasionally noticing me from a distance & saying ‘he’s there’; they even hid behind a pillar once and watched me in the jacuzzi when they thought I couldn’t see them (!)

 

So she seems to be ignoring me, not avoiding me, but will not talk to me! If she was all of a sudden repelled by me for some reason since we talked, surely she wouldn’t put herself next to me in the jacuzzi in a bikini on several occasions (particularly when she could choose to sit anywhere else),and put on all this pantomime?

 

So? Help! Is this girl :

 

Playing me/nuts/an exhibitionist/attention-seeking/tarty/confused/repelled by me/crazy about me/hates me, or what?

 

My immediate thought is to treat her like a child & ignore her & see what happens. Last time I ignored her though (last week), she just came and sat next to me in the jacuzzi with her friend, smiling away to one another.

 

Would appreciate some thoughts! I'm so out of touch with all this but this girl is really gorgeous; just wondering if I'm being played.

Edited May 18, 2011 by lloydweb
title change

[Jazzari]

1. She has a boyfriend

2. She's 20 years younger.

 

Give this one up. I think she's just an immature tease. Some younger hot women enjoy messing with older guys like that.

[lolo1234]

I think she's just looking for attention and enjoying the fact that you are hot for her. She is not repulsed by you otherwise she wouldn't have stared at you or talked to you for that long.

 

What do you want from this girl? Obviously not a relationship right? If you just want to have sex with her you need to come on stronger. It sounds like she might be keen on that. I'm sure some of the guys on here can give you advice for that.

[NoMagicBullet]

I agree with Jazzari and lolo1234. She's playing with you. She enjoys the attention and probably gets a kick out of teasing you. The friend is there as a chaparone, so she can have her fun of you checking her out without her doing anything to upset things with her boyfriend. Avoid her and ignore her as much as possible.

[lloydweb]

Thanks.I do wonder how much longer her boyfriend will last, at this rate! Some of this ties in with what I'm thinking; her behaviour since we chatted clearly hasn't been that of an adult. A woman friend of mine thought she may have felt that I 'rejected' her & the skimpy bikinis & semi-flaunting are her way of showing me what I'm missing.

My ego obviously wants her to still find me hot and I agreed that it's unlikely she would do all this if she thought I was repulsive! She does some of this on her own ( she was flaunting another little bikini only last night!), but she tends to keep a safer distance & won't engage in talk. With her friend, she's much more obviously flaunting.

I'll keep my distance but as we both get a kick out of giving bedroom eyes to one another, I'll keep doing it as long as she does! It may lay foundations for something in the future.......

Any other thoughts? It IS a real buzz though, while it lasts!

[llostboy]

Man alot of guys would kill to be your shoes. I think she's trying to get your attention for a reason. I would play it by ear and keep flirting her up. Enjoy the thrill man.