i23 Posted May 18, 2011 Posted May 18, 2011 My story is fairly typical as far as they come on this. Madly in love for many years, she went cold and I didn't, I downplay it for my own sanity After about 2 months of NC, she just sent me FB message (I deleted her many weeks ago) She asked me how I was and threw in a personal joke just for kicks. Im trying so hard to not respond, yet fear I might. And I know what responding means and what it could do for me. I still love her, But Still hate her. Still think every day about it, and try not to think about what she's doing!. PS Mcgrupps Post helped me heaps to getting where I am now.
Author i23 Posted May 18, 2011 Author Posted May 18, 2011 I also realised that I didnt really ask a question in that last post to anyone. What can I do to put my mind at ease, that ignoring it is really the best thing I can do. I only ask because I am sure my logic is clouded right now.
BlindRage Posted May 18, 2011 Posted May 18, 2011 From my perspective you should leave it in the past. It's not worth opening up a wound no matter now nice the air feels, it'll sting in the end. It's hard but take it as a test of character specially if it ended on a bad note. Eventually you will feel great/strong that you didn't respond.
jonny78 Posted May 18, 2011 Posted May 18, 2011 My friend I was just like you in my earlier days of NC , not wanting that contact but leaving open windows for communication. I am now 100 days NC , as everybody says it does get easier - the main thing is to give up that hope, you left on bad terms, it's over - no matter what happened or who's fault it was , it's over. Go complete NC, block her Facebook, mobile and e-mail - then you won't have these things to think about will you, and you can finally start moving on properly. Sorry if any of that sounds harsh, but that's what I had to do - and it works. Feel better soon
flitzanu Posted May 18, 2011 Posted May 18, 2011 agreed. she doesn't want you to slip too far away, and wants to make sure she can push herself into your mind with an email. replying means you're allowing it. but i feel you bro. i'd die if i hear from my ex at this point.
Author i23 Posted May 19, 2011 Author Posted May 19, 2011 Well, i decided not to message her back. TO MY HORROR, I was with some friends last night, and I had a call from a private number, It was her. Ended up talking for 20 minutes, and told her I dont want to speak to her for many years to come, I don't want to know her anymore. Now today I get home to find of all things a friend request. I know I have to ignore it. Im so ready to move on. I still love her madly, but cant stand the thought of having her in my life in any capacity other than what we had. This place has helped me alot, I barely felt a thing. Although Im a little worried that the only reason I feel so little is because Ive spent the last 3 months TELLING myself not to... Who knows.... Time will tell.
Frank13 Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 What did you talk about for 20 minutes? It shouldn't have taken that long for you to tell her you don't want to speak to her for many years to come. That's why you got the freind request. Your actions aren't matchiung your words. By the way, I never answer calls that I don't recognize the number.
Renard99 Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 What did you talk about for 20 minutes? It shouldn't have taken that long for you to tell her you don't want to speak to her for many years to come. That's why you got the freind request. Your actions aren't matchiung your words. By the way, I never answer calls that I don't recognize the number. I agree with Frank. I did the same thing the last time I spoke to my ex when we met up to close a joint bank account. Whilst waiting she struck up some small talk and I stupidly engaged in it. I realised afterwards that the way she suddenly lit up was the same way she did with her other friends. She suddenly got a whiff of 'friend zone' and persued it even though I'd said that it wasn't a possibility because I still love her. It's all because I didn't maintain my aim of going NC, then LC for this meet, then back to NC immediately after. I used to never answer numbers I don't recognise too but that was until I ignored a call from an unknown number that was actually an emergency.
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