Rinnix Posted May 18, 2011 Posted May 18, 2011 When you're dating, how important is are appearances to you? Whether it's great hygiene, expensive clothing, perfect facial symmetry, a fit body, etc. Do you want your partner to be above average to others, or do they just need to look great in your eyes? Would you be ashamed to show them off if a friend or family member thought the opposite of them? Do you set the same expectations for yourself? Are you really into your appearance? How much? Lets not forget that inner beauty is the most important of all, and that it shine's through. This does tie in with the above.
Author Rinnix Posted May 18, 2011 Author Posted May 18, 2011 Natalie Portman, no less. All that matters to me is that they take care of themselves, good hygiene is a must! I don't care for brand names or fancy accessories. It is important for me to have some attraction towards them (no need to look like they're out of a magazine.), and they need to have a great character.
habbrown Posted May 18, 2011 Posted May 18, 2011 Whenever you are going for dating, appearance matters most. Your clothing style, physic look, etc. The appearance attracts your partner towards you and appearance is most important for dating. dating
thatdog Posted May 18, 2011 Posted May 18, 2011 I've dated a couple of girls whose looks or personality my friends did comment negatively on and it did affect me. It's pretty depressing when this happens. However I think it is more likely that as my friends comments affected me like this it was important as it made me consider why I was dating the girl in the first place. If I wasn't happy defending ANY aspect of her to my friends then I obviously didn;t feel that much for them in the first place. I've dated other girls that my friends haven't approved on for whatever reason and defended them vehemently.
one goal Posted May 18, 2011 Posted May 18, 2011 Looks are VERY important to me. NUmber one thing in a girl.
thatdog Posted May 18, 2011 Posted May 18, 2011 Looks are VERY important to me. NUmber one thing in a girl. hence why you still don't have a GF
Author Rinnix Posted May 18, 2011 Author Posted May 18, 2011 I've dated a couple of girls whose looks or personality my friends did comment negatively on and it did affect me. It's pretty depressing when this happens. However I think it is more likely that as my friends comments affected me like this it was important as it made me consider why I was dating the girl in the first place. If I wasn't happy defending ANY aspect of her to my friends then I obviously didn;t feel that much for them in the first place. I've dated other girls that my friends haven't approved on for whatever reason and defended them vehemently. I never let my friends decide who I date. Even if they thought my partner was unappealing, it wouldn't give me reason to leave. I'm the one dating the guy after all.
Ginger Beer Posted May 18, 2011 Posted May 18, 2011 I am just drawn to some girls and not others. They don't have to be Playboy types, maybe it's because of how they act. Weird.
thatone Posted May 18, 2011 Posted May 18, 2011 When you're dating, how important is are appearances to you? Whether it's great hygiene, expensive clothing, perfect facial symmetry, a fit body, etc. Do you want your partner to be above average to others, or do they just need to look great in your eyes? Would you be ashamed to show them off if a friend or family member thought the opposite of them? Do you set the same expectations for yourself? Are you really into your appearance? How much? Lets not forget that inner beauty is the most important of all, and that it shine's through. This does tie in with the above. what is attractive to me as a man varies an awful lot, and i suspect a lot of women, particularly younger women, don't realize this is true for a very high number of men. ideally, i could lose 30 to 40 pounds. i'm about that much higher than i was when i got out of high school. i'm perfectly fine with women who are in that same range. in fact, slightly overweight women who carry that weight in the hips and chest look better to me than overly thin women do. marilyn monroe > natalie portman. yeah, i spend the money on tailored clothes to improve that image a bit on myself, and keep myself on a diet well enough to maintain. i don't go to the gym and work out, i have a pool so i swim here and there in the warm months, that's about it. i would never go on a first date without a suit on, even in the hot summer months here in the south i'll wear the jacket on the first. hygiene, clothing, and face go a long way with me. many physical flaws to my eyes can be erased by wearing clothes, hair, and makeup well. on the other hand, doing those things badly is the opposite impression. a woman with no apparent knowledge of fashion or social grace in what they wear and how appropriate it is for where they are suggests shallow/ignorant to me. i don't really care what other people think if i find someone attractive. that would include family members and friends. i guess i would say as a man i'm an equal-ist. i'm not thin, and not muscular, and since i'm coming up on middle age probably never will be. that said, my chest measurement does stay larger than my waist measurement , and i dress well. as long as women do the same, they're a prospect in my eyes.
thatdog Posted May 18, 2011 Posted May 18, 2011 I never let my friends decide who I date. Even if they thought my partner was unappealing, it wouldn't give me reason to leave. I'm the one dating the guy after all. And neither do I. The point is if your friends criticise the person you are dating and instead of defending them you either agree or start to second guess yourself, then you have to wonder why you are dating that person in the first place. I'm sure anyone who has had reasonable experience in dating have been with a few people that they kind of just 'fell in with' for whatever reason. In these cases the relationship is usually shortlived because you soon realize you are not with that person because you have real feelings for them but rather because you were lonely/frustrated/insecure/depressed/etc and just felt the need for someone. Better to wise up quickly than to string them along for several months. If your friends help you come to that realisation faster then so be it.
Eeyore79 Posted May 18, 2011 Posted May 18, 2011 Obviously hygiene is important, and so is style - I prefer a guy who dresses smartly and looks somewhat intellectual and refined, not a guy who dresses in gold jewelry and jogging pants, and not a guy who has no fashion sense at all. When it comes to physical looks I'm less picky; I'm more concerned about the image he projects than what his body/face looks like. Obviously I draw the line if he's obese or hideous, but as long as he's fairly average looking that's good enough.
Jynxx Posted May 18, 2011 Posted May 18, 2011 As analytical as I am in most parts of life, I really can't predict myself when it comes to partner choice. I guess some balanced sum of qualities must be above average for me to like someone as a partner, but I don't really know how important every factor is. So will need to pass on the question.
Nexus One Posted May 18, 2011 Posted May 18, 2011 (edited) When you're dating, how important is are appearances to you? Whether it's great hygiene, expensive clothing, perfect facial symmetry, a fit body, etc. Do you want your partner to be above average to others, or do they just need to look great in your eyes? Would you be ashamed to show them off if a friend or family member thought the opposite of them? Do you set the same expectations for yourself? Are you really into your appearance? How much? Lets not forget that inner beauty is the most important of all, and that it shine's through. This does tie in with the above. Appearance: I'd be a liar if I said it's not the first thing men look at, including myself. But appearance is not enough for me to develop a crush. Although I have at very rare occasions seen women that were facially and physically so beautiful, that it wouldn't have taken them a whole lot of effort to have me develop a crush on them. As long as they would be kind and have a happy/positive/optimistic personality, then that would have dragged me over the line. Expensive clothing: Not a nessecity for me at all. Most of the time the women I like wear clothes that seem casual, although you'd be surprised how much it can sometimes cost to go for a particular casual look. However the very same women also tend to be fashionista's at times, so they dress down to earth at times, but they often certainly also have a good taste for fashion. Do I hold myself up to the same standard? Well most of the time I wear casual, but I've worn casual since my high school days and I never gave anything about fashion, I don't even like shopping, it's torture. However since I've noticed that the women I like tend to put in the effort I now put in the effort too. (equality) Facial symmetry: I hear women mention this a lot. What guys want though is a beautiful face, but they don't necessarily think in terms of symmetry about it. On several occasions I've been told by the opposite gender that I have a symmetrical face. The remark kind of annoyed me, because I thought, what am I a mathematical geometric object to you? But I read somewhere that women tend to appreciate symmetry in men's faces. A fit body: I tend to fall for women that have the body type of Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis. Which can be described as slender and petite I think. It's not every guy's cup of tea, but it is mine. I don't know why I prefer that body type over a curvy body, but I think it's the subtle yet defined muscle transitions and better visible bone structures that appeal to me, it makes the body look more sophisticated for some reason. Do I hold myself up to the same standard? I look at how much I eat and I work out. I have a vacation planned this month to the Alps of Austria where I'm going to mountain hike and run/jog. I also do fitness at home, push-ups, sit-ups/crunches, work out with dumbbells. I wouldn't say I'm ripped, although I might be in a year, but I have an athletic build. Do they need to look great to others or just me: I would be happy if they'd just looked great to me. My male friends for example do not seem to be attracted to women like Natalie Portman, Mila Kunis, Emma Stone and Natalie Imbruglia. They tend to go for more curvy women. I often hear "I don't see the appeal in the women you like". I think the reason for this is that they look at it from merely a sexual point of view and with that I mean their raw biological/reproductive instinct, I do too don't me wrong, but I factor in more variables like personality, intelligence, my taste for aesthetics, etc. I'm actually surprised that a lot of guys don't seem to do that, many of them do, don't get me wrong, but a lot of guys don't. Would you be ashamed to show them off if a friend or family member thought the opposite of them?: No. I wouldn't care. I want to pick a mate because I(and her) will be happy. If someone doesn't find them appealing, then that is their problem. As long as I like her, then I don't care what others think. Lets not forget that inner beauty is the most important of all, and that it shine's through. This does tie in with the above: Absolutely. I've noticed over the years that personality has become more and more important to me, but that doesn't mean facial and physical beauty declined in rank. If she doesn't have a personality I'm attracted to, then I can't develop a crush. I also find it more important now, because beauty fades and I want us both to be still happy when we've become old and wrinkly. So when looking for a girlfriend I definitely look at women with that in mind. Edited May 18, 2011 by Nexus One
tb24 Posted May 18, 2011 Posted May 18, 2011 I'll be honest. Looks are important. If there's no attraction there I'm not going to date someone. What's the point? I date with the intention of it leading to a romantic/sexual relationship. A pretty face is way more important than a perfect body to me, though. Saying that, the attraction doesn't have to be instant lust but she has to be nice to look at. Although my taste in women generally doesn't match my friends. I introduced them to my new girlfriend who I think is amazingly attractive and they said "She's alright". Meh, doesn't bother me, I think she's incredibly hot.
tigressA Posted May 18, 2011 Posted May 18, 2011 (edited) When you're dating, how important are appearances to you? Whether it's great hygiene, expensive clothing, perfect facial symmetry, a fit body, etc. Hygiene is important. Style is important, not so much the clothing itself. Facial symmetry is important. A nice body is important--I prefer certain builds. They don't have to be "fit" but they have to at least be lean/trim. I am not at all attracted to chubby/overweight guys. Also definitely not into the bodybuilder/gym rat type. Do you want your partner to be above average to others, or do they just need to look great in your eyes? They just need to look great to me. I will say it is a bit of a boost when my friends/family/others say they think my SO is good-looking. This doesn't usually happen with my friends because we have quite differing tastes. Would you be ashamed to show them off if a friend or family member thought the opposite of them? H*ll no! Do you set the same expectations for yourself? Are you really into your appearance? How much? Yes, I certainly do. I am fairly into my appearance. I like to keep myself as naturally attractive as possible (I don't like makeup), so that means putting a lot into skin-, hair- and dental care. I frequently get nice comments on my sense of style as well. Lets not forget that inner beauty is the most important of all, and that it shine's through. This does tie in with the above. I am admittedly still rather shallow. If I am not intensely physically attracted to someone right off, I am usually not interested in getting to know them better as a romantic prospect--and if I am intensely physically attracted, I'm less likely to pay attention to major red flags. My last ex is an example of this. Also, if I am more ambivalent about how attracted I am to someone, I am less likely to stay faithful to them. Meeting someone, feeling "eh" about them in terms of attraction and then having their personality win me over has happened, but it has not enabled me to stay faithful and I doubt it ever would. My long-term ex is an example of this. I am extremely lucky in having found my current BF as he meets my standards. Edited May 18, 2011 by tigressA
somedude81 Posted May 18, 2011 Posted May 18, 2011 The most important to me is for her to be weight proportionate and have a cute/pretty face. Decent sized breasts are also necessary. And I'm not talking about model quality looks. Of course hygiene is important. She can't be dirty or smell, that's just basic. At the stage I'm at now (single), make-up, fancy clothes and a really fit body just aren't necessary. I just want a girl whose cute and fun to be with.
Pyro Posted May 18, 2011 Posted May 18, 2011 I'll be honest. Looks are important. If there's no attraction there I'm not going to date someone. What's the point? I date with the intention of it leading to a romantic/sexual relationship. A pretty face is way more important than a perfect body to me, though. My feelings as well. I will say that she can be the best looking gal in existence but if she has any ugliness on the inside then I want nothing to do with her.
Darren Taylor Posted May 18, 2011 Posted May 18, 2011 Appearance is more important than most are willing to admit. You don't have to look like Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie, but you have to find the person attractive.
nyc_guy2003 Posted May 18, 2011 Posted May 18, 2011 If we are just talking physical aspects then appearance is most definitely important. This sounds ridiculously self-serving, but if I was single now I generally would not date anyone who I would consider beneath my league appearance-wise or in lower social standing. In addition to considering my own attraction to her, I work in an industry where you are judged by the attractiveness and social standing of your spouse/girlfriend as well. So yes from a physical standpoint I am quite shallow, thanks very much.
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