dharris27 Posted May 18, 2011 Posted May 18, 2011 (edited) So, I'm gonna try and make this as short as possible. I dated a guy for a year and a half in my home town. My home town is super small and everyone knows each other. So, I'd known this guy for a while and never thought much till one day it dawned on me he was pretty awesome and I'd like to at least try and date him. After a couple months of making out and just hanging out as friends I got wind that he wanted to stick around. From that day forward he and I pretty much spent all of our free time together, and definitely every night together at my house. (His apt was across the street.) The relationship was super peaceful and well going. He was a pretty great boyfriend aside from some over-lookable flaws. However, I felt he was still kind of young acting at his age (28), more like a teenage boy some times—just in maturity on certain levels. Anyhow, I was super attracted to him and really admired him but I there were certain things about him that bummed me out and knew I wouldn't want in a life long partner. One of these things is, he was born and raised in our hometown and never wants to leave. He even went college there. He's too close to his family if you ask me and even said he would freak out if he left for more than three weeks. I found this all out when I got offered a job across the country. I knew he was a man of comfort and small town pleasures, but my god. I didn't blame him, however. We hadn't been dating that long nor do I think anyone should change their path for another person unless they want to. So, we kind of ignored the fact I was leaving until the very end. (3 months it took me to get ready and get out here.) He came out with me and even our goodbye was dry and emotionless. We just didn't acknowledge anything. (Neither of us interested in a long distance relationship.) So, we talked all the time on chat and when I came home two months later we were attached at the hip again. We slept together and it seemed all in fun. About two months after I came home I noticed this girl who had a crush on him was being incredibly attention seeking all over his facebook and eventually I gathered maybe they were kind of hanging out. Honestly, so honestly, I knew my emotions for him were dull and I needed to move on and it didn't even bother me at first. Not until the drama started... Problem is, the guy was still talking to me constantly, kind of avoiding her online, and sending me Valentine's gifts. SO, I wrote him a letter and said hey...I didn't expect the Valentine's gift, we're just friends AND you're clearly hanging out with some other girl. (This girl turns out to be one of my least favorite people (obnoxious, attention seeking, and she's not even attractive!)) Oh well I though, his rebound doesn't make me fell like "less than" at least. He writes back and says that he'd never actually told me he was still in love with me and that even though he was "hanging out" with her she knew that he was still in love with me and that if I ever came back he'd want to be with me, undoubtly. Nice and all, but who's this girl who can hear this and still sleep with someone? I was pissed because he was being ridiculous, dragging me through a prolonged breakup AND incorporating me into his rebound relationship. I called him on his **** and we fought and eventually talked about if there were any long distance way to make this work. We settled again on no. I decided to try and be distant with him for a while because obviously it wasn't healthy any more. I started dating and eventually met a really great guy who I fell for pretty hard immediately. In the mean time this girl decides to move to france out of the blue and my ex contacts me a total mess saying he can't believe this is happening again. I honestly couldn't imagine she'd kept dating him after hearing him pour his heart out about me?!! The weird thing was, it was her leaving that decided to emotionally act out on. To cry about! Not his long term ex. UGH. It made me so mad. They'd barely even dated! He told me it was a combination of me and her he was upset about but once again, I knew this guy was a mess and I was seeing someone so I went ahead and told him. After that I removed myself entirely from contacting him. If he chats me I give one word answers and sign off fast. I'm aiming to protect my new romance and myself from any more of his crap. Since then, his facebook wall is blown up with grief over JESSICA (the girl) leaving and he knows I can see it. I can also see her wall and he's all over that blowing it up too. I dunno, I just feel like it's a messy situation. BUT I'm having a hard time not yelling at him about treating her like she gave him so much when all she did was save him from being lonely for five mins. It just feels unfair. Really, I need to drop it and face my new situation but it's hard. I'm just so aggravated. Any advice? Edited May 18, 2011 by dharris27
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