Men Find Frugal Women Sexy, Study Says

[thatone]

And in my experience, that appreciation is best done with a sincere, heartfelt "thank you," not a tit-for-tat or splitting of expenses.

 

your experience is correct. men who aren't broke like paying for dates, that's what we're supposed to do. there's no excuse for expecting women to help pay for dates, period.

[Titania22]

where do you live again?

 

seriously though, i agree on the people with little trying to look like they have a lot, i see that too.

 

the opposite of that is another good rule for business purposes, be wary of the guy sitting in the biggest office behind the best desk in plain clothes, he's smart enough to be doing something right, and that plain look is part of his game to get people to underestimate him. when everyone else comes and goes, he'll be the last one standing. if you hit it off with that guy you have something worth a little effort, he's a born winner.

 

one of the smartest guys i ever met with was a guy who ran a small town farmer's bank, who went to work in boots, jeans, and a polo shirt every day. every time you saw him he'd interrupt your first line of conversation and say "i'm poor and broke and ain't got no money for no deals" just like that, slang and all. but what you didn't know until you got his trust was that song and dance was just to ward off scheisters, he knew more about whatever business you were trying to borrow money for than you did. he had about a dozen 'spies' around the region in all other sorts of businesses that would feed him information about people such as how fast they paid their bills, if they ever tried to screw people over on contracts, if you went to the bars and drank too much, if anyone ever saw you at the horse track gambling, etc. he probably never had a bad loan in 30 years, and last i heard had retired a very wealthy man.

 

if one of them ever asked to put debt in your name, run fast. he's sinking and looking for someone to buy him another few months before he hits bottom. if you want the truth from a wealthier man after a few dates, when money discussion comes up ask him what kinda net worth he's talking about, that's the bottom line. he could very well have millions in debt, and be perfectly fine, as long as he has more millions in assets and plenty of cash flow to cover the debt.

 

Yeah, without realising it I had a similar thing going on when I was 18-19yrs old. Guys always assumed I was a dumb blonde (because i was blonde and acted dumb), but I am actually really smart (took me a few years to figure it out), and what i found is guys thinking i was dumb, didn't try to hard with their come ons, and therefore I could see right through there lame seduction attempts.

 

What you descibed, reminded me of the old movie How to Marry a Millionaire. The millionaire turned out to be the one that wore ordinary clothes and took her for a date to a hamburger stand. I love those sort of things, and I would be the same if i were a millionaire, because i would rather someone love me for me and not how much money i have.

[Tayla]

More men handle banking- (finances), More guys are accountants, Yet we sit and say "men cant really budget or handle money", I beg to differ. Most Corporate executives got there because they DID know how to manage a budget slash corners and invest properly. As to Ladies, I have met my share who think nothing of blowing $150-300 on a pair of jeans, yet can't balance a check book or know how to stay out of debt. I never begrudge a lady who tends to her real assets which will grace her thru to old age, I've yet to see a pair of jeans or high heels do that though....go figure.

 

I sincerely beleive such generalizations in either direction discount the "persons" who have succeeded in budgetary ways. Be they male or female.

 

I'm an avid dutch-treater yet I doubt its gained any more fan fair of suitors, I think more goes into finding a sincere date then the wallet or how one manages the funds.....

[alethean]

I think there are all levels of money that can be spent on beautification. I generally expect what I put in from a woman as well. I have a closet full of calvin klein, nautica, levis, lucky brand, as well as generics. I usually don't spend more than $25 on a single clothing item (shoes, jackets, suits can be an exception though they have been included) and look for good sales. Nobody but brand whores have ever complained that I don't look good. In fact, I usually get compliments on being well put together. I am more of a t-shirt and jeans guy and I prefer the same in a girl as I have come to find out after dating all types. I prefer a girl with light make-up. In fact, those girls usually look more attractive in the morning that the heavily made up ones. As for hair, I like straight hair, but like curls and have even been attracted to afros and such. Whatever looks good and is easily maintained works for me.The best fashion accessory I have found is a fit body. As a former personal trainer, I promise you that you can work out anywhere (I go to Planet Fitness for $10/mth or work out at home).

 

I have to say, you're my type of man.

 

My experience with buying beauty is that it has never worked for me personally. I will admit that there are those who buy all the extras to adhere to the mainstream ideal of beauty and do it well. But I was never comfortable with "blending," and the year I accepted this was the year I started attracting men in larger doses. I remember one night out after I had stopped chemically straightening my hair and happened to wear my glasses instead of contacts and had guys flirting with me nonstop.

 

On the topic at hand, I do value frugality in people (or as I like to call it, resourcefulness). I like people who know how to look well put together for less money, or who know how to have a great time without spending too much. People say I am a lot like my dad because we are both averse to spending money. I wouldn't mind it if any future interest of mine were resourceful. If that money you don't spend on clothes is going into something like a house or future schooling or something, then keep buying those clothes on sale!

[Feelsgoodman]

It's great that you think so. I find many guys are attracted to long, smooth hair ($200 for treatments and chemical straightening and styling, at least), large smoky eyes (full set of makeup, perhaps $100?), clean-shaven pubes ($70 bikini wax), etc, without knowing exactly what goes into them.

 

I lived very frugally for the past 6 months, spending only $150 a week. During that time, I only bought 4 items of clothing, a winter coat because I didn't have one, a pair of sneakers to replace the only one I had which was falling apart, and two $10 t-shirts. I would NEVER have bought a good pair of heels (and cheap ones are horrible for your feet, period), or a makeup set (I could be replacing my 5-year old phone with that money!), or a good dress, when the money could be spent in better ways. Spending on beauty is completely contradictory to frugality, when it brings no other benefits. At least if you spend on a small car you get to use it, and if you spend on food you get to eat it.

 

Can most guys handle that sort of frugality? I doubt so.

I love how you see everything in absolutes! I guess there's no middle ground in your black and white world, huh? It's either blowing $500 on hair styling, make up an bikini wax every week or wearing smelly old snickers and $10 T-shirts?

 

There is no question that woman has to spend some money to take care of her appearance. There is nothing more unattractive than a woman who neglects her appearance. On the other hand, you don't need to blow ridiculous amounts of money on it either.

 

I could care less how many pairs of shoes or evening dresses my girl owns. I don't care if her handbag is made by Louis Vuitton or some random guy in China. I could care less if she has the latest iphone. I could care less is she blows her money going out to clubs with her girlfriends every weekend to get drunk and take a bunch of stupid pictures and then post them on facebook (actually, I take that back - I do care about that, as I would NOT want to date a club rat).

 

It's not like you have to be rich to maintain a pleasant, sexually attractive appearance. Besides, it all balances out, as guys also have to spend money on themselves to be attractive to women. Guys are more likely to own a car (many women would not date a guy without a car) and get their own place at an earlier age (hard to bring girls to your parents' house).

[Sanman]

I have to say, you're my type of man.

 

My experience with buying beauty is that it has never worked for me personally. I will admit that there are those who buy all the extras to adhere to the mainstream ideal of beauty and do it well. But I was never comfortable with "blending," and the year I accepted this was the year I started attracting men in larger doses. I remember one night out after I had stopped chemically straightening my hair and happened to wear my glasses instead of contacts and had guys flirting with me nonstop.

 

On the topic at hand, I do value frugality in people (or as I like to call it, resourcefulness). I like people who know how to look well put together for less money, or who know how to have a great time without spending too much. People say I am a lot like my dad because we are both averse to spending money. I wouldn't mind it if any future interest of mine were resourceful. If that money you don't spend on clothes is going into something like a house or future schooling or something, then keep buying those clothes on sale!

 

Aww, thanks Alethean!

 

My view of things is bigger than this. I would rather spend the money I earn on the things that truly make me happier and wise investments. I hope to perhaps save for some investment properties or other investments that will allow me to enjoy life as I get older, allow me more time to spend with loved ones, and to help provide for my future family as needed in addition to my professional income. That said I love working on classic cars and traveling and will spend money on things that make me happy. I would never begrudge a spouse of such things either. I do, however, believe there are many more important things in life than the label on my clothing. I would hope my future spouse would feel the same way as well.

Edited May 19, 2011 by Sanman

[thatone]

Yeah, without realising it I had a similar thing going on when I was 18-19yrs old. Guys always assumed I was a dumb blonde (because i was blonde and acted dumb), but I am actually really smart (took me a few years to figure it out), and what i found is guys thinking i was dumb, didn't try to hard with their come ons, and therefore I could see right through there lame seduction attempts.

 

What you descibed, reminded me of the old movie How to Marry a Millionaire. The millionaire turned out to be the one that wore ordinary clothes and took her for a date to a hamburger stand. I love those sort of things, and I would be the same if i were a millionaire, because i would rather someone love me for me and not how much money i have.

 

never saw the movie, but in many cases it's true, i've met quite a few of those people over the years.

 

they're out there, never can tell, might run into one someday.

[musemaj11]

I love those sort of things, and I would be the same if i were a millionaire, because i would rather someone love me for me and not how much money i have.

Whats funny is when women say that they would rather be judged by their money than by their looks.

 

Women who say this are obviously women who have no clue how it feels to be judged only by your financial status.

 

Being judged by your physical attractiveness is not pretty either. But I would rather have someone with me because she finds me handsome than having someone with me just so she can get to have me spend money on her.

 

On the topic at hand, I do value frugality in people (or as I like to call it, resourcefulness). I like people who know how to look well put together for less money, or who know how to have a great time without spending too much. People say I am a lot like my dad because we are both averse to spending money

I think how someone handles money has a lot to do with upbringing. My mother is very frugal so I guess I learned from her.

 

your experience is correct. men who aren't broke like paying for dates, that's what we're supposed to do. there's no excuse for expecting women to help pay for dates, period.

Im not supposed to do anything.

 

No one has the right to expect me to pay just like I dont have the right to expect any woman to have sex with me. But if I invite a guest, I will politely offer to treat her.

 

More men handle banking- (finances), More guys are accountants, Yet we sit and say "men cant really budget or handle money", I beg to differ. Most Corporate executives got there because they DID know how to manage a budget slash corners and invest properly. As to Ladies, I have met my share who think nothing of blowing $150-300 on a pair of jeans, yet can't balance a check book or know how to stay out of debt. I never begrudge a lady who tends to her real assets which will grace her thru to old age, I've yet to see a pair of jeans or high heels do that though....go figure.

Of course men are usually better at finance.

 

As I said, the stereotype that women are better at managing household finances was born because normally when men married, they became lazy and expected their wives to take care of everything for them.

 

I'm an avid dutch-treater yet I doubt its gained any more fan fair of suitors, I think more goes into finding a sincere date then the wallet or how one manages the funds.....

Men are more touched for example by a woman who suggests that they go somewhere cheap for a date even if the man has to pay for all of it than if they go on an expensive date and the woman pays half. It just makes us feel like, "Aww, she is trying to save me money. She cares about me. I bet she will make a good wife." Edited May 19, 2011 by musemaj11

[thatone]

honestly in this day and age, at least in the USA, with women being more successful in their careers in their late 20s, the only thing more money really buys you is confidence. not to say that isn't a good thing, a little more confidence can go a long way. but i find that sane, rational people typically learn in their 30s that money only goes so far. i guess it's because in your mid 30s you start to get a firmer grasp of how much money you will feasibly earn over your lifetime. time is catching you a bit, and when you start making plans for 10 and 20 years away, you realize that the end of that 20 years is gonna be your last good run. you get over grand plans of conquering the world that you had in college and get down to realistic expectations. when you can say with confidence what you're doing, where you're going, and how you're gonna get there, that translates into confidence with women too.

 

maybe it's different for the young billionaires out there like bill gates who stumbled into something that took off into a huge venture, but i'm a pauper compared to those guys so can only speak for my thoughts about the matter .

Edited May 19, 2011 by thatone

[Titania22]

Whats funny is when women say that they would rather be judged by their money than by their looks.

 

I would rather be loved and not judged.

 

Men are more touched for example by a woman who suggests that they go somewhere cheap for a date even if the man has to pay for all of it than if they go on an expensive date and the woman pays half. It just makes us feel like, "Aww, she is trying to save me money. She cares about me. I bet she will make a good wife."

 

I always care about people in general making good choices with money. I don't stick my nose into their business, but I will always stear people to make more responsible choices.

 

I don't know of any restaurants that can give a better tasting meal then the $6.50 lunch special at the thai place down the road, and on weekdays they do a free dessert.

 

Of course if a guy really wants to splash out, i know a half dozen chocolateria's we could visit for dessert. The way I see it, if you are going to spend money, you may as well spend it on the right things.

[thatone]

 

Of course men are usually better at finance.

 

men are better at negotiation, because they are emotionless about it. some women are this way too. we have a female attorney in our business who is that way, but admittedly, fewer women are. i think it's because women aren't used to having to compromise from a position of "no", lol. but i can tell that attorney of ours "no" and this is why, and she will figure out a solution.

 

Men are more touched for example by a woman who suggests that they go somewhere cheap for a date even if the man has to pay for all of it

 

honestly, i'm not. the whole point of dating is getting to know the other person. since men typically choose the restaurant for first dates, i'm gonna choose one that i go to anyway (considering what type of food she prefers, of course), and it'll probably be on the expensive side rather than the cheap side, and yeah i'm gonna pay for it.

 

that's me, that's who i am. what's the point of pretending to like applebees or chilis when i don't? it would be a farce. if we wind up in a relationship we're not gonna be spending time in those types of places. it'll be hole in the wall places with good food when we're in tshirt/jeans moods, and higher end places when we want something nicer, with nothing much in between.

 

and if she's uncomfortable with that and assumes that i'm trying to buy her, i simply explain that reasoning.

[Star Gazer]

your experience is correct. men who aren't broke like paying for dates, that's what we're supposed to do. there's no excuse for expecting women to help pay for dates, period.

 

Such a smart man. I bet you have little trouble with the ladies.

[thatone]

Such a smart man. I bet you have little trouble with the ladies.

 

i dunno there's always something!

 

my last relationship was short lived, so i've been dating again for about two months now. the one i'm talking back and forth with for this friday is a starving artist type, and seems completely intimidated by me, despite my assurances that she has nothing to worry about and nothing to prove to me.

 

it's not like i'm freakin' brad pitt, ya know? i'm a mildly overweight (almost) middle aged man with a few extra bucks, that's all.

[Sanman]

honestly, i'm not. the whole point of dating is getting to know the other person. since men typically choose the restaurant for first dates, i'm gonna choose one that i go to anyway (considering what type of food she prefers, of course), and it'll probably be on the expensive side rather than the cheap side, and yeah i'm gonna pay for it.

 

that's me, that's who i am. what's the point of pretending to like applebees or chilis when i don't? it would be a farce. if we wind up in a relationship we're not gonna be spending time in those types of places. it'll be hole in the wall places with good food when we're in tshirt/jeans moods, and higher end places when we want something nicer, with nothing much in between.

 

and if she's uncomfortable with that and assumes that i'm trying to buy her, i simply explain that reasoning.

 

 

That is why I prefer to take a woman to those hole in the wall places in a t-shirt and jeans because it is where I enjoy myself most of the time.

[musemaj11]

honestly, i'm not. the whole point of dating is getting to know the other person. since men typically choose the restaurant for first dates, i'm gonna choose one that i go to anyway (considering what type of food she prefers, of course), and it'll probably be on the expensive side rather than the cheap side, and yeah i'm gonna pay for it.

 

that's me, that's who i am. what's the point of pretending to like applebees or chilis when i don't? it would be a farce. if we wind up in a relationship we're not gonna be spending time in those types of places. it'll be hole in the wall places with good food when we're in tshirt/jeans moods, and higher end places when we want something nicer, with nothing much in between.

 

and if she's uncomfortable with that and assumes that i'm trying to buy her, i simply explain that reasoning.

Just because a woman suggests that we go to a free fair instead of going to Cheesecake Factory for example, doesnt mean I will go to the fair when I feel like going to Cheesecake Factory. Im just saying that its nice when a woman lets me know that she doesnt care where we go as long as we spend a good time. Unfortunately, most women arent like that.

[thatone]

That is why I prefer to take a woman to those hole in the wall places in a t-shirt and jeans because it is where I enjoy myself most of the time.

 

i love those types of places too, honestly. but i'm from louisiana originally so it kinda comes with the territory i guess, you can make your life's work finding and evaluating new hole in the wall restaurants down there .

[musemaj11]

Such a smart man. I bet you have little trouble with the ladies.

Yea, the ladies who want his money.

 

I bet a lot of men also love women who believe its their job to give men sex whenever they want.

 

it's not like i'm freakin' brad pitt, ya know? i'm a mildly overweight (almost) middle aged man with a few extra bucks, that's all.

No offense, but I guess you have a reason to use your extra bucks to make up for something.

 

If you looked like Brad Pitt, I bet your view would change dramatically.

Edited May 19, 2011 by musemaj11

[milkmaterial]

musemaj..do you get laid?

[musemaj11]

musemaj..do you get laid?

Once in a while although not often mainly because unless I find someone has a compatible character I feel repulsed by her even if she is attractive. Anyway how is this question relevant?

Edited May 19, 2011 by musemaj11

[Sanman]

Oh god, are we really getting into another 'who pays for a date' debates?

[milkmaterial]

just seems to me that when i see your name post something it just strikes a negative chord inside me, like, it makes me feel bad, for being a woman, when not all women are like it. i dont see a lot of posters here flaming men (altho there are some)but the posters flaming women are harsh.

 

so u live in socal where there are lots of beautiful women, and you wouldnt consider dating an ordinary looking woman you really want an attractive one. i consider myself "average" in looks but i can get a handsome man altho i would prefer to prioritize compatibility over anything else, even money or financial status. you want a beautiful woman and you know they are hard to come by, and most of the "attractive" ones spend a lot of money on clothes, bags, makeup, workouts, boob job, nose job, why would they want to get a poor/broke guy?

 

i was just looking at my make up the other day and it is more expensive than the food i eat. i dont whine or complain, but all i am saying is if you want a model, you gotta be "prepared" for it. dont be bitter because this is your preference and your preference doesnt really seem realistic.

 

these beautiful attractive woman, take out the fake eyelashes, the expensive makeup, the manicure/pedicure, the work out, the nice clothes = you get an average woman.

 

ive paid for a man in my life, ive paid for his food, ive paid for dates, paid for gas, but i really consider myself average in looks. what more if the woman had 10 men following her, she has 10 guys to choose from..

 

money really makes everything a LOT easier....

 

same as george clooney or even justin timberlake...gorgeous men prefer gorgeous women. i dont ever see gorgeous men like brad pitt settle for a homely plain jane face.

Edited May 19, 2011 by milkmaterial

[musemaj11]

just seems to me that when i see your name post something it just strikes a negative chord inside me, like, it makes me feel bad, for being a woman, when not all women are like it. i dont see a lot of posters here flaming men (altho there are some)but the posters flaming women are harsh.

 

so u live in socal where there are lots of beautiful women, and you wouldnt consider dating an ordinary looking woman you really want an attractive one. i consider myself "average" in looks but i can get a handsome man altho i would prefer to prioritize compatibility over anything else, even money or financial status. you want a beautiful woman and you know they are hard to come by, and most of the "attractive" ones spend a lot of money on clothes, bags, makeup, workouts, boob job, nose job, why would they want to get a poor/broke guy?

 

i was just looking at my make up the other day and it is more expensive than the food i eat. i dont whine or complain, but all i am saying is if you want a model, you gotta be "prepared" for it. dont be bitter because this is your preference and your preference doesnt really seem realistic.

 

these beautiful attractive woman, take out the fake eyelashes, the expensive makeup, the manicure/pedicure, the work out, the nice clothes = you get an average woman.

 

ive paid for a man in my life, ive paid for his food, ive paid for dates, paid for gas, but i really consider myself average in looks. what more if the woman had 10 men following her, she has 10 guys to choose from..

 

money really makes everything a LOT easier....

 

same as george clooney or even justin timberlake...gorgeous men prefer gorgeous women. i dont ever see gorgeous men like brad pitt settle for a homely plain jane face.

I appreciate beautiful women as much as the next guy.

 

But deep down Im a hopeless romantic. Im sophisticated enough to be able to tell physical attraction from emotional attraction. The few women I ever fell head over heels for who gave me butterflies when I was around them were never the most beautiful ones. They were kind, funny and more importantly selfless above all things.

 

I realize that I do sound like a bitter person. But Im bitter because Im disappointed that the majority of the women I have encountered are far from selfless. They all expect expect expect. It can even be seen in this very forum. Based on my observation, out of all the female members here, I can count in one hand the ones whom I can tell are truly kind and considerate women and this is unfortunately also a reflection of how it is in real life. Of course Im not perfect myself. But even though I sound like a big jerk here, in real life Im actually a very good person. I feel like all the women with good character and decent looks are already taken and only the selfish spinsters and selfish future spinsters are left.

[Els]

I love how you see everything in absolutes! I guess there's no middle ground in your black and white world, huh? It's either blowing $500 on hair styling, make up an bikini wax every week or wearing smelly old snickers and $10 T-shirts?

 

There is no question that woman has to spend some money to take care of her appearance. There is nothing more unattractive than a woman who neglects her appearance. On the other hand, you don't need to blow ridiculous amounts of money on it either.

 

I could care less how many pairs of shoes or evening dresses my girl owns. I don't care if her handbag is made by Louis Vuitton or some random guy in China. I could care less if she has the latest iphone. I could care less is she blows her money going out to clubs with her girlfriends every weekend to get drunk and take a bunch of stupid pictures and then post them on facebook (actually, I take that back - I do care about that, as I would NOT want to date a club rat).

 

It's not like you have to be rich to maintain a pleasant, sexually attractive appearance. Besides, it all balances out, as guys also have to spend money on themselves to be attractive to women. Guys are more likely to own a car (many women would not date a guy without a car) and get their own place at an earlier age (hard to bring girls to your parents' house).

 

No, I simply provided an extreme example of my own experience to explain that I actually 'get' frugality. Frugality, IMO, is being able to survive on whatever hand you are dealt by not spending on anything unnecessary. And on a budget of $150 a week, believe me, a makeup set or a nice pair of heels is an unnecessary expense, because if I bought that I'd be eating stale bread for a week. Nowhere did I mention $500 a week, either, stop trying to shove words where they don't belong. If I really wanted to talk about extremes I would've talked Prada and LV, but I get that most guys couldn't care less about that.

 

The average woman spends at least $200/month on beautification though. Something that has no other benefits. As I said before, if a guy gets a car or a room of his own, it benefits him in other ways as well. Seriously, if you're ONLY buying a car because a woman you're dating wants it, you're a little messed up.

 

Again, you're missing the point. Frugality isn't just about 'not blowing excessive sums of money on stuff'. Frugality - 'extreme care in spending money; reluctance to spend money unnecessarily'. Most of us aren't frugal. And those of us who are, or are forced to by circumstances, will have to sacrifice certain things to achieve it. Beautification being the primary unnecessary expense for young women, it logically goes first.

[musemaj11]

Okay so to all the women who jusstify men spending money on you because you spend a lot on your personal care, are you saying that if you date a guy who takes as much personal care as you you are going to spend money on him instead then? I think not.

 

You women are just making excuses to feel entitled.

 

Guys have no less expenses than women. Charging men for the beauty care you use is just stupid. Being beautiful is for your own benefit. If a man said he had the right to expect money from women for the fee and time he invests at the gym everyday to have a good body, people would laugh at him.

 

I wish women would just tell men their price upfront instead of beating around the bush. It would make things easier. Name your price and select the most desirable bidder.

[Feelsgoodman]

The average woman spends at least $200/month on beautification though. Something that has no other benefits. As I said before, if a guy gets a car or a room of his own, it benefits him in other ways as well. Seriously, if you're ONLY buying a car because a woman you're dating wants it, you're a little messed up.

$200/month is not a lot of money. The average per capita GDP in the US is over $47,000.

 

As for frugality, your definition is way too extreme. To most people, being frugal does not imply counting every penny. Being frugal means, first and foremost, being responsible in your spending and living within your means.