Spirit25 Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 So I broke up with my boyfriend of a little over month last week after I finally found out why he had been so distant the last few days. I come to find out his ex who had left him for another guy had been texting him the last few days. She now revealed that she cheated on him the entire time they were dating. He thought he was over the pain she caused him but he was surprised that it still bothered him. I didn't want to feel second best so I ended things. It's not fair to me and he needs time and space to heal. He told me I wasn't second best to him, that I was originally his first choice just at that time I was not ready to date him and then we went on to date our exes. Back Story: We had been friends for almost 3 years. I met him at a party, one of those wild parties where a lot of people were making out with everyone. We actually made out that night and he told me years later that kiss stayed with him forever. He never forgot that night or that kiss. Had carried a torch for me all that time. My best friend had a brief thing for him so I didn't pursue him then. He asked my friend if I was into him, but she told him I wasn't his type. I actually denied my attraction to him for years but there deep down I knew there was something there between us. When he was going through hard times I was there for him and he was always there for me. I started dating someone and he did the same. My relationship ended badly and he reached out to me and thats when he revealed he always had a thing for me. I didn't let the conversation too far cause I didn't feel it was right to his girlfriend so I ended it with just saying thank you. I did not know however at the time they were having major problems until much later. I hurt for awhile over my ex and finally started to pick myself back up a bit. Then I found out his girlfriend had left him. I reached out to him of course and told him I was there for him if he needed to talk. A few months later I was on Plenty Of Fish and saw him on there. He seen that I had viewed his profile and revealed how much he still liked me and wanted pursue a relationship with me. We agreed to just take things slow. Get to really know each other more and just date. He really started to open up to me and I was able to open up to him to point where I'm pretty much completely over my ex. Then last week he started to shut down on me. He didn't seem to want to hang out or talk. I finally got it out of him that he was having second thoughts but he wanted to talk to see if there was anything we could do to make this work. After hearing what happened I knew there wasn't. Nothing is gonna help that but time. I feel powerless cause there is nothing I can do to help him except try and be his friend. We were friends before all this and he said he really does care about me and he really wanted us to stay friends. It was nothing I did, he's just not ready to give me his full heart and that I deserve better. For my sake I didn't want to stay friends at this point and wanted to make a clean break and delete him of facebook. He begged me to reconsider. Why does he care about remaining friends? He has shown very little concern for my feelings since we got together. He says I'm special to him and that he notices when I'm not around. When I am around he says it makes him feel good but yet he hasn't done anything to back up these statements. I know he's going through stuff right now but I feel like I'm second best. Like these last 2 years and a half of him of having feelings for me was all for nothing. It makes me feel that I really wasn't that special to him. He says it has nothing to do with me. That he didn't get bored of me. Yet I feel otherwise. Am I wrong to feel this way? Despite what he said about having feelings for me for so long, am I now just a rebound and been shoved in the "friend zone"? I'm just sick of getting hurt. I just want to be first for once. I don't want to sound insensitive. I really do understand and feel for him for what he's going through but that's not a reason to treat me like crap. I've always been there by his side supporting him. I'm just sick of being taken for granted as the understanding one. When will I ever get put first? When will someone ever consider my feelings? I'm so tired of it all you know.
vegasmistake Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 Yeah I think you should give him a chance. I don't think your a rebound, I feel like he just didn't have time to heal up those previous wounds. Maybe in a perfect life you two would have taken it more slowly, but things sometimes don't happen that way. I say just keep him close but let him have time to heal. Give him a few weeks to come around and I'm sure he will be back to treating you the way you want to be treated. Send him a nice message saying your hurt about being second fiddle, but that you understand his situation and you wanna be there for him. He will appreciate it.
Author Spirit25 Posted May 17, 2011 Author Posted May 17, 2011 He already knows how I feel. He's given nothing to chew on.
Author Spirit25 Posted May 17, 2011 Author Posted May 17, 2011 I was just on POF checking to see who viewed me and saw he was online. Obviously he has no interest in getting back with me if he's talking to other girls.
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