lolo1234 Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 Met someone on match . We've been chatting for a couple weeks via phoe amd text. We went on 1 date that went very well. Guy is a good guy for sure. Just a Caribs person who tries to do what's best in life. He is super sweet and nice with me, genuinely interested in me and getting to know me. I am not crazy attracted to him or anything but I think that can change . Anyhow... He wants to go awayfor a weekend. Not far just abt 4 hrs away by car. He is inviting me and it should be fun, talk of beach, pool, water skiing. The only problem I have is that if I spen that weekend with him, I am basically closing it off to meet anyone else. I have quite a few other people I'm interested in getting to know. I dunno... Should I just go for it? I really like him.
SmileFace Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 He wants your second date to be a weekend getaway or is this something he has planned already and just inviting you along?
nordic Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 There will be a bit of an expectation for sex. That's a big part of getaways. It doesn't mean it will necessarily happen. If he doesn't have rules about holding off until marriage or later in the relationship then sex will be on the brain. and what does that mean? she can still say no.
OliveOyl Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 It would be too soon for me. A bit of a long time to be with someone I just met. I agree with Our Lady. Sure you can say no, but do you want the added pressure? But if you're ready for sex then it's a different scenario.
Author lolo1234 Posted May 17, 2011 Author Posted May 17, 2011 It wouldn't be our 2 nd date. I'm probably gonna see him at least once before then. I still have some time to make my decision. Maybe after our 2nd date... Honestly he didn't even try to kiss me on the 1st date so I don't think that he will exert any strong pressure for sex. He just wants to travel and do weekend getaways. We both had that as something we wanted to do more of. And of course doing that with someone ia more fun. He is talking about taking me to new Orleans next month too.
Nexus One Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 How isolated will you two be at any time on this getaway? Are we talking about a cabin deep in the woods? Just checking here, just checking.
CambridgeGirl Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 How isolated will you two be at any time on this getaway? Are we talking about a cabin deep in the woods? Just checking here, just checking. Amusing, but still a valid point. A guy I just meet says lets go away for the weekend, and, soooooooooo, what are the sleeping arrangements? Sharing a room.... Bunking.... up?
nordic Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 I wasn't denying her right to say no. then what is the problem?
abbeylouwho Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 I think it would be too fast for me as well, but I understand why you would want to go. I'd just be a little worried I think. Sure, chances are he's a really nice cool guy that just wants to spend time with you exploring. But, you never know. I think I'd get to know him a bit better first. Go on a couple more actual dates and really get to know him first. There's plenty of time to do your traveling. :-) But that's just what I'd do...
Jazzari Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 My first date on Match was a weekend getaway. I was SO nervous, lol! But I trusted the guy and made it clear there would be no sex. He was very agreeable to that and pointed out that relationships based on sex didn't tend to last. The date was fantastic and I've been with him ever since. If you make your expectations clear and he agrees, I see no reason not to go. Until you both agree to be exclusive, I don't think it cuts you off from meeting others.
Author lolo1234 Posted May 17, 2011 Author Posted May 17, 2011 Yes. I definitely think I need to be clear with him about the sex thing . I just have this problem with asserting myself at times ... Working on that. It'll definitely make the getaway more comfortable for me if I am clear with him about my expectations. I'm sure we can get a room with 2 double beds. We will likely stay in a resort in a popular vacation spot. I guess it's totally possible that if I tell him about my no sex expectation he might decide not to take me.
Datura Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 Is he paying for everything? You say you have difficulties with assertiveness. What if he hangs this over your head, "I'm paying, so you must do such and such?"
Author lolo1234 Posted May 17, 2011 Author Posted May 17, 2011 He will be paying for everything . I definitely need to talk to him before we go. He has to pay for everything because I can't afford to right now. He knows that I can't either.
Author lolo1234 Posted May 18, 2011 Author Posted May 18, 2011 I am so glad I asked about this. He looked into hotel prices and found it its really expensive (duh its memorial day weekend). And now he's talking about going to Orlando or Tampa. I'm not really keen on travelling there for a weekend as I don't know him that well and those are very boyfriend-y places to go too. So the last few times I've talked to him he just wants to talk about this trip. I also should have mentioned that he is living with his parents right now (helping to take care of his mom) so of course a get away would be a perfect opportunity for us to "get to know each other better".
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