eurastrav Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 I am 36, just divorced, and my ex-wife was my first girfriend. I don't have loads of experience in dating and sex, needless to say. Anyway, I have a girlfriend now who is super hot and fun to spend time with. The thing is, I feel a twinge when I hear about her former boyfriends or other sexual encounters. She doesn't dwell, just passing mention in a pretty normal way. I am not judgemental, and I am very open about sex. If anything, I feel agony for all the fun I missed. I would love to have met someone like her in the grocery store in my 20s and taken her back to my place randomly (as happned to her a couple of times). I missed out, and it feels terrible. I don't even know how to pull something like that off. If I could, I would! Makes me feel gutted and lame. She doesn't know this about me. I'm attractive, outgoing, have lots of friends. Her assumption is probably that I had loads of girlfriends and sex in my teens and 20s. Nope. And no sex with wife after a year into the 5-year marriage. Anyway, I can get over all of that, maybe. My main question is...is there always just a tiny amount of retroactive jealousy in any dating relationship? Is it a normal thing to feel?
April72 Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 I don't think anyone wants to hear about their lovers past in detail. But typically those lucky ones of us that have retroactive jealousy it's usually not a "twinge" it's a nut nut obsession that cause a great deal of distress and hoplessness. You situation may be one of just inexperience and envy... I mean if you just came out of a marriage with your only GF why go settle right back up with the next one that comes along... unless that's what makes you happy. Your still young go kick up your heels for a little while then focus on getting serious.
Untouchable_Fire Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 I am 36, just divorced, and my ex-wife was my first girfriend. I don't have loads of experience in dating and sex, needless to say. Anyway, I can get over all of that, maybe. My main question is...is there always just a tiny amount of retroactive jealousy in any dating relationship? Is it a normal thing to feel? Don't live with regrets... just do what you need to do. If you are an attractive guy it won't be super hard for you to do this stuff. Just put yourself out there by hitting on women and eventually these situations will fall in your lap.
Author eurastrav Posted July 14, 2011 Author Posted July 14, 2011 Thanks. Eurasian Traveller is a famous old Russian movie I liked watching as a child (parents from Ukraine). It is about oddessy and self-discovery, hence "Eurastrav". Life is fun :-) Even up here in the cloudy northwest.
thatone Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 I am 36, just divorced, and my ex-wife was my first girfriend. I don't have loads of experience in dating and sex, needless to say. Anyway, I have a girlfriend now who is super hot and fun to spend time with. The thing is, I feel a twinge when I hear about her former boyfriends or other sexual encounters. She doesn't dwell, just passing mention in a pretty normal way. I am not judgemental, and I am very open about sex. If anything, I feel agony for all the fun I missed. I would love to have met someone like her in the grocery store in my 20s and taken her back to my place randomly (as happned to her a couple of times). I missed out, and it feels terrible. I don't even know how to pull something like that off. If I could, I would! Makes me feel gutted and lame. She doesn't know this about me. I'm attractive, outgoing, have lots of friends. Her assumption is probably that I had loads of girlfriends and sex in my teens and 20s. Nope. And no sex with wife after a year into the 5-year marriage. Anyway, I can get over all of that, maybe. My main question is...is there always just a tiny amount of retroactive jealousy in any dating relationship? Is it a normal thing to feel? a) the girlfriend did all that stuff before she'll do it again, so keep it casual, don't make her your next ex-wife. b) you can do the same thing, men in their mid 30s are just as much in their prime as women are in their mid 20s. you can have the 20 something year olds that you missed out on. you have more money, more life experience, more maturity, more of a lot of things than those 25 year old men do. you can steal from their herd as often as you like, so have a blast.
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