Fastone Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 (edited) I was interested in two very good looking girls thorough the years, who both crashed and burned with me using the same tactics. The incidents were about 6 years apart, though both girls did the same things. Both of them hung-around and were friendly for over two months. Both blew me off for one date. Then, both of them showed-up unexpectedly at my doorstep, about a month-and-a-half after I got over them, asking to spend the night because they were drunk/couldn't get into their apartments. This approach totally caused both of these girls to lose my interest 100%. I didn't sleep with either of them, was never with either romantically after this. I'm wondering: why did both of these girls do exactly the same approach ? Can a girl explain: is this some type of pattern ? Is this approach supposed to mean something ? Edited May 17, 2011 by Fastone
thatone Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 it means they are girls, not women. you said it yourself . next time do everyone a favor, when they knock on the door, tell them to call a locksmith. they need some rejection to grow up, you need to stop appeasing them.
Author Fastone Posted May 17, 2011 Author Posted May 17, 2011 they need some rejection to grow up Well, that's exactly what they got. I'm just wondering why/how both did exactly the same pattern, to a tee. Is the above situation some type of known girl pattern ?
phineas Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 Because when they have no current options you will do. As soon as multiple options happen again (summer is around the corner) they will get "busy" & you won't hear from them again until their out of options. It's happened to me also. Now 30lbs lighter & their circling around. I don't view them as GF material. But, their still hot & fun to hang out with.
fishtaco Posted May 18, 2011 Posted May 18, 2011 Because when they have no current options you will do. Exactly. And some women do that because they are rewarded for it. Many guys are dumb. When they "like" a girl, they stay that way for a long time. Even if they get kicked around and tossed out. They have no self esteem. And when the girl suddenly needs something, he's more than happy to invest his time and effort, thinking he's going to get something finally. There are two ways to handle this: 1) Exactly like you did. If they don't play ball, drop them and never look back. That means you have a spine and you respect yourself. 2) Play your part, and try to use them for whatever purpose you need (maybe sex, maybe clean your house, whatever strikes your fancy). Then it'd be mutual using, a business deal, even trade.
Mrlonelyone Posted May 18, 2011 Posted May 18, 2011 2) Play your part, and try to use them for whatever purpose you need (maybe sex, maybe clean your house, whatever strikes your fancy). Then it'd be mutual using, a business deal, even trade. I do believe that the origin of marriage lies in what you are talking about. A man using a woman to have get off, have children, get the benefit of her gathereing skills. While the woman uses the man to get off, have children, and get the benefit of his hunting skills and physical protection from other males. To the OP. Yes it is a pattern. Many girls and women do this but only to certain men. It's like I said to another questioner today. Some women NEED to have a man in their life to feel good about themself weather they like him or not. They need to have a man call him boyfriend and use him like a fashion accessory to make them look good. They need to have a man call him stalker then talk dramatically about how this man is a stalker to make them look desired. They need to have a man call him husband because such a man will make them look respectable. Plenty of men do this too. I would say the difference is a man is more likely to have a conscious about it and know he's doing wrong... where as I have noticed many women have a great ability to justify all kinds of wrong doing on their part. Added to that many of these women have a great ability to and desire to be seen as a victim of some kind. That is why the kind of woman you have dealt with acts that way. Not all women are like that but some are. If it is seen less in men it is because of the gender expectations we have of men to be stoic and unemotional in the extreme. Society does not tolerate such histrionics in heterosexual males (not really in homosexual ones either...excluding transgender women of course).
Star Gazer Posted May 18, 2011 Posted May 18, 2011 Um, I don't think when they showed up on your doorstep drunk, looking for a place to crash, that they were interested in you...they just needed a place to sleep and figured you'd be okay with it because you (at least at one time) liked them. So you didn't reject them, nor did they crash and burn.
NoMagicBullet Posted May 18, 2011 Posted May 18, 2011 I don't think it can even be called an approach. An approach would imply a certain amount of planning for romantic interest. They never were interested in you as more than a friend -- they were friendly, but they didn't want to date you. They still thought you a good enough friend to crash on your couch when they were sauced. I don't know if you went NC after these girls refused your offers of dates, but if not, they may have actually thought you were okay with being friends. Sorry, Fastone, they just weren't interested.
fishtaco Posted May 18, 2011 Posted May 18, 2011 Um, I don't think when they showed up on your doorstep drunk, looking for a place to crash, that they were interested in you...they just needed a place to sleep and figured you'd be okay with it because you (at least at one time) liked them. So you didn't reject them, nor did they crash and burn. But why would a woman want to spend the night drunk, at a male acquaintance's house, who they thought was romantically interested in them? Would you do that? How about - Relatives? Female BFFs? Long time male friend who you trust? A female acquaintance's house? Flirt with a sucker at the bar and use him to pay for your taxi ride home? But you're right. There was no interest. This is just not crash and burn. Just a couple of users trying to use OP, and he said no. My pat on the back to him still stands.
Star Gazer Posted May 18, 2011 Posted May 18, 2011 But why would a woman want to spend the night drunk, at a male acquaintance's house, who they thought was romantically interested in them? Would you do that? Um, you answered it yourself: Just a couple of users trying to use OP, and he said no.
Ross MwcFan Posted May 18, 2011 Posted May 18, 2011 Two girls that you obviously thought were physically attractive were handing it to you on a plate and you rejected them?
fishtaco Posted May 18, 2011 Posted May 18, 2011 It was revenge for being rejected. Actually I would call it "not being stupid".
Author Fastone Posted May 19, 2011 Author Posted May 19, 2011 (edited) Thanks everyone ! Regarding interest, the second one was wearing a miniskirt and asked me to give her a foot message-- totally flashing her panties. I did, but stopped short of going further up her legs. Then she asked me to take off my shirt... I was reluctant because I didn't want to take advantage of her drunkness. Just as 'Our Lady is Watching' said, I didn't want my mugshot to be on TV the week after ! So there was a bit of touching, but all requested by her verbally. Then I tried to 'change the subject' and just sleep. The next morning she looked very disappointed. I should add that this girl was honestly the best looking girl I ever saw in the state of Michigan. We had a successful first date. Kissed quite a bit, flirted quite a bit, etc.. Then she told me on the first date that she was a cancer survivor-- ovarian cancer. Then she stood me up for the second date. Didn't show-up. Then she came over drunk about 6 weeks later... I had respect for her and didn't want to just get jiggy with her any way I could, and that was totally the wrong approach for me, and I didn't want a ride in a Police car. Thanks again ! Edited May 19, 2011 by Fastone
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