hurting in love Posted April 12, 2004 Posted April 12, 2004 I don't know where to begin, I have been dating/living with the same guy for 4 years, we started out as roommates and friends that eventually evolved to us loving one another and we used to be very sexual. Then just out of the blue the sex slowed down, and now my bf tells me that he don't know why he doesn't like sex, he says maybe it is because he has such an overload of worries on his mind, he told me not to worry cause it wasn't me, he said that he doesn't get turned on by any female so of course in todays world I asked him if males turned him on and he said no, I believe him wholeheartedly, I am just worried that this could be the end of us, i am trying so hard to understand but it is really hard on me to understand how someone can go from loving to make love to disliking it. Please help me understand. lost in love
moimeme Posted April 12, 2004 Posted April 12, 2004 He could be too stressed, but that means he's damaging his health other ways. Send him to a doctor to get checked out physically, first. He could have some sort of physical condition that's interfering with his desire. If he's that stressed, he needs to learn about stress management strategies - fast!
Fedup&givingup Posted April 12, 2004 Posted April 12, 2004 Yes, alot of times stress does take it's toll. Try to back off for a bit, and let him work this out with himself. NO matter what the issue is, it's NOT you.
Moose Posted April 12, 2004 Posted April 12, 2004 It is kinda unusual that a MAN doesn't have a sex drive. But hey, I've been stressed out before and sex seemed to relieve that sometimes.....maybe he needs some, "Babying".......a vacation....a break from the, "usual", is his job stressfull? There is always the nice dinner and wine and then slowly bring it up...nothing gets resolved without talking about it......I don't think I've ever been in the situation when I wasn't interested in sex so I guess my advice is just a shot in the dark......good luck!!
Girlie Posted April 12, 2004 Posted April 12, 2004 What are the other aspects of your relationship like? Are you still communicating well? Are you physical in other ways (cuddling, kissing, etc?). Sex is just one aspect of a relationship and there are times when one party can lose their drive for any number of reasons that have nothing to do with the relationship heading towards disaster. Stress is a biggie there, and obviously, there can also be physical reasons. If your relationship is otherwise good, I wouldn't freak out or force the issue really hard. Keep the lines of communication open and see if your partner is willing to try different things to rekindle his sex drive. If he's under a lot of stress, see if he's willing to look into avenues of relieving some of that, like stress management, etc. If he's not willing to work on anything, then you have a problem.
FolderWife Posted April 12, 2004 Posted April 12, 2004 It sounds like it's just stress. I had that problem when my husband looked at porn. Does he masterbate, or does he have not sex drive at all? Would he be willing to see a doctor?
fredrolin Posted April 13, 2004 Posted April 13, 2004 I couldn't imagine not having a sex drive. It doesn't matter how ugly the woman is or how tired or stressed I am I could always perform.
pav186 Posted April 15, 2004 Posted April 15, 2004 I dont know how long its been slowed down for and i know it may be hard for women to understand this, but it is possible for a guy to not want to have sex 24/7. I know you think we do, but there can be other things on our minds.....
shnooks Posted April 24, 2004 Posted April 24, 2004 There is a form of sexual addiction that is called Sexual Anorexia. Do a search on google for it, and it will pull up tons of links on the subject. Oh, and for those of you who suffer from not getting sex from your parter, but he looks and masterbates to porn, that can also be a form of sexual anorexia, just a little different skew on the matter.
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