FeelingDead Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 Hey guys, I am new around here. I am trying to find ways to overcome the break up of my 1st love. We had been together for about 3 year. We went to the same college and graduated at about the same time. After graduation, she decided to break up with me. This break up could be caused by a classmate of hers, lets call him B. He is also a common friend of us. They are in the same major, therefore they had a decency to spend a lot of time together. In my second last semester, I suspected that there was something wrong about them being so close. I approached her about it. We had an argument about it and she was firm that they were just friends. This last semester which just ended on Saturday, they got a lot closer. They were chatting more frequently on the net, she would go over to his place to study and whenever we went out, she would walk with him. Initially we agreed that we are not seen in public as a couple due to the fact that my parents do not agree to me having a girlfriend of a different race (they are a little old-fashioned). But at our apartment, we would be together as our parents are back in our home country. I have a feeling that they might have started to being a couple behind my back. My ex now has gone back to her home country for a few weeks. I am thinking of confronting B in order to know the real story. What do you guys think I should do? I am having a hard time concentrating on things with this on my mind. Please help me guys. Being experience-less in this issue is taking a toll on me. Thanks
Author FeelingDead Posted May 17, 2011 Author Posted May 17, 2011 Guys, I need some advice. I have been really feeling sad, loss of appetite and loss of sleep. Please advice me. I dont want to get back with her, but I need some closure to my broken heart.
Desensitized Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 Personally, I wouldn't ask the other guy if they have a thing with each other because honestly, you probably won't like the response he gives you. You lost a special person in your life, and you need to take the time to cope with this properly. So let it all out, go ahead and cry and proceed to NC. The days will seem long, and you will probably want to contact her to try and get back together. Don't do this. The more contact you have with her, the more time it will take to finish your healing process.
Author FeelingDead Posted May 17, 2011 Author Posted May 17, 2011 @ Desensitized I wish I can go NC for a longer period. But as of now, my ex and I share the same apartment and our lease goes on for the next 3 months. Not only that, I am a student at US, so I dont have my family to return to immediately. Not only that, I depend on the guy for transportation. Its like I am stuck with both of them for some time now. I am considering of applying to do my grad school in another place, but that will not materialize until next Spring. There are high chances I will be stuck with both of them for the next few months
plasma Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 Hey guys, I am new around here. I am trying to find ways to overcome the break up of my 1st love. We had been together for about 3 year. We went to the same college and graduated at about the same time. After graduation, she decided to break up with me. This break up could be caused by a classmate of hers, lets call him B. He is also a common friend of us. They are in the same major, therefore they had a decency to spend a lot of time together. In my second last semester, I suspected that there was something wrong about them being so close. I approached her about it. We had an argument about it and she was firm that they were just friends. This last semester which just ended on Saturday, they got a lot closer. They were chatting more frequently on the net, she would go over to his place to study and whenever we went out, she would walk with him. Initially we agreed that we are not seen in public as a couple due to the fact that my parents do not agree to me having a girlfriend of a different race (they are a little old-fashioned). But at our apartment, we would be together as our parents are back in our home country. I have a feeling that they might have started to being a couple behind my back. My ex now has gone back to her home country for a few weeks. I am thinking of confronting B in order to know the real story. What do you guys think I should do? I am having a hard time concentrating on things with this on my mind. Please help me guys. Being experience-less in this issue is taking a toll on me. Thanks you should be doing backflips your single now, why your pining over this tramp is beyond me, esp your in different country:D Be happy your not married to her !
KrisT Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 I think as long as you are mature about the confrontation to B I see no problem asking him about his relationship with her. My feelings are you have the right to know. Consider saying you have been reflecting on the demise of the relationship and you noticed how close the two of them have become. Finally saying how close are you guys. I think if you go all agro about it with B he wont answer the question, and your ex will be offend that you are behaving like that towards someone she obviously seems to care about in some way. I understand your desire to get as many replys to you post as possible, I'm not having much luck getting replys to my post. Hopefully I have helped a little
plasma Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 be a MAN , why care? she didnt. let it die bro ! shes crossed you, why disect the reasoning and further hold youru hand over the flames ??
sun_moon Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 You are in a difficult situation because you depend on both of them at the moment. If you decide to talk to him, it cant be a confrontation, you have to go to him as a friend wanting some advice. Ask him I know you two are really good friends and she trusts you, why is it that she broke up with me? I need closure, I need to know if I did something to upset her. You have to be ready for any kind of answer, he could give you the news you were feeling, or he could surprise you, or your intuition may tell you something he is not in his body language, eyes, and how he speaks. If you are not ready for a response, I agree that it is best to leave it alone. You know, when she returns, she may have had sometime to think without the pressure of you there or asking, she might surprise you and give you that talk. I know that your world is falling apart, we all know, we are all going through or have gone through the same things, but try your best to stay composed, try your best to leave them both alone. If she is a good person with good character she will tell you why and wont leave you hanging, but if she doesn't, its best to follow everyone's advice and leave her alone. You have to find a way out of your living situation.
Recommended Posts