John Michael Kane Posted May 18, 2011 Posted May 18, 2011 Hmmm where's John Michael Kayne and WorldIsYours on this topic? Inquiring minds want to know. It's Kane by the way. Well there isn't much to say really, besides the obvious POS this guy is. Although I do wonder why so many on this thread is s*cking this man's wee-wee-wee simply because of his fame, and trying to use that somehow justify his sick behavior. Doesn't matter if you end up making 85 trillion and giving half of that to charity it still doesn't change you cheated, screwed up your family, and said "I'll be back" to the maid after you screwed her relentlessly while you wife was probably sleep upstairs.
NoIDidn't Posted May 18, 2011 Posted May 18, 2011 This is such sad news to me. They were a couple that I could tell really loved and accepted each other exactly as they were. I'm sure she gave him a lot of freedom, just not with people in their house and definitely not to create a new life and keep it secret for ten years. A part of me hopes they can reconcile, the marriage and their family. But part of me knows that Maria is doing what she thinks is best at the moment. He really seemed to love her and she really stood by and supported him in everything that he did. I don't think the existence of the kid destroyed her as much as the lying and deception around its birth did.
Author greengoddess Posted May 18, 2011 Author Posted May 18, 2011 I don't think you can reconcile 14 years of lying about a baby. It's too much.
nyrias Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 When did I say meeting the "perfect person" BUT there are basic traits that are good enough for some. Comes down to what is important to the person looking. If you are looking for a man that has money and good looks, then that is your benchmark for the "perfect man" and is based on your standards. The chances of finding someone who doesn't cheat are not "low" at all... Not everyone is wired the same way. The man who won't cheat on you, may be the same dude that smokes 3 packs of cigarettes a day. Which one do you chose to live with? The smoker non-cheater or the cheater with no nicotine habit? The choice is yours, and those choices are based on standards and other factors that come with maturity. Even though I can't fully say what I am want in a person, I know what I don't want. Anything acceptable that is not on my "No-no" list, is something that I am willing to work with. This is what I called "That simple". Having realistic standards, opens the opportunity of meeting 1,000 amazing potential mates. http://www.infidelityfacts.com/infidelity-statistics.html This statistics say that "Percentage of men who say they would have an affair if they knew they would never get caught: 74%". So for you, there are 26% left. Certainly in the minority, but not non-existence. The kicker is that it is hard to tell this 26% apart from the 74%. Secondly, there is also studies showing that the chance of an affair goes UP with education/income (not surprising, look at how many rich/famous people are having affairs). The good news is that there are 300M people in the US, and that means millions in the right gender & age group. Thus, 26% may not be that bad .. that is if you can identify them.
reservoirdog1 Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 I don't think you can reconcile 14 years of lying about a baby. It's too much. It's a pretty huge thing, no doubt about it. It means that, in a huge way, over half their marriage has been a lie. She can't look back at anything over the last 14 years without thinking that there was a massive factor she didn't know about.
bentnotbroken Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 It's a pretty huge thing, no doubt about it. It means that, in a huge way, over half their marriage has been a lie. She can't look back at anything over the last 14 years without thinking that there was a massive factor she didn't know about. So true. :(
taiko Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 Thank you Bent, no child regardless of how they were conceived should be considered a "bastard." The sins of the mother and father are their own sins and the child is innocent. In all actuality, the child isn't a bastard either way because he/she did have a father when he/she was born. I feel sorry for Maria too because I think she's a great woman and has done great work. However, I can't judge what happened in her marriage as I wasn't there and what happens behind closed doors would shock people. Bastard is just a dictionary definition which is easier to spell and say then illegitimate and traditionlly we have taken as bad since it was an outward sign of a mortal sin. My wife's son has ILLEGITIMATE over-stamped on his birth certificate. He was born a couple of years after the law in their nation was changed so he carries his father's name.
2sure Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 It doesnt matter what he was like , or the terms of their marriage, or what was acceptable or what was not. Clearly, he betrayed his wife under the terms and conditions of the relationship they made together. Even for those who turn a blind eye to a spouses bad behavior..screwing the help is a bit beyond the pale. Employing the OW to work with your family in their home..nobody is going to turn a blind eye to that. On his part..its just lazy. Think of what this OW's husband and child will now think of her. The household staff that screwed the boss and tried to pull off that the child was her husbands. That he waited until he was no longer in office simply shows that he was more concerned with his career than with his family. Maria left. No questions asked, no stand by your man crap. She left because she could. Like most BS would but many cannot.
silktricks Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 Maria left. No questions asked, no stand by your man crap. She left because she could. Like most BS would but many cannot. I personally take offense to this. It is judgment on your part. I certainly could have left, but chose not to. As do many. To be clear, there is no way that I personally could forgive what Arnold did. However, I am not Maria, and do not presume to think that what I can and cannot forgive is the be-all and end-all in our little world.
Snowflower Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 Maria left. No questions asked, no stand by your man crap. She left because she could. Like most BS would but many cannot. Why do you say this? I'm kind of surprised that you would. Most, if not nearly all BS can leave a marriage if they choose. It's not 1800s or even the 1950s.
2sunny Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 actions affect others. so do NON-actions. he did something - she decided to do something about what he did... that is HER choice since his actions affected her life. consequences to our actions - best to think it all the way through IF we are trying to decide how it MAY affect others in the long run... he obviously was only thinking of himself at that time... now he lives with what he DID. harms done... i don't blame her for having a boundary and sticking to it. everyone has choices... choices affect others...
2sure Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 You are welcome to take personal offense. Why you would bother is beyond me. But on with the disclaimer: By MOST. I meant MANY. I myself and many people here and many people in real life, women with children especially...have "chosen" to stay at least temporarily with a cheating spouse simply because of the logistics of being married with children. Of course, for many - and by that I do not mean most - that temporary reason for staying can successfully lead to staying for reasons less logistically inclined.
John Michael Kane Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 Maria left. No questions asked, no stand by your man crap. She left because she could. Like most BS would but many cannot. She left because she had a choice, just like cheaters always had.
2sure Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 I can and did leave my cheating husband , however I was not able to do so immediately. And I do believe that upon D-Day most BS would like very much to get away from WS at least initially.
2sunny Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 everyone has choices... choosing to stay is also a choice! for me?... i chose NOT to be the victim of his actions anymore. very freeing... very uncomfortable... until i found out what freedom came from not playing that role any longer in life... everyone has choices! what we choose represents who we are! living in fear is not any form of freedom!
xpaperxcutx Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 I've been following this story since it broke and from what I've read, Arnold only admitted the truth to fathering a child out of wedlock when Maria confronted him about it. If Arnie had his way, I doubt he would admit to the scandal; he would've continued to deceive his wife and children. Also from what I've come to know, Maria moved out probably because she felt their marital home's been tainted. According to the news, the maid had slept with Arnold in their bed and had even worn Maria's clothes and jeweleries.
mzdolphin Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 Well, I stayed with WS initially out of fear. I didn't want my young son to grow up in a "broken home". I feared not being socially accepted. I feared I wouldn't be able to support myself because I had put my career on hold and had started a totally new business. When I did divorce and came out of the fog, I realized the stuff I feared was in my head. It took me a few years to get reacquainted with the "me" before I married. Once I did, I realized she was pretty cool.
NoIDidn't Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 It doesnt matter what he was like , or the terms of their marriage, or what was acceptable or what was not. Clearly, he betrayed his wife under the terms and conditions of the relationship they made together. Even for those who turn a blind eye to a spouses bad behavior..screwing the help is a bit beyond the pale. Employing the OW to work with your family in their home..nobody is going to turn a blind eye to that. On his part..its just lazy. Think of what this OW's husband and child will now think of her. The household staff that screwed the boss and tried to pull off that the child was her husbands. That he waited until he was no longer in office simply shows that he was more concerned with his career than with his family. Maria left. No questions asked, no stand by your man crap. She left because she could. Like most BS would but many cannot. More details have come out and its definitely looking like he was planning on taking this to his grave. The OW threatened to go to the Media if he didn't tell Maria. They were both pregnant at the same time with the kids delivered within a week of each other. Wow. I would NOT be able to stay with my H either, because just celebrating my child's birthday would be so painful. It would be painful whether I stayed or not, but at least if I left I wouldn't have to look into his miserable face. Yuck!
Joe Normal Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 She is an idiot, it was obvious before she got married that Arnold would cheat on her. If you make yourself a doormat don't be surprised if you get trampled on.
xpaperxcutx Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 She is an idiot, it was obvious before she got married that Arnold would cheat on her. If you make yourself a doormat don't be surprised if you get trampled on. I'm certain Maria was the kind of women who thought that marriage would change a man's philandering ways. It's not entirely a fault but poor judgment that came back to haunt her after 25 years. Also, men are susceptible to cheating. The only reason those don't is because of consequences. Those who chance cheating are the ones who ( think) they're good liars. Obviously, Arnold thought he was a good liar if he managed to keep it under wraps for so long.
Darren Taylor Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 Arnold deserves whatever happens to him. He is 100% at fault for his cheating, no ifs, ands, or buts. But, I also question Maria's judgment. Arnold was a well known womanizer and chauvinist. She married him because of his money and status. While I do feel bad for her, I also don't feel bad for her at the same time. She knew what she got herself into.
John Michael Kane Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 I'm certain Maria was the kind of women who thought that marriage would change a man's philandering ways. It's not entirely a fault but poor judgment that came back to haunt her after 25 years. It doesn't matter. The fame the money doesn't matter and she never deserved to be treated like this. She is still a betrayed spouse who got hurt, right along with innocent children in the mix. Arnold and the maid are both the losers here... Also, men are susceptible to cheating. Yea every man on this earth cannot resist the temptation. If your stereotype is so true, then the same goes for women. The only reason those don't is because of consequences. Right that is the only reason we don't cheat. Brilliant.
bentnotbroken Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 Arnold deserves whatever happens to him. He is 100% at fault for his cheating, no ifs, ands, or buts. But, I also question Maria's judgment. Arnold was a well known womanizer and chauvinist. She married him because of his money and status. While I do feel bad for her, I also don't feel bad for her at the same time. She knew what she got herself into. Who's money and status? He is the one who got the bump up in life. He is a piss poor actor(whose movies I loved by the way), with communication problems, an ego the size of north America and since the roids I would guess a penis the size of a twig (with the grape size balls). She is from a well known, firmly established family(financially and status). Again, who status and money was she looking for? As is constantly pointed out on these boards...love requires you put on rose colored glasses until after you are married. It took quite a few years for my to get smashed to bits. No person deserves to be cheated on.
tami-chan Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 Then with that said, shouldn't every single OW who ends up marrying their MM, shouldn't be surprised down the road that he gets into another affair and has an OW. Hey, since an OW married her MM, knows he's capable of telling lies, is capable of such betrayal, living a double life, should she be blamed for the future outcome if the guy cheats on her? Absolutely something to seriously ponder upon by any party who is in a relationship with someone who cheated-whether APs or BSs who stay or take back their WSs. BUT we are also talking about Arnold who is a SERIAL cheater! Nobody, of course, is beyond redemption-change is possible but if we are taking a risk marrying a KNOWN womanizer...we have to be responsible if the results are not to our favor. We are all about taking responsibility for our actions, right? Maria is not to be blamed for his cheating and his blatant disrespect for their home-even their bed ( if stories are to be believed!) but she did choose him, a known womanizer and she will have to be responsible for her choice/s.
xxoo Posted May 20, 2011 Posted May 20, 2011 http://www.infidelityfacts.com/infidelity-statistics.html This statistics say that "Percentage of men who say they would have an affair if they knew they would never get caught: 74%". So for you, there are 26% left. Certainly in the minority, but not non-existence. The kicker is that it is hard to tell this 26% apart from the 74%. This website does not cite their sources. Their stats should be read (and quoted) with a healthy dose of skepticism. I'm certain Maria was the kind of women who thought that marriage would change a man's philandering ways. It's not entirely a fault but poor judgment that came back to haunt her after 25 years. . I'd be very surprised if Maria thought marriage would change a man's philandering ways. Her family history strongly teaches the opposite. On the contrary, I suspect that Maria chose the known demon, over the unknown demon. Better to marry someone who you KNOW will cheat, than to marry someone who you believe will not and inevitably be crushed when they do. Where Arnold really let her down was not protecting her from exposure and public humiliation. She probably expected a man with his ambition (like the men in her family of origin) to be SMART about his indiscretions. And, hoo-boy, did he let her down there .
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