irc333 Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 Okay, I was wondering, and hearing from friends, that sometimes they won't even date someone on the other side of the same CITY, and consider that even long distance. Some prefer no more than a 30 min. drive even to find their future significant other. Won't date a suburbanite? Why is this? Are there some of you out there that's willing to drive an hour to meet someone? I have talked to this one female friend that she's doing the online dating thing, and lives in a more suburban area.....there are just some cities ALSO that are sparse and can be spread about, I have known some areas that are a 1hrs drive in each direction from any real civilization that has a Wal-Mart. lol Thing is, however, I also wanted to ask THIS (two-part post here), if the one person is willing to drive ALL the way to see you, but you won't, is that a decent arrangement? I know of some guys that will drive an hour to meet a woman at her city, but she wont' return the favor (and that's okay with him) Personally, when I think long distance relationships, I think of people several HOURS away or even STATES away. Any comments?
oldguy Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 Gas prices are getting pretty high, LOL When I met my wife we lived a couple hours away & it worked out.
Kari Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 My boyfriend & I used to live 1-2 hours apart. He used to drive to see me (I have no licence) but I would provide his gas money at times to be fair. He is going to be moving a entire province away from me, and we are still discussing how he will visit. I don't believe that distance should get in the way of a relationship that could be great. States away would be a harder arrangement, but to some it is possible.
Cee Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 I don't drive. However, I have been willing to get on the train, bike, or subway to see someone. Although you make a good point that some geography is "undesirable." I don't fancy a lot of neighborhoods and I'm not crazy about dating a guy in the burbs because I don't want to end up living there. My current boyfriend doesn't have a car so we use public transit. We live in opposite neighborhoods in the city, so takes me an hour to get to/from his place. I love the man to death so it's not at all a bother. It's fun in the morning because we take the trolley in the morning to go to work. I get to do that girlfriend thing of kissing him goodbye at his stop. Frankly, if people like each other, they'll make the effort. When I read the LDR forum, I realize how easy I have it.
Author irc333 Posted May 17, 2011 Author Posted May 17, 2011 Have you seen fuel prices? Good point, but, even when gas prices were cheap, it's always been an issue. Even in the internet dating in the 1990's
Confusedalways Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 If I was online dating, I'd look for someone no further than 45 minutes away. If I met someone random (not online) and hit it off with them right away I'd be willing to drive no more than an hour and fifteenish... but that'd be pushing it. When I lived in the city, I was a little more lenient given the public transportation.
Eclypse Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 My girlfriend lived 40 mins away when we began dating. I thought that was bad, and then my parents moved us an hour and 15 mins away! Luckily I have my license and they help pay my fuel expenses. It's not too expensive since I only really drive to her place (and my car is small and fuel economical) and I only really get to see her once a week due to university schedules. I guess it could be worse, we could be in different countries. Just gotta open up a can of harden the **** up I guess. However if we were this far away from each other when we met, I probably wouldn't have asked her out on the first date. It's easier finding someone close to you.
Titania22 Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 Good point, but, even when gas prices were cheap, it's always been an issue. Even in the internet dating in the 1990's I wouldn't know about that. I just know that since i started driving regularly about 7yrs ago, fuel prices have more then doubled.
Author irc333 Posted May 17, 2011 Author Posted May 17, 2011 Believe it or not...this is MY perspective. Anyone 30 mins or LESS from where I live, is indeed LOCAL. I actually get overjoyed when I find someone THAT close to me. LOL My girlfriend lived 40 mins away when we began dating. I thought that was bad, and then my parents moved us an hour and 15 mins away! Luckily I have my license and they help pay my fuel expenses. It's not too expensive since I only really drive to her place (and my car is small and fuel economical) and I only really get to see her once a week due to university schedules. I guess it could be worse, we could be in different countries. Just gotta open up a can of harden the **** up I guess. However if we were this far away from each other when we met, I probably wouldn't have asked her out on the first date. It's easier finding someone close to you.
EasyHeart Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 I live in the downtown of a major metro, and I generally limit myself to women in the city or maybe a first-tier suburb. The reality is that if she lives more than 20-30 minutes away, we're just not going to see each other very often. I've heard the same from people out in the 'burbs -- they don't want to date people who live in the city because they are "too far away". I think if you live in a smaller town, the distance-thing is less important because (1) there's a smaller supply of people and (2) you're probably used to driving farther. I know people who live out-state who think nothing of driving an hour or two to go shopping, while I won't shop somewhere that I can't walk to or drive to in less than ten minutes.
fortyninethousand322 Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 Anything over an hour is not happening for me. I live in the outer suburbs with the intent on eventually moving closer to the city, although not in the city (as cynical as I am about politics, I'd like to at least be able to pretend that I have representation in Congress). So I'm open to dating people who live in the city or close to it.
Pianiste Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 I would be more than willing to drive an hour to meet someone. At the moment my boyfriend lives a 1,5 hour planeflight away from me. We frequently visit eachother but I guess we are both quite privileged and that it can be a lot harder when you are in a less favorable position. If you're having trouble tying the ends together at the end of the month you'll probably have completely different considerations to take into account that can very well influence the outcome. Personally, I wouldn't mind it if for some reason one of the two always travels, as long as I can pay for half the expenses. Otherwise it's too uneven, you're in it together. :-)
Author irc333 Posted May 17, 2011 Author Posted May 17, 2011 Yeah, that's how I am, I realized when all my small town friends got married and had a few kids...I had to move on to other social ventures. There's nothing of a social life where I live, if there are social gatherings, it's only meant for senior citizens and that's it. People my age have families and doing things with their other families. That's where I decided to go further in my quest for a social AND dating life as well. Funny thing is, some women have a problem with where I live, but I have no problem with commuting to see them. lol I'd be at some kind of big event in the city, and someone asked me what part of town I'm from, and I'd actually tell them what city..and they doa double take with "wow...you come a LONG way!" And I say, "That's okay, I get good gas milage" I live in the downtown of a major metro, and I generally limit myself to women in the city or maybe a first-tier suburb. The reality is that if she lives more than 20-30 minutes away, we're just not going to see each other very often. I've heard the same from people out in the 'burbs -- they don't want to date people who live in the city because they are "too far away". I think if you live in a smaller town, the distance-thing is less important because (1) there's a smaller supply of people and (2) you're probably used to driving farther. I know people who live out-state who think nothing of driving an hour or two to go shopping, while I won't shop somewhere that I can't walk to or drive to in less than ten minutes.
Jazzari Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 I'm currently dating someone who lives several states away - its about a 7-8 hour drive. I wouldn't want to date someone who lived more than 12 hours away. When you find someone that is truly special, then I think its worth it. I couldn't turn my back on something like that just because of a few hours distance. I like to travel to his place since I can stay a week. He can only stay the weekend when he comes here. He is much better off financially than I am but we haven't discussed travel expenses yet. I'm on a really tight budget so that's a problem for me. I'm not sure how to handle it. The idea of asking for help makes me cringe.
Nexus One Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 Not sure what geographically undesirable would be for me, I guess somewhere where there is no internet connection, because that would mean I couldn't send in documents/work to the office amongst other things. @Jazzari I'm not sure what kind of car you have, but perhaps if it's within your budget range look into the following car: http://bit.ly/8VJs2d Quote: The Audi A2 whose average fuel consumption is less than 3 litres per 100 kilometres (94.2 mpg-imp; 78.4 mpg-US), although these figures only applied to a special "3L" version with a diesel engine, automatic gearbox, stop-start system, less power and narrower tyres. It's one of the most fuel efficient "normal" cars ever built. It's from 1999, so its price should have already dropped dramatically. Perhaps it's a solution to the high fuel prices. Another car that's almost as fuel efficient is the Volkwagen Lupo 3L: http://bit.ly/bUqXq
vsmini Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 When I was back in college and my now-ex and I were dating we were at different schools and just over an hour and a half apart. We considered it some distance but wasn't really an issue. The funny thing now is that I live in New York City and even though Brooklyn, Queens, Manhattan and SI are all pretty close - due to transport and traffic it can take 1-2 hours to travel between the two places. My boyfriend and I both live in Brooklyn but because of our subway routes it takes over 45 minutes to get to each other. I agree that I consider long distance out of state, more than a 4 hour car drive or a plane trip to get to them. But an hour to two hour commute? while it's a nuisance, it's not really all that much "distance"
orion1010 Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 Anything over 20 minutes would start to get annoying to me.
Jazzari Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 Not sure what geographically undesirable would be for me, I guess somewhere where there is no internet connection, because that would mean I couldn't send in documents/work to the office amongst other things. @Jazzari I'm not sure what kind of car you have, but perhaps if it's within your budget range look into the following car: http://bit.ly/8VJs2d Quote: The Audi A2 whose average fuel consumption is less than 3 litres per 100 kilometres (94.2 mpg-imp; 78.4 mpg-US), although these figures only applied to a special "3L" version with a diesel engine, automatic gearbox, stop-start system, less power and narrower tyres. It's one of the most fuel efficient "normal" cars ever built. It's from 1999, so its price should have already dropped dramatically. Perhaps it's a solution to the high fuel prices. Another car that's almost as fuel efficient is the Volkwagen Lupo 3L: http://bit.ly/bUqXqI have an Expedition (yikes on the gas!) but my parents have been nice enough to let me borrow their car for trips. I'll have to get a new car eventually though - thanks for the links and suggestions!
Author irc333 Posted May 17, 2011 Author Posted May 17, 2011 Anything over 20 minutes would start to get annoying to me. You must live in a dense, populated area then. I find that most people that live in an area that's more "spread out", 20 min drive is a cakewalk. lol
Author irc333 Posted May 17, 2011 Author Posted May 17, 2011 I think single parents are not as wanting to do the long distance thing as people without kids. I'm currently dating someone who lives several states away - its about a 7-8 hour drive. I wouldn't want to date someone who lived more than 12 hours away. When you find someone that is truly special, then I think its worth it. I couldn't turn my back on something like that just because of a few hours distance. I like to travel to his place since I can stay a week. He can only stay the weekend when he comes here. He is much better off financially than I am but we haven't discussed travel expenses yet. I'm on a really tight budget so that's a problem for me. I'm not sure how to handle it. The idea of asking for help makes me cringe.
EasyHeart Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 You must live in a dense, populated area then. I find that most people that live in an area that's more "spread out", 20 min drive is a cakewalk. lolHeck, it sometimes takes me 20 minutes to just to go a few blocks!!! @Jazarri: I'm not sure where you live, but if you have an Expedition I'm guessing it's in the US. Audi doesn't sell the A2 here. Most of those teensy cars aren't sold here.
Nexus One Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 @Jazarri: I'm not sure where you live, but if you have an Expedition I'm guessing it's in the US. Audi doesn't sell the A2 here. Most of those teensy cars aren't sold here. You can walk into an Audi dealer and ask for it. Many dealers import upon request.
OliveOyl Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 The guy I'm seeing is about 45 minutes away. He's driven the whole way to see me most of the time, although recently we met nearly halfway in the bigger city in between us. I want to drive up to his area and have told him this, but he's working on getting his house cleaned up enough first.. In any case the distance is not too bad (I'm assuming, since I haven't driven it yet!), and because of us both being single parents, we can only manage seeing each other in person at most once a week right now.
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