B00U Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 I was with my girlfriend fot just over 2 years and i thought everything was going well. It was a long distance relationship, but it seemed to work well for us and we would talk every day. Every time we saw eachother, it was always really special and we loved every moment. Over the past couple of months we have argued a bit, but still seemed to come through it without any problems. Then one day she tells me that her best friend who is a girl seems to be ignoring her a bit and so she spends most breaks with this guy. I felt a little uneasy at first, but could never imagine her cheating on me, because we seemed to completely in love with eachother. Anyway the day before she was supposed to come and see me at the end of April, she told me that she was not sure if she loved me anymore and that maybe we should end it, but that she still really wanted to come. When i picked her up she came back to mine to spend the week together and the first few days we didnt do anything like that but mostly went out to see things and talked about it. She could see i was sad that we were breaking up though and i asked while we were together if we could maybe try one last time to see if we could work it out. She agreed and we were together again for the remainder of that week like nothing ever happend (even the sexual relationship was back on like normal) We went to visit places, spent a lot of money and had a great time. When it was time for her to go back she said we should just take a break and not break up to see if we can get back together before summer. Obviously i was happy because i knew there was a chance to salvage our realtionship, especially after the amazing time we had. When she got back home, two days later she went to a party and i texted her, she ignored me completely. I was genuinely worried about her and she back to her house the day after the party and told me that she wanted me to leave her alone and there is no chance at all for us. I was completely destroyed, especially knowing we had just had a great time together. I have felt bad all week and then yesterday i logged onto my facebook and saw that during the time i was there, she had put that she is in a relationship with that guy who was supposed to be just her friend. Its only been one week! Im feeling awful now and she knows that i have exams starting tomorrow!! Please help, thanks
Gisele Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 Im really really sorry you have to go through this She didn't treat you decently towards the end, she owed it to you not to play hot and cold with you, especially after 2 years together Im going to sound like such a mother goose here, but first thing you should do is go no contact. Completely. She won't be swayed right now at all, and i feel terrible being this harsh with you so soon after (i really do, i've been in your shoes and they hurt like a bitch) but keep telling yourself 'if she wants to talk to me, she will' No facebook. Block her. No looking at old letters/texts Until your exams are finished, she doesn't exist. Ok? Don't compromise your academic career for her. You actually have a great distraction because you have the added stress of exams (im doing some at the minute too) and you should use it. Get through your exams, study your ass off, and when they're over, you can look at the situation with a clear mind and not have another worry that you've lost her AND failed i know how hard it is to concentrate on anything else but her and her new guy, but you can do it. Just give it your all And remember: if she contacts you, DO NOT RESPOND. You don't need to hear it right now, it won't help and if anything, it'll let her taste her own medicine Best of luck. Venting on here when you have the time will really help
Ginger Beer Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 Sorry to hear this. I hope you're not feeling too bad. I have nothing constructive to say but I really do sympathise with you atm.
Kodo Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 Add 1 year to your relationship and remove the long distance part and you have the same issue as me when I first broke up with my ex 2 years ago. So I know it is the worst ****ing thing you will ever experience. I know what it feels like. It's not going to get easier anytime soon. It's going to take time. I honestly wish I had the words to make you feel better. I can only tell you you're not alone. And any other bad things in life just won't compare to this. Seriously there is just something missing in the heads of girls like her. There really is.
Maxish Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 Going though the same thing atm add another 2.5 years. Evey thing was fine and wouldn't of changed a thing about our relationship then out of know where she left it hurts try and go NC on it. It's hard but the more you try and change things the more you keep hurting just try and stay busy. It dose get better its been 2 months and i still miss and love her but i can feel myself healing but ive been on and off NC in those too months i just miss her too much hang in there your not alone.
token09 Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 Add 4 years onto that and the fact that she had been wanting to move in with me for the last 3 years. When i was finally getting to a point of wanting to ask her to move in (after i moved out of my parents last year), she tells me she kissed a guy from her work that i had warned her about after she told me they were just friends. Spent nearly 4 months going to see her every weekend, taking her away for her birthday, being at things for her to show her i wanted it all now, and she tells me she doesnt love me anymore. I find out she's still been spending time with him, and they are now officially a couple. Stupid over here still hasnt been able to complete NC, still phone her and beg her to come back, and still tell her i love her everyday. Not so proud of myself right now.
Maxish Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 Add 4 years onto that and the fact that she had been wanting to move in with me for the last 3 years. When i was finally getting to a point of wanting to ask her to move in (after i moved out of my parents last year), she tells me she kissed a guy from her work that i had warned her about after she told me they were just friends. Spent nearly 4 months going to see her every weekend, taking her away for her birthday, being at things for her to show her i wanted it all now, and she tells me she doesnt love me anymore. I find out she's still been spending time with him, and they are now officially a couple. Stupid over here still hasnt been able to complete NC, still phone her and beg her to come back, and still tell her i love her everyday. Not so proud of myself right now. Don't feel stupid it's not your fault your trying too save what you had and put so much effort and time into. just try and accept that you can't change a thing and if you do want her back now's not the time cause if you do it will be the exactly the same as those last 4 months hang in there.
token09 Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 Don't feel stupid it's not your fault your trying too save what you had and put so much effort and time into. just try and accept that you can't change a thing and if you do want her back now's not the time cause if you do it will be the exactly the same as those last 4 months hang in there. I am trying to do 30 days NC from today.....so far i have lasted 4 hours and counting. I love the girl so much and last night i told her i wanted to start a family in the near future, and ideally it would be with her because i think she would make the perfect mother. Her response was how soon is soon!?
Author B00U Posted May 17, 2011 Author Posted May 17, 2011 Im sorry for all you guys, at least there may seem to be some small comfort in the fact that we are all going through a similar phase. Try the NC as much as you can and maybe she will miss what you had and come back to you. If she doesnt, then she is not worth the hassle and clearly does not deserve the efforts you are prepared to take to try and get her back. I will do the NC thing and have been doing for a few days now. I was planning to ask her to marry me too, i had even bought rose petals and candles to do it. Sorry again for you guys, at least we can maybe help eachother out.
token09 Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 Im sorry for all you guys, at least there may seem to be some small comfort in the fact that we are all going through a similar phase. Try the NC as much as you can and maybe she will miss what you had and come back to you. If she doesnt, then she is not worth the hassle and clearly does not deserve the efforts you are prepared to take to try and get her back. I will do the NC thing and have been doing for a few days now. I was planning to ask her to marry me too, i had even bought rose petals and candles to do it. Sorry again for you guys, at least we can maybe help eachother out. B00U, I know where you are coming from. As i said i had planned to ask her to move in late last year and also i was planning to ask her to marry me later this year once we had spent time living together. she just got fed up waiting for me. But lets try and get through this together, and look to move onto the next stage in life soon
Author B00U Posted May 17, 2011 Author Posted May 17, 2011 Yeh i agree, it sounds like the best idea. I will try to move on, but i have exams starting tomorrow and she posted that she was in a relationship on facebook only yesterday. She knew i had exams starting tomorrow and im sure she is just either trying to make me suffer or make me jealous.
token09 Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 I went through that as well, and i am now about 4months further behind on my PhD work. I even told her at one point that i would give up on my PhD to be with her. And you know what, stupid as i am, i still would. But the sane people on here are definitely correct. It's not worth ruining the rest of your life over. if you do happen to get back together, you don't want to have messed up your exams just because of this. and if you don't end up back together, you don't want to lose her and mess up your life even more by screwing up your exams. Work like a bear to do the best you can with the exams and you know what, she will still be around after that to worry about, i'll guarantee you that. but right now you'll prob get nowhere with her anyway so use this as a chance to enforce NC and do something for you.
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