Author fetish Posted May 24, 2011 Author Posted May 24, 2011 Summary: You DO NOT want to know anything about your ex after a break up. Isn't this so true. Although i'm still in the process of trying to get over mine, i think i would lose it and be back to day 1 if i found out she was seeing someone else. I know that's part of breaking up, and it will happen eventually, they move on. I just don't want to be around to see it.
yolatanga Posted May 25, 2011 Posted May 25, 2011 For Yolatanga.. In a dream you must always note your feelings...The events in a dream are hardly ever the actual thing...Usually to dream about the death of an ex, suggests that you are lacking a certain aspect or quality that the loved one embodies. Ask yourself what you liked about him, it is often that very quality that you are lacking in your own circumstances and it could also be a reason why you can't let go. Alternatively, the dream indicates that whatever your ex represents has no part in your own life anymore. Hope this is helpful.... Sorry I didn't see this response sooner. Not sure what to think about that dream. Right now I hope to never see him again and I'm ashamed I wasted so much of my life on this abusive man. I wasted 7 mos. crying with no closure. He sent me money instead and would never speak to me in public. That confused me big time. He would litterly stand right next to me and would not say a word. Finally one night he was proving what a jerk he is because he purposely tried to make a fool out of me by flirting with these two girls and pointing me out to them. I lost it. I went right over to them and said "hello and if I were you, I'd head for the hills. This man is a violent abusive p**ck". I turned and walked out. Of course I felt bad since I lowered myself to his level. I finally got to the mad stage and sent him a scathing e-mail. He responded. I didn't open it. I trashed it. A week later he saw me with a guy (a friend). I was having a good time and handled myself like I normally do. Ex just ordered a drink. He walked out. He couldn't drink his drink. That means one of two things. He's mad (always) or he couldn't handle seeing me with a guy. Fast forward to this week. I got a message about a bill for my car that he was supposed to pay for months ago. He has decided not to pay it 3 mos later. He was sent 3 bills. He ignored them apparently. He never does that. The odd thing is that the phone call he made to the car shop, he recorded it on my voicemail. WTH? At first I agreed to just pay it. Then I thought better. I left him a vm that he's just trying to get revenge and I will not pay the bill you already agreed you would pay. I have the e-mails to prove it if need be. Sorry to vent. This man violently ended our relationship, put me in harms way, had to call the police on him. He hired a lawyer to break up with me and kick me out of our home and I dare stand up for myself for once, he can't handle it? Something wrong with this picture. I'm still in shock. He still took care of me for over 6 mos. Why? He's not been around and I'm back to wondering where he is, whom he is with..etc. Someone smack me. I have to keep reminding myself what a weak man he is.
Author fetish Posted June 9, 2011 Author Posted June 9, 2011 well this friday will be 4 months and i still have struggle. it may take a while. anyone think 4 months is too soon to try to start dating again?
PelicanPete Posted June 9, 2011 Posted June 9, 2011 Together 4 years, indifferent after 5 months. Write down your thoughts and feelings in a journal whenever you feel like writing. It's a way of organizing and identifying all of your emotions, and a way of understanding why it happened. So instead of wandering in circles tripping over two or three ideas entangled in your mind, you're able to develop a sense of direction and growth by analyzing your progress and getting it out of your system in a healthy way. Once you understand why it took place and got all of the pain out of your system, there's nothing left to hold onto and your able to move on.
Ghosst Posted June 9, 2011 Posted June 9, 2011 Well, I think it depends on a lot of variables: -your self-esteem -the length of your relationship -your mental state at time of break up -how many relationships you have had before your current one -your current age and maturity -your general attractiveness and ability to attract new people in your life -did you break up/make up many times before it was finally over I was with my ex-husband 18 years when I left....we had a rocky relationship but we both hung in there. It took 3 years. I will always be found of our times together. I was with my ex-boyfriend on/off over 2 years.....I broke it off in January....in March he asked me to marry him.....it is still a struggle every day....I hope to wake without thoughts of him each morning....after 4 months he is still a part of me. I will always love him, and after talking with him yesterday after 2 months of NC, I believe he will always love me. Anyways too many variables to accurately get a number. Statistical analysis is complicated.
Author fetish Posted June 9, 2011 Author Posted June 9, 2011 it is difficult. the link to the article in my opening post in this thread says relationships 4 years or longer can take as much as 18 months or longer to get over. I was with mine for 8 and still trying to find my footing and acceptance that she's no longer apart of my life. She'll send texts here in there but she's just trying to make sure i don't forget her.
WiselyNaive Posted June 9, 2011 Posted June 9, 2011 first boyfriend ever took me an entire year & we were together for 7 months exactly , lol im guessing it was the 1st love bug? or the fact that he strung me along for a year -.- second ex was about 3 months official..but there were tidbits in the past and tomorrow makes 3 months since , this ex was different we completely erased each other...no stringing along..no contact since breakup...i feel like im pretty much over it...but there was no closure so who knows
brokenhart Posted June 9, 2011 Posted June 9, 2011 lived together over 7 years. Been apart over 2 years and I'm still not over him. We have started talking as friends again though, about 4 months ago.
wilsonx Posted June 9, 2011 Posted June 9, 2011 You shouldnt be talking as friends if you arent over them
frankidos Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 Typically, was the clause the article used. But in general I don't think that most individuals really take that long to heal from a normal breakup but a divorce issue might be somewhat different especially depending on how amorous the relationship was and how long it actually lasted.
Author fetish Posted June 10, 2011 Author Posted June 10, 2011 Typically, was the clause the article used. But in general I don't think that most individuals really take that long to heal from a normal breakup but a divorce issue might be somewhat different especially depending on how amorous the relationship was and how long it actually lasted. well, it has been said that relationships lasting 4 yrs or longer can take 18+ months, and anything below that, the number goes down.
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