fetish Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 Hey LS. Just curious, How long did it take for you to get over your ex. Include how long you were together too. As for me, my most recent relationship of 8 years, getting over it is still under construction but I'm doing much better than when it happened. Still have moments but i've been doing alot like going to the gym and songwriting. Check out the link to the article below, they say according to a study, a typical relationship lasting 4 years or more can take 18 months or more to get over? http://www.thefrisky.com/post/246-how-long-does-it-take-to-get-over-an-ex/
nana841121 Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 Present my personal experience. i was with my ex for 6 months. and it has already been 5 months since the breakup. I don't think i love him. but i am still obsessive about him. He did so many astonishing things which keeps shocking me. i am baffled how could i let him get into my life in the first place.
Star Gazer Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 Together about 19 months, probably was over him in 6.
nessaaa Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 The one I was with for a year took me 5 yrs to FULLY get over..because I seen him all the time at school.
nana841121 Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 During the five years after the breakup, you always had feeling for him?
Strength of Heart Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 Two and a half year relationship, at three months I can say that I, for the most part, am over my ex. Indifference is a better word. What helped me was the fact that she was so unhealthy for me and our relationship was so destructive, the unhealthiness of it has been a major turn off in my mind.
skibum Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 well back in high school I dated my first gf for 3 months, she broke it off and it took me a full 4-5 months to get over. But that was just a pathetic showing of me being young and first dump ever. I started dating another girl which helped me get out over the old one and me and her dated for 5 and a half years. Now she broke up with me a month ago and I have no effing clue how long it is going to take. I imagine a looooooooooooooong time
nessaaa Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 During the five years after the breakup, you always had feeling for him? Yea, he was my first love. And then we got back together broke up and it took me another year to get over him
smudge21 Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 Still working on NC with current ex but I know from a past one many years back that that took me a good 6 months at least. It didn't help that we worked together, and even when I moved to another city, it was still through the same company so obviously I still got to hear things about her. I think when you're still in close contact with an ex you can easily expect to double the recovery time, and more.
AmericanHoney Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 I am still getting over him. It doesn't help that when a particular song comes on or I go past our favorite restaurant I still think about him.
nana841121 Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 Two and a half year relationship, at three months I can say that I, for the most part, am over my ex. Indifference is a better word. What helped me was the fact that she was so unhealthy for me and our relationship was so destructive, the unhealthiness of it has been a major turn off in my mind. My ex is not good for me. But i think the reason that my healing process is longer than the relationship per se is i wasted several months on a tacky person. His tackiness is beyond my imagination, which keeps puzzling me how could i accept his suit in the first place
nana841121 Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 Yea, he was my first love. And then we got back together broke up and it took me another year to get over him You can blame the situation partly. out of sight, out of mind. you bump into him each day, it's harder to get rid of him mentally
vsmini Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 I was the standard equation. It took me half the time we were together to get over him. 18 months together, 9 months to get over him. Would have been 5 or 6 but I didn't stick to no contact, dragged it out by trying to be "friends" and we worked together for 4 months after the breakup until he left the company. So I slowed my healing way down with all of that.
fun2bewith Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 Took 4 Years ...in that time I was broke, got robbed, mugged my dog died, my grandfather died and I had no Job... That was the worst break-up of my life...It took me 4 years before I could even look at her photos.....
Kodo Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 After my ex broke up with me after 3 years... I don't think I was over her when she called me nearly a year later to get back together. Been 3 weeks since, I don't know how long it will take this time. :/
yolatanga Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 I'm still grieving after 7 mos. Was in an 8 yr relationship. My ex was verbally abusive and was prone to violent hizzy fits where he would break everything in the house. That was how we broke up. I finally had to call the cops on him for fear he was going to beat the crap out of me or kill me. I moved out and for the past 7 mos. he would still pay my salary, insurance and would send my friends about me or sending me e-mails asking. Meanwhile, in public he would not speak to me. I went to his house once to talk. He threatened to call the cops. Talk about mixed messages. Now I'm no longer financially tied to him, it's like breaking up all over again. Why did he want to care about me for all that time when he wanted nothing to do with me? Guilt. Now I just found out the other day that he was with someone either before or right after the break up. I flipped out. I was so angry. I called him and sent him a scathing e-mail. He responded to my e-mail. I didn't open it and trashed it. I'm done. I'm done crying. I can't believe I morned such a loser. I felt like it was me. What did I do to deserve being treated this way. Ugggh!! I ran into him right after I smashed him and I was with a good looking guy (just a friend). He had just ordered a drink. He took one sip and left. I was happy. Hope he feels like crap. I had a dream last night he died and I was at his funeral. It was so vivid. Wonder what that means? Ok, whom I kidding? I'm still not over it. Feels good to come here and vent and know I'm not the only one. I wanted him to come back and tell me he was sorry and loved me. I got money instead. That makes him a stand up guy I'm told. Really? That I'm having issue with. Thoughts?
sun_moon Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 Two and a half year relationship, at three months I can say that I, for the most part, am over my ex. Indifference is a better word. What helped me was the fact that she was so unhealthy for me and our relationship was so destructive, the unhealthiness of it has been a major turn off in my mind. I can totally relate to that, I hope I get to where you are, I'm so impatient. I was with him 2 years, I'm still very much a mess but I pray by the 3 month mark or before, I am fine. Our relationship was not healthy, HELL, he is emotionally and mentally very unhealthy for me OR anyone else.
fun2bewith Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 For Yolatanga.. I had a dream last night he died and I was at his funeral. It was so vivid. Wonder what that means? In a dream you must always note your feelings...The events in a dream are hardly ever the actual thing...Usually to dream about the death of an ex, suggests that you are lacking a certain aspect or quality that the loved one embodies. Ask yourself what you liked about him, it is often that very quality that you are lacking in your own circumstances and it could also be a reason why you can't let go. Alternatively, the dream indicates that whatever your ex represents has no part in your own life anymore. Hope this is helpful....
Author fetish Posted May 23, 2011 Author Posted May 23, 2011 Hey all, I haven't really been checking up on this thread. So what i'm reading is that it usually take between 6-18 months on an average. I know healing times are different for people. Me personally, i'm starting to see the light. It's almost been 4 months and might backslide a tad, but i'm slowly regaining my confidence and feeling good enough to socialize with other people.
D-Lish Posted May 23, 2011 Posted May 23, 2011 Hey LS. Just curious, How long did it take for you to get over your ex. Include how long you were together too. As for me, my most recent relationship of 8 years, getting over it is still under construction but I'm doing much better than when it happened. Still have moments but i've been doing alot like going to the gym and songwriting. Check out the link to the article below, they say according to a study, a typical relationship lasting 4 years or more can take 18 months or more to get over? http://www.thefrisky.com/post/246-how-long-does-it-take-to-get-over-an-ex/ My relationship with my exH was more than 8 years in total. It probably took me a couple of years to get over HIM, but the lingering baggage is still with me. I now have insane trust and self esteem issues to deal with (he cheated). I got over him in due time, but the aftermath in terms of the baggage I brought forward still plays a huge role in how I interact romantically now- and it's been over 8 years since I left him upon finding out he cheated. All that pain and suffering that followed losing someone I loved made me afraid to love someone again for fear that I could end up in the same place again someday. You can get over someone, but that doesn't mean things go back to normal.
Author fetish Posted May 23, 2011 Author Posted May 23, 2011 i can only imagine. It's already hard enough just losing the person but when they betray you in anyway whether it be lying, cheating, addiction, it makes the sting "sting" more. I've learned that love is great but still a risky business. After it fizzles out there's all kinds of things, from the intense heartbreak to the self doubt/low self esteem, and most of all, trying to find yourself again ( but that actually can be a good thing)
Rosa Tamora Posted May 24, 2011 Posted May 24, 2011 had the best looking forearms I had seen in a while. That was when I knew I was starting to get over my ex. We dated for 2 years, 9 month. Broke up March 15th. I still think of him, especially during dinner time, but it's getting less and less...and I don'tcry when I think of him anymore.I must be on my way to getting over him. At this point, a little over two months since breaking up, I feel like what we had together was just a distant, vague dream. It's odd, isn't it, how that happens.
Lilmisus Posted May 24, 2011 Posted May 24, 2011 Together for a year, been two months, still not over him I really just wanted to share, that I absolutely love thefrisky.com. It's been my one of my favorite sites for almost a year now, and it's how I found out about LS
RecordProducer Posted May 24, 2011 Posted May 24, 2011 The one I was with for a year took me 5 yrs to FULLY get over..because I seen him all the time at school.Communication after a breakup is sabotaging any healing "under construction," as you called it. I made that mistake and wasted two years I could have used to heal and been over him by now. So, I am still in the process of getting over. We were together for three years. Another ex (also spent three years together), it took me two years of very minimal contact to get over him completely.
Andymack Posted May 24, 2011 Posted May 24, 2011 Communication after a breakup is sabotaging any healing "under construction," as you called it. I made that mistake and wasted two years I could have used to heal and been over him by now. So, I am still in the process of getting over. We were together for three years. Another ex (also spent three years together), it took me two years of very minimal contact to get over him completely. This is sooooooo true. I found this out the hard way last weekend as I saw her and her friends in a bar. I saw her and said hi and she just looked like a rabbit caught in the headlights and near enough ran away. After seeing her friends out in the smoking area one of her friends let slip she is seeing someone else (probably explains the rabbit n headlamps look) and it's basically put me back to square one where I'm not eating or sleeping properly. This is after 10 months having gone out with her for two years. Summary: You DO NOT want to know anything about your ex after a break up.
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