hurley21 Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 I try to be a golden rule type of person. I figured I'd be the bigger person and help my ex relocate an hour and a half away. He is verbally abusive, but ironically dumped me. Anyway it's the night before I'm supposed to drive him down and help him get a car of his own and he goes off on me. Told me the usual hateful things? I figured it's because he knows he can treat me like shut and my good hearted nature will force me to help him anyway. I can only think that is the reason why he wouldn't atleast fake being nice until I helped him. I am so angry I want to just kick him out and tell him goodluck, however I know I'd feel guilty. What is wrong with me? I feel pathetic.
Desensitized Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 I try to be a golden rule type of person. I figured I'd be the bigger person and help my ex relocate an hour and a half away. He is verbally abusive, but ironically dumped me. Anyway it's the night before I'm supposed to drive him down and help him get a car of his own and he goes off on me. Told me the usual hateful things? I figured it's because he knows he can treat me like shut and my good hearted nature will force me to help him anyway. I can only think that is the reason why he wouldn't atleast fake being nice until I helped him. I am so angry I want to just kick him out and tell him goodluck, however I know I'd feel guilty. What is wrong with me? I feel pathetic. How would it make you a bad person? You sound like a genuinely nice girl, but "too" much nice will get you in trouble. Don't let people take advantage of you, kick that idiot to the curb.
Kari Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 Don't let him take advantage of you. You have a big heart, it's wonderful, but don't allow yourself to be a doormat. I would go straight NC and not bother helping him. He will look back on what he lost, and you will be too busy moving on and being happy.
Sugarkane Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 My ex is exactly the same too. Please don't help him, you'll only set yourself back. Please NC, NC, NC. He doesn't deserve you at all.
nana841121 Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 You should not let anybody treat you like that. we are only nice to who respect us. Set your boundary and teach him how to behave himself From now on, be tough.
Kodo Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 It doesn't make you a bad person at all. It makes you a good person. Unfortunately it makes you a good person who is allowing someone else to take advantage. Don't. Let him move himself, he's a grown man and if he isn't capable of doing things alone, he shouldn't have broken up. Carry things out to the car for him and leave it at that.
Ghosst Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 I try to be a golden rule type of person. I figured I'd be the bigger person and help my ex relocate an hour and a half away. He is verbally abusive, but ironically dumped me. Anyway it's the night before I'm supposed to drive him down and help him get a car of his own and he goes off on me. Told me the usual hateful things? I figured it's because he knows he can treat me like shut and my good hearted nature will force me to help him anyway. I can only think that is the reason why he wouldn't atleast fake being nice until I helped him. I am so angry I want to just kick him out and tell him goodluck, however I know I'd feel guilty. What is wrong with me? I feel pathetic. Firstly, he dumped you. When he did that he gave up the right to expect you to be nice to him in any way. If he says rude things you have no reason to be nice or reasonable, or try to placate him to secure your relationship.....it is over and he is no longer important in your life. Hold on to your anger for him and kick him out. Don't lose any sleep over it either. People who love you or at least care about you do not abuse you. Take all the kind thoughts you have and be nice to you first
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