start-fresh Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 I've never really been in this position before. I don't have a lot of relationship experience, but I broke up with my girlfriend of 3 months when I chose to move cross country for a job. She has since moved on but I'm desperately pining for her now. In fact, I'm desperate period. I hate that she was in love with me but I broke it off because I was uncertain how the future would work out. And now, I don't see any potential love interests on the horizon, and I'm so desperate that nothing will be able to develop in my current state. I really only have one friend and have been having a hard time connecting with people. So how do I get over this? I'm a small town guy in a big city now and I feel so unmasculine all the time. I don't have any friends to shoot guns with or fix something with. I've never felt such a lack of masculinity. I want to be desired by someone, to be special to someone and I feel like it's never going to happen. Don't say to go get a one night stand because I've never been good at that. I'm so inexperienced I could never pull it off. I'm almost having a mental breakdown or something here.
jj88 Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 Are you sure you are actually pining after this girl, or is it out of pure loneliness? It is completely understandable to be lonely in a big city, especially if you are from a small town. (Same for me)... The best thing you can do is to make some friends, go out and DO things in your new town. Go to museums, or shows, etc. You will make new friends, and meet new potential people to date as well. Hate that you are feeling so lonely, as I KNOW that feeling. But when you do start making friends, it WILL get better. Good luck...
Author start-fresh Posted May 17, 2011 Author Posted May 17, 2011 I'm sure some of it's loneliness, but she was great in a lot of ways and I just kick myself for the breakup. Also, I hate how it's so much easier for her to move on to the next guy in line while I feel like a pathetic loser now with nobody. The whole move was kind of a poor choice to make, as I've made myself unhappy and lost more good things than I gained in the process. Lots of hard lessons learned.
Eddie Edirol Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 So are you going to LEARN how to be a big city guy, or are you just going to sit at home feeling sorry for yourself? Usually people would say they dont see any prospects moving to a small city, but youve mnoved to a BIG city, theres no excuses, you have to keep trying to find someone new, and you have to forget avbout your ex - AND stop comparing new women to her. You COULD find someone you like, you just have to stop stalling and do it. in a big city, it takes work to find the one you want, and adjustment to get used to it.
Recommended Posts