NTT148 Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 I have been in a very healthy relationship with a girl for 3 years now, I know her family, she knows mine, both families love us, and we're going into our 4th year of university. The thing is... we're both each other's first serious relationship... I personally haven't had a problem ever really, just once in a while i'll think about "what if" there's someone else out there, but i really don't want to end our relationship because i love her so much! and our relationship has progressed far... at the same time i don't want to stick to this relationship just for convenience sake (i mean we know each other's families very well... we're comfortable with each other, everything's working out so well!!!)... I have talked to her about this once or twice in the past... and she says she wonders once in a while too about 'what if' another person... and we both concluded that as long as we're still attracted to one another there isn't any reason to end it... we lived together in the same apartment in 3rd year university... and it just feels strange waking up sometimes and looking over and thinking... this is who i'll be sleeping next to for the rest of my life... i don't know what to do or how to overcome this, i sort of want to 'look around' before finalizing my decision, but at the same time i don't want to destroy what we have because it's so much already, any suggestions?
CrestfallenNoMore Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 My (personal) experience is that this feeling won't go away, but will only get amplified the deeper the relationship progresses. I'm not suggesting that you break up - I don't really have any advice for you. I'm just giving you one data point.
utterer of lies Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 You might agree that everyone gets the right to sleep around once. Then there'll be tons of drama, tears and fury, and in the end you find out if you are made for each other or not.
darkangel001 Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 Im in the same position with my boyfriend. From the gf point of view- if you really love her then you should do something about it. My bf is very reluctant to take a break to work stuff out- and so am I - I don't think I can handle seeing him with someone else- especially as we live together. However, if both of you feel the same then maybe you should rework your relationship- and let both of you allowed to date(with/out sex) and see how it goes. Just remember taking this step might mean you can't go back to how things were...
Kari Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 I posted in your other topic. I agree with most of the advice given here. If you do decide to date others, you cannot expect your girlfriend to be waiting. Make sure that you would be willing to sacrifice what you have now.
Author NTT148 Posted May 17, 2011 Author Posted May 17, 2011 Thanks for the suggestions everyone!!!! I think i'll just talk to her again and see how she feels about all of this again..... In the end I don't think its worth breaking up over, because I'm still happy in the relationship and enjoying myself and so is she, its just that rare once in a while 'what if' thought, and i was wondering if there were any ways to figure something out with keeping things as is... but if it leads to the relationship not being the same anymore.... then i would rather not...
phillyfan Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 Thanks for the suggestions everyone!!!! I think i'll just talk to her again and see how she feels about all of this again..... In the end I don't think its worth breaking up over, because I'm still happy in the relationship and enjoying myself and so is she, its just that rare once in a while 'what if' thought, and i was wondering if there were any ways to figure something out with keeping things as is... but if it leads to the relationship not being the same anymore.... then i would rather not... Dude its all choices. U can choose bein single n playin the field, or u can choose a life wit ur girl. But anywayThere aint no in between. U start sayin this stuff to her, this perfect relationship of urs is gonna get tainted n it wont be so good, itll be kinda spoiled. But yea i understand where ur comin from i had a LOT of fun in my 20s LOL. So just know its one or the otha, u cant have both n dont put her thru that.
Eeyore79 Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 You can't have your cake and eat it; you basically have a choice between staying in your relationship or giving it up so you can sleep around. Personally I wouldn't sacrifice a great relationship just to play the field for a while - I know that genuine love is a rare thing and I'd do anything to keep it. If you were more experienced you might realize that great relationships are rare, and you'd be more keen to hang onto this one... but I bet you think you can easily find another great relationship, hmm? Boy are you in for a shock! If your relationship is truly great then in the future you will kick yourself if you give it up, especially if you never meet anyone else who's anywhere near as great. It's your call, but I think you're stupid if you give up a good relationship - some people spend their whole lives searching for what you have.
Author NTT148 Posted May 18, 2011 Author Posted May 18, 2011 (edited) Yeah okay, you've all convinced me that this relationship is great, and that i shouldn't even slightly consider leaving it to see what else there is as long as it continues to be great... what triggered this is i had a friend who had a gf and got engaged to her and then they broke up, and when i asked why... he said he couldn't get married to her not knowing FOR SURE that what he had with her was true love... so in HIS case, he would rather know for sure that what he had was true love and risk losing the girl whom may be the only one he will ever have that feeling with... as opposed to not knowing and keeping what they have and only hoping that what they had was true love.... in my case, in the end i don't think i'd risk it.... Edited May 18, 2011 by NTT148
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