Sugarkane Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 excatly my point, a woman womans support/social network is much much broader and deeper then a guys in most scenarios, 9 times out of 10 guys LOSE this game ! Not always true. After my ex did a 180 on me and dumped and insulted me by text. He somehow made out that he was the victim! He poisoned everyone against me and they all cut me off. I hope he screws them all over, like he did to me. Even though I'm the woman and the dumpee, nobody cared at all and took his side anyway.
nessaaa Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 Wow. I was just thinking about this too I have been trying to take the high road since the beginning of the breakup..for the most part. Apparently me even talking about others about the breakup with him was enough of a way to say "f you!" to him. My mom told me though what a few people have said..being truly happy is the biggest revenge that you can give someone. I've been trying to go by that, and for the most part it works! Not only is it a good revenge tactic, it's a great way to find out more about yourself and to be a better person. But regardless, one of my closest friends gave me the ultimate revenge that I could give my ex. Not so much him, but the chick that screwed our relationship over. My friend and my ex are pretty good friends. He's always asking about her and her recent breakup from her boyfriend of 4 years, and they're always talking and joking around. She has zero interest in him, and I know without a doubt that she would never do anything to hurt me, but when I told her today that his new girlfriend made their relationship Facebook official, she said that she could break them up if she wanted to. When I asked how, she said that all she'd have to do was get a few drinks in both of them and make out with him. Something, I know he'd be all for, since my friend is pretty great looking and he thinks highly of her. She said she could even do it tonight if she chose to, since he invited her to the strip club I am extremely tempted to take her up on this offer. She wouldn't start anything more with him, I know that, since I trust her not to do anything to hurt me (which I said it wouldn't do, it would just make me love her more). It would just feel good to get revenge on the girl who caused all my pain and distress these past couple of months. Plus, she hates her, so she's totally for it. But..the high road..is the best road..sadly. I'm just leaving this in my friend's hands for right now. Ohhh thats so good, let her do it.
RareBreed Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 Wow. I was just thinking about this too I have been trying to take the high road since the beginning of the breakup..for the most part. Apparently me even talking about others about the breakup with him was enough of a way to say "f you!" to him. My mom told me though what a few people have said..being truly happy is the biggest revenge that you can give someone. I've been trying to go by that, and for the most part it works! Not only is it a good revenge tactic, it's a great way to find out more about yourself and to be a better person. But regardless, one of my closest friends gave me the ultimate revenge that I could give my ex. Not so much him, but the chick that screwed our relationship over. My friend and my ex are pretty good friends. He's always asking about her and her recent breakup from her boyfriend of 4 years, and they're always talking and joking around. She has zero interest in him, and I know without a doubt that she would never do anything to hurt me, but when I told her today that his new girlfriend made their relationship Facebook official, she said that she could break them up if she wanted to. When I asked how, she said that all she'd have to do was get a few drinks in both of them and make out with him. Something, I know he'd be all for, since my friend is pretty great looking and he thinks highly of her. She said she could even do it tonight if she chose to, since he invited her to the strip club I am extremely tempted to take her up on this offer. She wouldn't start anything more with him, I know that, since I trust her not to do anything to hurt me (which I said it wouldn't do, it would just make me love her more). It would just feel good to get revenge on the girl who caused all my pain and distress these past couple of months. Plus, she hates her, so she's totally for it. But..the high road..is the best road..sadly. I'm just leaving this in my friend's hands for right now. - That Would be EPIC.
Lilmisus Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 Wow. That is extremely subtle and devious of you - I think I'm in love... XD Ohhh thats so good, let her do it. You have no idea how tempted I am to let her do it. But since we all work together, I don't want others hating on her since most people there love her to death, and I'd hate to drag her into the drama right before I quit. But when I consider that most people there hate my ex's new girlfriend, I know that they'd be secretly high-fiving my friend if she split them up. Especially since most people there can't believe how much he screwed me over, and are on my side about the whole breakup. Mmmm. Temptation, temptation...I love it, though it's oh so wrong..
vsmini Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 After the breakup I was infuriated. I felt that I had been taken for a ride and truly thought this guy was a sick human being. He was preparing for med school interviews during the breakup and would often bring his suit into the office as he would fly out of town right from work. So many times I thought about spraying it down with bleach - only for him to find out his suit was destroyed probably while getting dressed an hour before the interview. But I knew it was just too horrible a thing to do and would probably only justify in his mind his right for dumping me as horribly as he did. I daydreamed over all the things I wanted to do but knew I could never do them. Did I have the chance and opportunity? Oh yea - many times. But it would have just ended in disaster and set me way back in healing.
Sugarkane Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 I daydreamed about taking a baseball bat to my exes prized posessions: his car and his expensive computer. I would do it while listening to Stockholm Syndrome by Muse, because its an angry song. It wouldn't matter coz I never saw my ex or anyone else ever again. The only thing that stopped was getting a criminal record.
nana841121 Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 Yes, guys in the forum said the words of my mind. Think about it is one thing , act on it is another. My ex is a douchebag who violated his professional ethical by dating a freshman in college as a teacher. I feel disgusting about his mixed attitude towards me, he even trashed his current GF in front of me. what a twisted mind. i will not sink to his level. i walk away from him immediately although i have dreamed various ways of insulting and cursing him. a piece of sh**!
collegeguy_24 Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 Yes, guys in the forum said the words of my mind. Think about it is one thing , act on it is another. I agree. If I wanted to, I mean really wanted to, I could ruin my exes life for good. I could ruin her chances of ever finding work in the future, I could ruin any and all future relationships (Thats assuming you can call them relationships). I have so much dirt on her it would be so, so easy. But I won't. I'm to good for that. I will instead get my revenge by being more successful then what she will ever be able to achieve. I extended the hand of friendship, I put the ball in her court. Until the time comes, if the time comes, I will live my life as I see fit. Just like everyone else here. Live our lives the best we can.
melenkurion Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 There's an ugly part of me that would love to have vengeance on my ex, and the "friend" he cheated with. There is also another, sneakier part of me that would love to sit it out, wait for things to fall apart for him of their own accord and then gloat over the wreckage. But what's the point? If I schemed and "destroyed him", and he ends up feeling ten times worse than I ever felt, what then? It will not magically make me feel even a tiny bit better. I acknowledge that I have these dark wishes that sometimes surface, but I try and get past them. Revenge would keep me stuck in the past. I don't like it there any more.
sun_moon Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 Although I daydream about revenge and hurting him on a daily bases, its as far as it goes. I too cannot do it. Its not in my character to do that, it would be stooping to his level. i.e. him rubbing it in my face till no end that he has a new GF (stupid slut of a rebound) and telling me everything she is that i am not. I would rather pay revenge with kindness and guilt...I told him I was happy for him. I know he doesn't believe me, but I will try my hardest to keep that poker face ( I failed miserably many times....) and as my best friend told me many times, the best revenge is finding happiness one day and being happy, his time of misery will come because he didnt allow himself the time to mourn.
radiodarcy Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 nah... what would be the point? the relief that revenge would give me would be short-lived and besides - - i wouldn't wish the pain of rejection on anyone. not even him
WTRanger Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 Thinking about revenge is not healing. In fact it's healing with an anchor around you. Revenge is pointless, useless, and gets you no where. As a great man once said, "Before you embark on your journey of revenge, make sure you dig two graves."
DollyGirl12 Posted May 18, 2011 Posted May 18, 2011 Well, I think many have those thoughts going through our heads, especially if things end pretty badly. When I caught my ex bf doing what he was doing (emailing personals on craigslist and looking up escort services) I was deeply hurt, but yet infuriated. I did give him a piece of my mind, letting him know exactly what I thought of him (had also found out that he was doing these things with his previous ex). I had also told him I was going to report him for something. Something I would have never done, wish I had never even said it. Didn't want to stoop that low. Spoke on inpulse rather than thinking things out. I am also a bit older and I do realize that relationships come and go, people are not always who we think they are. Yes, you are allowed to feel angry when someone hurts you, but,,,,,,in the long run you just have to take things as they are. It's not about us, it's about them. Revenge really isn't worth it.
stephmichelle Posted May 18, 2011 Posted May 18, 2011 Absolutely. If I wouldn't get thrown in jail for it and God wouldn't punish me to the depths of hell for being so awful...yes I would get revenge! My ex has been completely terrible since our break up - he's acting like HE'S the victim and pointing all fingers at me. I've kept my mouth shut the whole time - if people knew some of the things that he's done, they would flip out. I would say about 85% of the people in his life, don't know the person he really is. I have letters, pictures, text messages that I could just let "slip out" into the public that would ruin his "perfect reputation" that he tries so hard to make people believe. I would also go Carrie Underwood on his Escalade that mommy and daddy bought for him. I would go crazy lol But he's not worth it, really. Which is why I've kept my mouth shut about all of the things he's done to me. I know in the long run, everything is going to catch back up with him. He may be telling people lies about me and trying to turn everyone against me - but all of MY friends and the people that I care about, know the TRUTH. And really, that's all that matters to me. There's a quote by Marilyn Monroe that I love "When it comes down to it, I let them think what they want. If they care enough to bother with what I do, then I'm already better than them.". I believe in Karma and eventually, maybe a couple years from now, our cruel exes will get what they deserve.
Chi townD Posted May 18, 2011 Posted May 18, 2011 Yep, I got my revenge. I went to college got my degree. I got a good paying job that is satisfying work. I have a house in the suburbs and a nice car. I've traveled all around the world. Ive seen the cliffs of Dover, the rainforests of Brazil, the sands of the Gobi Desert, the beautiful buildings and ruins in Rome, the industries of Tokyo. I stood on the banks of the Shannon River and seen the Fjords of Norway and many, many more adventures.....and she said I wouldn't amount to anything. I guess I would have to thank her. She gave me the motivation to prove her wrong.
WTRanger Posted May 18, 2011 Posted May 18, 2011 (edited) I believe in Karma and eventually, maybe a couple years from now, our cruel exes will get what they deserve. You don't believe in the same Karma as the rest of us then. Karma is NOT a tool of revenge. It is NOT a way to get back at someone for how they treated you. In fact, wishing negative Karma on someone is the best way to bring negative Karma back on you! What happens if something amazing happens in his life? So what did you do in the past? Obviously you are hurt now so what's this negative Karma on you for? Oh, wait, you just want bad Karma to happen to other people. I forget the standard view of Karma is that it always happens to other people if it's bad, and if it happens to you then it's only for good. You want the buffet style Karma. Pick the good stuff and leave the crap for the other people. Karma simply is the collection of unfulfilled experiences that stay in us and constantly pull us to fulfill them. The essence of the Karma theory is that: the totality of all your past is the present, and the totality of your present is your future. So this whole time while you wait for the Karma destroy your ex, you are simple stuck in the mire of your own insanity. The only person's Karma you should be concerned with is your own. That's it. You choose to keep these ex's in your minds with wasted energy thinking about revenge and fake Karma. You just don't get that everything you do in life is your choice and you have the power to change it. As long as you don't understand life is YOUR choice, your living is just paralysis. Edited May 18, 2011 by WTRanger
Fufu Posted May 18, 2011 Posted May 18, 2011 I won't revenge. If I do, it just speaks my character. Never revenge, at the end of the day you are the one getting the karma. It's the same as pointing finger at another person. You point a finger at a person, the rest of your fingers are pointing back at yourself.
sun_moon Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 Karma simply is the collection of unfulfilled experiences that stay in us and constantly pull us to fulfill them. The essence of the Karma theory is that: the totality of all your past is the present, and the totality of your present is your future. . Ah, I did not know that! I feel so enlightened, I too saw it the wrong way.
stephmichelle Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 (edited) You don't believe in the same Karma as the rest of us then. Karma is NOT a tool of revenge. It is NOT a way to get back at someone for how they treated you. In fact, wishing negative Karma on someone is the best way to bring negative Karma back on you! What happens if something amazing happens in his life? So what did you do in the past? Obviously you are hurt now so what's this negative Karma on you for? Oh, wait, you just want bad Karma to happen to other people. I forget the standard view of Karma is that it always happens to other people if it's bad, and if it happens to you then it's only for good. You want the buffet style Karma. Pick the good stuff and leave the crap for the other people. Karma simply is the collection of unfulfilled experiences that stay in us and constantly pull us to fulfill them. The essence of the Karma theory is that: the totality of all your past is the present, and the totality of your present is your future. So this whole time while you wait for the Karma destroy your ex, you are simple stuck in the mire of your own insanity. The only person's Karma you should be concerned with is your own. That's it. You choose to keep these ex's in your minds with wasted energy thinking about revenge and fake Karma. You just don't get that everything you do in life is your choice and you have the power to change it. As long as you don't understand life is YOUR choice, your living is just paralysis. Hm, thank you for assuming what I'm thinking and taking my words slightly out of context. Maybe I should've explained myself more. I never said karma was a tool of revenge - I do believe though that the way he's acted towards me, cruel and heartless, WILL eventually come back to him in some way or another someday in his life. Yes, he's also done some great things in our relationship and his life that I also think he'll be rewarded for with greatness. Both the good and bad will eventually catch up with him. I believe that what's happening to me right now might be karma from something bad I've done to someone in my past. I hurt a previous ex and left him when he wanted to work things out - a similar situation that happened to me just a few months ago with my current ex. I've since then apologized for the way I treated him and he's actually a very good friend of mine now. All of this could be happening because of how I acted years ago - who knows?! I've done a lot of awful things in the past that could be catching up with me now in my present day. I also believe that every good thing that happens to me is because of something good that I've done. So, I'm sorry but no "buffet style" karma here - I deserve the bad also. Everyone does, no one is perfect. We all deserve what we give out. Good or bad. Karma simply is the collection of unfulfilled experiences that stay in us and constantly pull us to fulfill them. The essence of the Karma theory is that: the totality of all your past is the present, and the totality of your present is your future. This I do agree with and think was worded rather great I also agree that by wishing karma will eventually catch up with him, that it's only hurting myself and probably just bringing myself bad karma in return. But I'm grieving right now and feel I'm allowed to feel this way. I'm not going to wake up everyday for the rest of my life and hope something bad happens to him though. This is the healing process and were all allowed to feel like this during this time. It's only natural. That's what I believe. Edited May 19, 2011 by stephmichelle
Flgirl44 Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 Yes I would. I would introduce him to the girl of his dreams the first year he goes to college. I would hope they date the entire time and she dumps him on his graduation right as he's about to propose. That would be eye for an eye i'd say.
WTRanger Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 Hm, thank you for assuming what I'm thinking and taking my words slightly out of context. Maybe I should've explained myself more. I never said karma was a tool of revenge - I do believe though that the way he's acted towards me, cruel and heartless, WILL eventually come back to him in some way or another someday in his life. Yes, he's also done some great things in our relationship and his life that I also think he'll be rewarded for with greatness. Both the good and bad will eventually catch up with him. I believe that what's happening to me right now might be karma from something bad I've done to someone in my past. I hurt a previous ex and left him when he wanted to work things out - a similar situation that happened to me just a few months ago with my current ex. I've since then apologized for the way I treated him and he's actually a very good friend of mine now. All of this could be happening because of how I acted years ago - who knows?! I've done a lot of awful things in the past that could be catching up with me now in my present day. I also believe that every good thing that happens to me is because of something good that I've done. So, I'm sorry but no "buffet style" karma here - I deserve the bad also. Everyone does, no one is perfect. We all deserve what we give out. Good or bad. This I do agree with and think was worded rather great I also agree that by wishing karma will eventually catch up with him, that it's only hurting myself and probably just bringing myself bad karma in return. But I'm grieving right now and feel I'm allowed to feel this way. I'm not going to wake up everyday for the rest of my life and hope something bad happens to him though. This is the healing process and were all allowed to feel like this during this time. It's only natural. That's what I believe. You can't think that way about an ex. That's what I'm trying to say. What if he wins the lotto and marries some bombshell lingerie model and the rest of this life is just is just the most amazing life anyone can live? What would you do, sit around in the dumps wondering where his karmic retribution is? The only Karma you need to even be concerned with is yours, and no one else. Even thinking, "Ohhhh that ex will get what's coming to them." is a step in the wrong direction. Focus inward on you, that's all you need to be thinking about and concerned with. I understand your breakup was tough and it's still fresh. I get how you feel, we've all been at that stage. But you need to switch your priorities in your thinking and how you are dealing with the anger. It's okay to be mad, upset but what you are doing is akin to you drinking a cup of poison and hoping that your ex dies.
I have no title Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 I wish I could take revenge on my ex....I was even planning to do it a few months ago, but now I guess I'm over it, but I am still angry....To be concise, what he did was: we were in a Long distance relationship, and instead of telling me that he didnt love me anymore and was fking another girls, and then even got a new gf, he just kept lying to me and saying he loved me..It lasted for 6 months..he never visited me once, he always found some excuse, but instead i visited him 4 times..with presents, kisses, emotions and all that....and while i was at his place waiting for him to come back from college, he was fking his another gf in her house how lovely is that? I was driving 13 hours one way, paying **** loads of money, to see him, and he was fking another chick while I was waiting for him he did much more....but it will take too long to write..do I want to revenge? oh yeah, I was planning so many times on driving there again and break into his house while they were there and smash his and her head against the wall...oh i was planning so many....even paying a hot guy and making him seduce her, so that she would cheat on him...and then ruin their relationship....But I beleive in God, and I beleive that one day that jerk will get his payback! For now, Im in a new relationship, and he is still with that girl - so happy, so in love! he even calls her his future wife (the same as he used to call me).. we didnt talk for 7 months already, and he made sure he deleted me from everywhere, so I didnt even have to make the effort of blocking him...I'm over it, but I am still thinking about how badly he treated me..I remember how miserable I felt..Gosh, it was the worst time in my life....I wish he would be treated like this once, so he could taste the pain too!!
marqueemoon4 Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 I used to want revenge, but really all it would do is perpetuate my pain. I will always care for my exW even though she has emotionally crippled me. Alot of it was my fault, but I hate how she handled it and my terrible response. I just need to get over the whole thing, its been a year and it still makes my stomach hurt.
stephmichelle Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 You can't think that way about an ex. That's what I'm trying to say. What if he wins the lotto and marries some bombshell lingerie model and the rest of this life is just is just the most amazing life anyone can live? What would you do, sit around in the dumps wondering where his karmic retribution is? The only Karma you need to even be concerned with is yours, and no one else. Even thinking, "Ohhhh that ex will get what's coming to them." is a step in the wrong direction. Focus inward on you, that's all you need to be thinking about and concerned with. I understand your breakup was tough and it's still fresh. I get how you feel, we've all been at that stage. But you need to switch your priorities in your thinking and how you are dealing with the anger. It's okay to be mad, upset but what you are doing is akin to you drinking a cup of poison and hoping that your ex dies. I understand what you're saying. It is hard though not to think that way right now - especially because of how terrible he was to me. He already has a new gf so that hurts me as well. I'm a lot prettier than her so maybe that's his bad karma lol j/k But yes, I know I need to move on and quit thinking about it like that. I shouldn't wish for something like that on someone else. I really am trying to focus on myself and make things better for ME. It's just taking time I look forward to the day when I can go all day without thinking of him...
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