guitarxkid Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 Read my last thread if you want to get a baseline of my situation but I realized I needed to start NC and so I just talk to her... I just talked to her on the phone and said everything I feel about how I'm still in love with her how I cant talk to her anymore and how it kills me when I see her with him. She barely opened up to me at all, talked about how she is in love with him and kept saying she couldn't say anything to me. There was no emotion in what she was saying and it made me feel awful that she couldn't even shed a tear for something that she supposedly cared about so much before. Im so ****ing sad right now I dont know what to do. I feel horrible and all I want is to be with her right now. I dont think I'm gonna get any sleep tonight. Summer break starts next week and I'm not even excited anymore, I spent last summer with her and I'm gonna be by myself this summer. Now we're not even gonna talk and I cant do this... I feel so ****ty right now does anyone have any uplifting words
Kari Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 Right now you made the best decision possible by choosing NC. You had your last talk with her, and now it's best to move on. I know your in a rough spot right now, but things will get better, you just need time. Focus on you right now you need it the most. Keep busy with friends and family, get a new hobby, things will be okay. LS has a coping thread and it would be a good idea to post in it too. Hope things will turn up for you soon.
Author guitarxkid Posted May 17, 2011 Author Posted May 17, 2011 And she just told her boyfriend everything that I said to her, resulting in him texting me asking where my understanding is and saying I shouldnt be putting all this on her. Yeah **** this why the **** would she do that Im so pissed off right now and so hurt
collegeguy_24 Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 If I read your original thread correctly, your ex cheated on you. Is that correct?
ilovedhim Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 NC is the best move you can make right now for yourself. Be totally selfish with it. NC her and her sidekick BF. You won't be alone this summer. Maybe for a couple of weeks you'll be hurting but trust me once classes are over she'll be behind you fast. Post here whenever you need moral support.
Author guitarxkid Posted May 17, 2011 Author Posted May 17, 2011 If I read your original thread correctly, your ex cheated on you. Is that correct? Ive posted on here several times throughout my coping of the breakup but the original is not most recent. To answer your question, she kissed another guy when we were together. Her excuse was, and my reason to pretty much let it slide with the other guy was that "she was making sure she wanted to be with me forever and that she was with the right guy and she was so sure of it now and that she was so sorry and she loves me" as she said. well guess what? that guy she kissed is her current ****ing boyfriend. bitches these days, right?
Author guitarxkid Posted May 17, 2011 Author Posted May 17, 2011 NC is the best move you can make right now for yourself. Be totally selfish with it. NC her and her sidekick BF. You won't be alone this summer. Maybe for a couple of weeks you'll be hurting but trust me once classes are over she'll be behind you fast. Post here whenever you need moral support. God I hope so. Posting here really does make me feel better. My problem is I cant find anyone Im more attracted to than her. I compare everything to her and nothing lives up. Im not physically attracted to so many girls just because they arent as pretty as she was. Well I could say I almost hate her now so I guess it doesnt matter. SHe did a good job ****ing up our friendship and giving me a reason to regret my past 3 years of being close to her
Kodo Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 well guess what? that guy she kissed is her current ****ing boyfriend. bitches these days, right? Didn't need to guess that one. Typical head****. That wasn't her reason for doing it. It was her reason to avoid feeling bad for hurting you.
Author guitarxkid Posted May 17, 2011 Author Posted May 17, 2011 Didn't need to guess that one. Typical head****. That wasn't her reason for doing it. It was her reason to avoid feeling bad for hurting you. Yep I should have seen it then. I find it really hard to keep my mind off of her not matter how busy I am. Everywhere I go something pops up. Not sure how Im gonna sleep tonight after talking to her I feel completely ****ed over
Author guitarxkid Posted May 17, 2011 Author Posted May 17, 2011 Does anyone have any advice on NC in my situation because I've failed before? And right now I could say I completely despise her but it's the memories of our relationship that really get to me and thinking that someone has that now. Also if you have been able to move on to another girl, how? I can't fin anyone I'm attracted to or there is always something wrong where she does not live up to my ex
Billie The Puppet Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 Does anyone have any advice on NC in my situation because I've failed before? And right now I could say I completely despise her but it's the memories of our relationship that really get to me and thinking that someone has that now. Also if you have been able to move on to another girl, how? I can't fin anyone I'm attracted to or there is always something wrong where she does not live up to my ex I responded to the same thread in the coping forum, My words are slightly harsh because I don't believe you fully understand the concept of NC. As for your ending question: It's not a game about moving onto the next girl that will come in time. If you truly are not ready to date don't put yourself out there you'll just end up with disappointment after dissapointment. Work on yourself, pick up hobby etc. Go out with family and friends etc. Not seeing someone new for who she is rather than seeing her as "she is not like my ex" is rather a sign you are not ready to date others. To be honest you wouldn't want to be in that persons shoes either. If you gain someones interest you want it to be for who you are not for who you remind them of.
Author guitarxkid Posted May 17, 2011 Author Posted May 17, 2011 I responded to the same thread in the coping forum, My words are slightly harsh because I don't believe you fully understand the concept of NC. As for your ending question: It's not a game about moving onto the next girl that will come in time. If you truly are not ready to date don't put yourself out there you'll just end up with disappointment after dissapointment. Work on yourself, pick up hobby etc. Go out with family and friends etc. Not seeing someone new for who she is rather than seeing her as "she is not like my ex" is rather a sign you are not ready to date others. To be honest you wouldn't want to be in that persons shoes either. If you gain someones interest you want it to be for who you are not for who you remind them of. Thanks for the responses. I don't so much want to be in a relationship with another girl as to just kinda talk to and have fun with, something to get my mind off of my ex. Sometime after our breakup, I was talking to a girl for about a month and I actually did get over my ex for about a week or two. In this time I did like the new girl and it made me realize there are better girls. Sadly my ex had to intervene and started "missing me again and wanting to only be with me" which put my right back at the spot where I started. What I'm saying is, I want to find someone like I did after me and my ex broke up. Someone who can speed up the healing process and help me get over my ex, kinda like what happened for that brief period of time, only this time hopefully it would stay that way
Chi townD Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 God I hope so. Posting here really does make me feel better. My problem is I cant find anyone Im more attracted to than her. I compare everything to her and nothing lives up. Im not physically attracted to so many girls just because they arent as pretty as she was. Well I could say I almost hate her now so I guess it doesnt matter. SHe did a good job ****ing up our friendship and giving me a reason to regret my past 3 years of being close to her Then don't worry about meeting or being attracted to someone else. That will come in time when you start healing from your last relationship. Therefore, don't date anyone right now. That wouldn't be fair to you and it DEFINATELY wouldn't be fair to the girl you date. Don't talk to her, delete her from your Facebook and don't text her. You started to heal at one point and started to move on, but she got word and screwed that up for you with promises that were only false hopes.
Stilicho Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 hey man, i went through the exact same thing with my ex, even down to her kissing a guy, claiming she wanted me, and how he was a loser, yet when she couldnt handle the fallout from i tll, she ran to the kid whom she said disgusted her, and she knew was wrong for her. than for 3 months this semester she played the hot and cold game to me as well, until i finally manned up and told her i wanted complete nc, in a conversation similar to the one you had, im sure. what i came here to say is, it DOES get easier, just do not break NC for anything. i know how feeling alone can be daunting, and how other girls still dont seem fully "right". since my break up(>5 months ago), ive dated 4 separate girls, for varied periods of time, and although they were each fun, and great distractors, i didnt continue wth them bc maybe im not ready for another relationship yet, but im glad i did date, bc it showed me there are many other girls out there, just how there were b4 i met my ex. keep ur head up man, hit the gym, and take it one day at a time. trust me, in a couple of months, youll laugh at why u let her affect you so much.
Author guitarxkid Posted May 17, 2011 Author Posted May 17, 2011 hey man, i went through the exact same thing with my ex, even down to her kissing a guy, claiming she wanted me, and how he was a loser, yet when she couldnt handle the fallout from i tll, she ran to the kid whom she said disgusted her, and she knew was wrong for her. than for 3 months this semester she played the hot and cold game to me as well, until i finally manned up and told her i wanted complete nc, in a conversation similar to the one you had, im sure. what i came here to say is, it DOES get easier, just do not break NC for anything. i know how feeling alone can be daunting, and how other girls still dont seem fully "right". since my break up(>5 months ago), ive dated 4 separate girls, for varied periods of time, and although they were each fun, and great distractors, i didnt continue wth them bc maybe im not ready for another relationship yet, but im glad i did date, bc it showed me there are many other girls out there, just how there were b4 i met my ex. keep ur head up man, hit the gym, and take it one day at a time. trust me, in a couple of months, youll laugh at why u let her affect you so much. Sounds pretty similar to me It's nice to hear that it does get better. Its so hard cause shes in my grade and goes to my school so its hard to avoid her sometimes. If I can stay with this for a couple months that would be awesome but as I said I can only avoid her to a certain extent. I'm gonna run into her at parties and school (well 2 more weeks of school) so I'm gonna keep strong
Author guitarxkid Posted May 17, 2011 Author Posted May 17, 2011 Well, I said earlier that she WASNT working on my school project with my group and I anymore but turns out she is. We just got together and I insisted that she not come until I leave and even my friend whos house it was at told her not to come over. She of course came anyway and made me feel pretty bad for 45 mins with her presence. It makes me so mad that she can't respect that I need to be away from her. Like I said, I told her on the phone that I cant be around her anymore but yet the next day she still comes and considers it extremely immature and childish that I can't work on a project with her. She doesn't understand and isn't putting herself in my position. She even told her mom about it (in her words, obviously, and most likely left out all parts of how much shes hurt me and how she told her BF all my feelings last night) and of course her mom agrees with her saying I'm being extremely childish. What do you guys think? Was insisting that she not come over to work on a project with me childish or was it right of me because I cannot stand being around her or seeing her because it makes me feel horrible after and even while??
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