AngelicDevl Posted April 12, 2004 Posted April 12, 2004 [font=arial][/font][color=blue][/color] Thismay be an issue others have had to deal with and I need some advice here. I have been with my bf 7 months and I know he loves me more than anything. He and his ex have been split for over a year now and she just wont go away. The girl is 20 years old and completely immature. She treated him like dirt when they were together so he dumped her. She wanted no part of him til she found out he was seeing me. I know it isnt against me personally because I never knew her before, but it's really starting to get on my nerves. She calls him constantly. He hastold her to stop and he no longer answers his phone when her number comes up but it rings at all hours of the day and night. He stopped answering or returning her calls months ago, but before then she would call and tell him how her new bf couldnt compare to him, blah blah blah. He hasnt spoken to her in months, yet she keeps calling and calling. He says it's because she knows he's a good man and she's mad because she screwed up, and I believe he's right. I know he doesnt love her and that he loves me. We are in the process of buying a house together and are making plans for our future. So why does this bug the hell out of me? Am I being ridiculous here? I'm 28 and I feel like she'strying to play stupid high school games with him, sopmething we are both too old for and have no patience for. Like I said, he doesnt speak to her or return her calls, and he's told her to stop calling him. So how do I cope with this? I could really use some outside, unbiased advice here.
sassygal Posted April 12, 2004 Posted April 12, 2004 Oh Man!!! I have dealt with a similar situation myself about 2 years ago so I can totally relate. Sounds like this girl is jealous because she is longer part of his life and he has someone new. Your not being riduculous at all, it has to be irritating to say the list to have her calling at all hours of the night. It sounds like your guy is dealing with the calls the right way by just ignoring her calls. She will get tired of the cold shoulder after a while and will give up all together. He might even consider changing his phone number to an unlisted number so she has no way to reach him. This is what I had to end up doing when an ex of mine kept calling me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hope this helps!!
Girlie Posted April 12, 2004 Posted April 12, 2004 There should be a way for him to have her number blocked from his phone so that she can't call from her home or business phone or whatever. I have an ex who had to do something like that. I would also consider what sassygal suggested about having the number changed and unlisted. This might be much easier than having her number blocked.
Fritz Posted April 12, 2004 Posted April 12, 2004 Well it sounds like the cold shoulder isn't have that much of an effect. Just have him document/record the times she calls/leaves messages etc. and look into a restraining order or harrassment charges. Thats kind of the final straw tactic since she's just bugging him and you via the phone. I'd change numbers first and hopefully she'll get the hint that way. If she doesn't then he knows he needs to look into what the law can do.
bluechocolate Posted April 12, 2004 Posted April 12, 2004 There is not much that you can do about this woman's behaviour and I suspect that that is where your frustration lies. Sorry for the psycho-babble, but you need to "let go" and stop letting her "bug the hell out of you". Your anger and frustration is allowing her to remain a part of this relationship. However, I am curious about these phone calls. Why hasn't her number been blocked long ago? I don't think changing numbers would necessarily work - if they had mutual friends it would be easy for her to get the new number. And why should your partner have to change his number and update all his friends and associates because of the actions of an immature ex? Of course, even if her number is blocked she could use a phone whose number you won't recognise. In which case I would suggest that your partner tell her that he will begin logging her calls with the intention of seeking legal advice if she persists. Was your partner friends with her family? Is there anyway he can "go around" her and speak to her friends and/or family about this behaviour? I'll betcha they don't what she's up to and if they're decent, mature folk they could talk some sense into her. In the meantime comfort yourself with the knowledge that you've got your man and that she is "completely immature" and try to feel pity for her rather than let her get you angry.
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