Jeebo Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 I'm 25 years old and I was in a 6 year relationship with a girl that I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with. We were best friends, great lovers, great everything. It was kind of ridiculous in terms of the chemistry that we had together over that time. We made plans for the future, she was planning on going into law school while I took care of the financial side of things and we were going to go from there. She decided to go into Americore before going into law school while I finished my own education. 3 months ago on valentines day she wrote me this amazing letter that talked of our future, the home she looked forward to sharing with me, etc. etc. A month later she sent me an email saying that she was ending our relationship, she wasn't going to be going to law school, and she didn't know what she wanted with her life anymore, but it wasn't me and it wasn't what we planned. I called her and asked, "is there someone else?" and she said, "no, i wouldn't do that to you." So she came here 2 weeks after that to get her things out of our apartment upon my request, because living in an apartment with our two cats and everything that her and I owned was driving me insane. We ended up having sex several times before she left, and it was amazing. A week later she had sex with someone else. That guy she had sex with messaged me over facebook about it. Taking some sort of dominant ownership role in his dialog with me. Telling me that he's the new sheriff in town type of thing. I talked to her about what this guy said to me and broke it down to, "Did you have sex with this guy, or is he a psychopath?" To which she replied saying that it wasn't any of my business and why is it so important that I know. I told her that it became my business when a random guy messages me and tells me that the two of you are in love emotionally and physically and that I'm old news in your life. That I didn't ask to be brought into whatever this nonsense is she got herself into. She then refused to tell me whether she had or hadn't slept with the guy. I told her that I was done with any form of maintaining communication with her since she was incapable of telling me the truth. The thing that is screwed up about it. Is her breakup with me was about her being horrified of serious commitment (the next step). She also told me she had absolutely no interest in moving on any time soon because she was still in love with me and it was going to take time to get over me. So essentially all of our conversations about the breakup where falsified by her sleeping with some guy that claims that they're in love already. I feel numb towards just about everything at this point in time and beyond frustrated at my inability to wrap my head around any of this.
VJohnson32 Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 That's just horrible. I'm sorry about what you're going through. We all have been there and its the worst feeling a human being can undergo. My ex said and did almost exactly the same thing to me. These are people with double personalities. They seem happy, act happy and tell you things you want to hear and make promises and plan their futures with you, however there's a another side of them which we don't see. They don't know what love stand for. They are in a relationship because its convenient for them but it isn't love. Trust me, if she can replace you that quick she must have not been in love with you in a first place. Time to close this chapter and move on. As hard as it seems right now, things will get better with time. Cut all contact with the psycho and hope there's karma. Good luck on your healing journey.
Chi townD Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 "no, I wouldn't do that to you." Calling BS on that one. Yeah, she broke up with you and days later she's in the sack with someone else tells me that she was having an emotional affair and it's finally gone physical. and the fact that she's telling you that it's none of your business when YOU are getting harassed. Go completely NC on her. I have a feeling that she gone start to feel guilty after a while and try to reach out to you. Don't buy into it no matter how curious you get.
Desensitized Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 Finding out that the girl you wanted to spend your life with had sex with someone else has got to hurt beyond anything imaginable. She does sound like she has something neurologically wrong with her, so cut all ties with her and move on. She will regret what she lost, and she will more than likely come crawling back to you. However, this is the moment where you have to be strong and not let her back into your life. Otherwise, you'll find the cycle repeating itself over and over again. If she does not come back to you, then it's probably better for you so you can have a quicker and uninterrupted recovery. Be strong, and don't give her anymore power over you. It's time for you to take charge. Feel free to cry, punch your pillow, whatever. The road to recovery is a long one, but we'll all get to the end of the road soon. Best of luck.
collegeguy_24 Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 The thing that is screwed up about it. Is her breakup with me was about her being horrified of serious commitment (the next step). She also told me she had absolutely no interest in moving on any time soon because she was still in love with me and it was going to take time to get over me. So essentially all of our conversations about the breakup where falsified by her sleeping with some guy that claims that they're in love already. I feel numb towards just about everything at this point in time and beyond frustrated at my inability to wrap my head around any of this. That is exactly what happened to me with my last ex man. I know your pain. All you can do now is go NC, if you have anything of hers left, minus the cats, throw them out. Or better yet, start a bon fire, record it, and send the video to her. If you have friends, spend time with them, trust me friends can really help in a situation like this. Focus on your studies and your job. Try to succeed. If you want to follow my example, do this. I still miss my ex, but I am determined to succeed so I can show her what she is missing. I am putting all my money into a brand new, expensive car. If you want to do that, it can help, as it not only shows her a lesson, but its an ego boost to you because you are showing yourself you can succeed without her.
poorguy Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 Agreed with everyone here 100r%....That is how girls typically end things....whether you dumped her or she dumped you...doesnt matter. There is always someone else!!! And I mean always!!! Go 100% stict Nc....I mean 100%!!! If you choose to do that you will get more benefits from it in the long run than she will get from her new relationship......trust me on that one..'go away
loverboy1984 Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 dude that is F*cked up! What a jack a$$ I came out of a 6yr relationship to. If a guy called me I would be pissed but wouldnt stoop down to his level to talk. Either way you look at it he is having your sloppy seconds. You have "hit that" so to speak for 6yrs so he can go have fun with it. he deserves a girl like that, not you. You deserve better. I would have no respect left for my girl if that happened I dont care how much I loved her. Its fine if she has sex while shes not with you. Its even fine that she doesnt tell you, but she needs to control the dog who is doing her so he doesnt come barking up you tree.
fetish Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 man ouch! I'm sorry jeebo. I can only imagine the pain you're going through. I'm going through some pain myself but i know it would be magnified X10 if i found out about another guy being involved. And for her to say, "None of your business?" That girl has some steel balls. Many men would go crazy and go upside her head a few times behind some stuff like that. So it must have been a couple of months passed since this all went down. What have you been doing to cope. When was the last time you've talked to her. My advice... NC. She did the unforgiveable. Me and my ex mutually ended things after 8 years as we had plans to marry. She ended up moving out after an intense argument we had about finances. I don't suspect there being another man as of yet, but if there was, I sure hope i'm well moved on before i find out.
Author Jeebo Posted May 17, 2011 Author Posted May 17, 2011 Me finding out about the other guy actually happened yesterday. Her breaking up with me happened about 6 weeks ago. Her coming here to move all of her **** out and having sex with me and us agreeing that we still love each other and we're both mutually capable of sitting aside the commitment was 3 weeks ago. I've been smoking a lot of cigarettes. Talking to friends, talking to family and playing the guitar quite a bit. Its silly because I'm playing guitar in my best friend's wedding this week and I'm currently learning the song "Marry Me" by Train. Which is just a completely ridiculous song to learn when you're dealing with stuff like this. I go on a lot of walks. Not a lot to do to cope outside of living it out. I have no idea what NC stands for if someone could explain that. And the quick replies on this made my night. I'm serious. Thank you.
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