Adi Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 Having a bad week, been broke up now 9 months and i aint really made any new friends apart from women i have dated, and in someways things are just getting worse, i looked in the mirror im 29 now 30 late this year and im looking old. I saw my ex on facebook she is 24 she looks reall well and happy with lots of friends im just stuck in the house most nights watching stuff on tv im just sad now its sinking in not only are we broke up forever but she is going too think soon if not now how happy she is without me. Than one day i will bump into her and her life would have changed so much and im just the same, i have got 3 girls interested in me but they make me feel worse i dont connect with them and i just think whats the point. Sorry for being so negitive but they say its better too have loved and lost i dont think so
PelicanPete Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 If you compare your life to other peoples at face value, its inevitable for you to feel like a loser. I compared my life to my ex's early in our break up, watching her life change dramatically through facebook while mine remained the same no matter how hard I tried. It only made me feel like a failure. I wasn't able to accomplish anything because I wanted to change for the wrong reasons. Through this I learned two major things: 1. A facebook portrayal of life is far different then the real thing 2. Trying to control things outside of yourself will only lead to suffering I wasn't able to change my surroundings like my ex did, so I chose to change my thinking and my outlook on life instead. Seclude yourself for awhile, spend some time on loveshack in between, and just analyze your life for a better understanding of yourself. You'll learn a lot if your ready to listen and accept. I've yet to change my surroundings and my situation in life, but now I realize I don't need to in order to be happy. Through constant denial and failure the first 3 months of the break up, I actually became more confident and happy with myself due to taking the time to understand. I appreciate what I do have, accepted what I don't, and rather then evade my suffering by trying to leave it behind, I embraced it and turned it into happiness. So start making changes about yourself if your surroundings refuse to. Its a hurdle you have to jump in order to move on with your life.
Author Adi Posted May 16, 2011 Author Posted May 16, 2011 Ya i understand what you are saying and at first i was really good but now she has got a brand new life and im jeliours the big problem i also have is this, i can make friends im good at chatting when i want, i get invited out quite a bit partys bbq pub weekends away but i just can not be asked. too tell you the truth a good night for me is staying in watching films i like it but i know im wasting my life, and the house is full of reminders has anyone here took anti depresants im thinking maybe the fact i can not be asked too get out of bed most days might be depression (i allways do go too work tho) and why is it a really sexy girl is really interested in me but i feel not anything.
brokendreamz Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 Hi. Sorry to hear your predicament. I am on anti depressants since our break up. However I realise now that the reason she left is because I was depressed. Had she not done so, I would never have realised so it's a tough lesson learnt. Go see your doctor and have a chat, the pills take a couple of months to kick in and you might want to consider therapy too. I know it's a big step but I'm a completely different person to who I was 4 months ago. You don't need to live your life like this. Get help, it could be the best thing you've ever done. Remember: This too shall pass.
PelicanPete Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 Ya i understand what you are saying and at first i was really good but now she has got a brand new life and im jeliours the big problem i also have is this, i can make friends im good at chatting when i want, i get invited out quite a bit partys bbq pub weekends away but i just can not be asked. too tell you the truth a good night for me is staying in watching films i like it but i know im wasting my life, and the house is full of reminders has anyone here took anti depresants im thinking maybe the fact i can not be asked too get out of bed most days might be depression (i allways do go too work tho) and why is it a really sexy girl is really interested in me but i feel not anything. Don't take anti depressants please. A physical cure can never fully satisfy an emotional problem. It's time for you to truly face and deal with your problems so that you can fully get over her. The best thing you can do is remove things that remind you of her and put them away for the time being. If YOU are happy staying at home at night by yourself that is what YOU should do. Don't feel pressured to take up offers that society enforces as the "right" thing to do. That only creates stress and also makes you miserable. Start focusing on what YOU want and crave and not what you THINK you should want and crave. Not being interested in other people just shows that you need to start paying attention to your self and why you are feeling this way.
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