Al Posted April 12, 2004 Share Posted April 12, 2004 Has anyone ever thought that their significant other was cheating and then come to find out that they weren't? Or is it always, if you think they are, they are? Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted April 12, 2004 Share Posted April 12, 2004 I once suspected it (90% sure), and later decided I was wrong (95% sure). Of course, this can happen. I recall reading somewhere that of women who hire private detectives to catch their husbands cheating, about 95% get the evidence they are looking for. The other 5% of husbands either dodge the bullet or actually aren't cheating at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Al Posted April 12, 2004 Author Share Posted April 12, 2004 So does that mean, if I think he's cheating, then he probably is? A lot of things with my boyfriend haven't been adding up lately including finding an ex-girlfriend's number in his cell phone under her last name after I flipped out finding her name in there before. Talking to an ex is one thing, but I've confronted him about the name in his phone before and he lied to me so finally yesterday I called the number and sure enough, it was the ex. Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted April 12, 2004 Share Posted April 12, 2004 I don't think there is always 'fire' where there is 'smoke'....but the possibility is higher than if there are no signs. Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted April 13, 2004 Share Posted April 13, 2004 If you are so convinced he is cheating and so eager for the evidence that you spend money on a private detective, he is probably cheating, based on that dimly remembered article. If he lies chronically, and you can't trust him, then I would say that things between you are as bad as cheating could make them, so you can go ahead and assume he is cheating if it makes your life easier. Link to post Share on other sites
faux Posted April 13, 2004 Share Posted April 13, 2004 There is one person I have in mind that I did not suspect of cheating at all. I placed total trust in her. It wasn't until after that I wondered about it, based on her behavior toward the end of the relationship. Then I came into contact with a few guys drunk at some party, and they all claimed to have "f**ked" her. Their stories didn't change the next week when they were sober, either. She for some reason got in contact with me again and swears up and down that she never did, and that I was the best guy she ever found, blah blah. Then I think that when I go to local places to hang out, I always bump into at least two guys who she's been with in the past. The record so far was 7 past flings, all in one place, all in one night. Now I really don't care anymore if this girl did cheat on me. I mostly find it funny that I admitted to being a wee bit dishonest and she wouldn't believe me! "You? You could never do that! Why are you even joking like that!" Sigh. I tried to be honest. ::shrug:: Link to post Share on other sites
GeorgiaSongbird Posted April 13, 2004 Share Posted April 13, 2004 If he lies chronically, and you can't trust him, then I would say that things between you are as bad as cheating could make them I'm with solemate on this one. I can understand why you suspect he is cheating. But even if he were not, there are still some major issues going on in your relationship. You say alot of things don't add up. When you found out he listed her number under a different name, did you confront him? How long have you guys been together? If you're not too vested in the relationship and at this stage he has shown he can lie to you about contact w/his ex, you might want to consider if staying is worth it. Link to post Share on other sites
saintfrancis Posted April 13, 2004 Share Posted April 13, 2004 Take it from someone who's been there: If he's lying about contact with his ex, just get the hell out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Al Posted April 19, 2004 Author Share Posted April 19, 2004 Okay, I was contacted this weekend by my boyfriend's ex. She heard that I had been asking around about the two of them and wanted to clear the air. Apparently she has a boyfriend of her own and nothing has ever happened between her and my boyfriend. She said that they just talk and are just friends. So I should feel better right? But I don't. I mean, I talk with my ex and I can't control who my boyfriend does and doesn't talk with. But what I don't get is the phone calls. I mean, if my ex and I run into each other, we might have a conversation, I don't go out of my way to ignore the guy or anything but we don't need to call each other to keep in touch. Why does my boyfriend feel these phone calls are necessary even if they don't talk very often, maybe 1-2 times a month. Can't he just talk to her if he runs into her? Link to post Share on other sites
Fedup&givingup Posted April 19, 2004 Share Posted April 19, 2004 Originally posted by Al Okay, I was contacted this weekend by my boyfriend's ex. She heard that I had been asking around about the two of them and wanted to clear the air. Apparently she has a boyfriend of her own and nothing has ever happened between her and my boyfriend. She said that they just talk and are just friends. So I should feel better right? But I don't. I mean, I talk with my ex and I can't control who my boyfriend does and doesn't talk with. But what I don't get is the phone calls. I mean, if my ex and I run into each other, we might have a conversation, I don't go out of my way to ignore the guy or anything but we don't need to call each other to keep in touch. Why does my boyfriend feel these phone calls are necessary even if they don't talk very often, maybe 1-2 times a month. Can't he just talk to her if he runs into her? I wouldn't like this too much myself. To me the fact that they are still this much in touch with each other indicates an attachment between the two of them. What you are suggesting, with them just talking to each other has to do with bumping into each other coincidentally vs. seeking the other person out....I totally agree with you. Link to post Share on other sites
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