justagirrl Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 I realized a relationship is not going to work between me and him right now as much as I want one. So I agreed to being friends with benefits for now. I think about him all the time, I just miss him whenever i'm not with him...but I don't want to be annoying. This is bad isn't it...
plasma Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 sounds like more to this story then what you say.. but anyways, if your both on same page doesnt sound too bad IMO, if he finds a greats girl and they click right away and never split how your gonna feel then ?
Author justagirrl Posted May 16, 2011 Author Posted May 16, 2011 sounds like more to this story then what you say.. but anyways, if your both on same page doesnt sound too bad IMO, if he finds a greats girl and they click right away and never split how your gonna feel then ? I've posted threads previously if you care to read them, it explains everything and this will make sense. He told me he's not going to date other people and I told him the same.
plasma Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 i did read some of your posts, you posted a few different ages for yourself... good luck
Author justagirrl Posted May 16, 2011 Author Posted May 16, 2011 If you have feelings for him it will not work. how should i go about talking to him about this? At the time, I didn't think it would bother me and thought I would gradually stop liking him but I didn't...I haven't seen him in 2 weeks since we established this "friends with benefits" because it was finals week and we were both very busy. I wanna talk about it in person but I don't know what to say without scaring him away I guess.... Seems like I just need to end it but I'm so attached
plasma Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 how should i go about talking to him about this? At the time, I didn't think it would bother me and thought I would gradually stop liking him but I didn't...I haven't seen him in 2 weeks since we established this "friends with benefits" because it was finals week and we were both very busy. I wanna talk about it in person but I don't know what to say without scaring him away I guess.... Seems like I just need to end it but I'm so attached your selfish, if your feelings get hurt then yourself is to blame
Author justagirrl Posted May 16, 2011 Author Posted May 16, 2011 your selfish, if your feelings get hurt then yourself is to blame I'm sorry, I don't understand where you're coming from...
Author justagirrl Posted May 16, 2011 Author Posted May 16, 2011 He's the one who told me he doesn't want a relationship right now....
plasma Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 I'm sorry, I don't understand where you're coming from... you know he's not for you, why still bother him ? let him live his life and stop stroking his emotions.
NSDNQ Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 DO NOT make the mistake of thinking that by giving him everything he wants without making him give you what you want will flatter him and make him love you. you want more, then get it. if hes unwilling to do what you need him to then that has to be the deal breaker. unless of course you will enjoy being strung along by your feelings until the day he falls in love with someone else. trust me. been there done that.
oldguy Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 If you have feelings for him it will not work. I agree and how do you imagine this turning out, he will eventually fall in love with you, or he will eventually find someone else? The first is unlikely. He may get comfortable with you, he might even think he loves you but chances are he will find someone else & even cheat on you. You deserve better, you deserve to fall in love with someone who loves you as much as you love them. Friends with benefits can be dicey even when both parties are not interested in a relationship. At least that what I've found.
Author justagirrl Posted May 16, 2011 Author Posted May 16, 2011 you know he's not for you, why still bother him ? let him live his life and stop stroking his emotions. it's a long story. but he's very immature. his roommate even told me he talks about me all the time....he just won't admit how much he really likes me because he's so convinced he doesn't want a relationship right now. we enjoy each other's company way too much to just let it go...
oldguy Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 in addition; JUSTAGIRL is cute but it sounds like a self esteem issue :-)
oldguy Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 it's a long story. but he's very immature. his roommate even told me he talks about me all the time....he just won't admit how much he really likes me because he's so convinced he doesn't want a relationship right now. we enjoy each other's company way too much to just let it go... So is that your plan, to hang around until he matures and realizes he loves you? Cmon.
plasma Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 it's a long story. but he's very immature. his roommate even told me he talks about me all the time....he just won't admit how much he really likes me because he's so convinced he doesn't want a relationship right now. we enjoy each other's company way too much to just let it go... ok better he doesnt know what he truly needs out of a woman, most of us guys dont until upper 20's have fun, dont get head deep in emotions for now, keep him at an arms length, if hes the one for you then it will be, if not then by the times come you wont be heavily invested and broken of things go south ! have fun, dont sweat the relationship stuff for now
geegirl Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 Everytime you have sex with him, you will fuel your emotions for him and grow more attached than you are now. Imagine at this point getting wind of him having sex with other girls or even flirting with others. Everytime he has sex with you, he is just having sex with you. Simple. Where is your self-respect and pride?
flitzanu Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 sweet. so he convinced you he can't date you, but convinced you to sleep with him, and now he can do whatever he wants and you'll just wait for him to come over at 2am.
geegirl Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 it's a long story. but he's very immature. his roommate even told me he talks about me all the time....he just won't admit how much he really likes me because he's so convinced he doesn't want a relationship right now. we enjoy each other's company way too much to just let it go... You are in lala land. So, your plan is to give him sex, he'll grow fond of you, realize you are what he wants and all will be happy. Your plan should be to step away, let him grow up, realize his feelings for you and come for you. It's one thing to enjoy each other's company, but not at the cost of getting yourself emotionally beaten up.
Author justagirrl Posted May 16, 2011 Author Posted May 16, 2011 in addition; JUSTAGIRL is cute but it sounds like a self esteem issue :-) lol the name comes from the No Doubt song "Just a Girl"
Author justagirrl Posted May 16, 2011 Author Posted May 16, 2011 You are in lala land. So, your plan is to give him sex, he'll grow fond of you, realize you are what he wants and all will be happy. Your plan should be to step away, let him grow up, realize his feelings for you and come for you. It's one thing to enjoy each other's company, but not at the cost of getting yourself emotionally beaten up. I swear you say the most helpful things, I really need to start listening
Author justagirrl Posted May 16, 2011 Author Posted May 16, 2011 sweet. so he convinced you he can't date you, but convinced you to sleep with him, and now he can do whatever he wants and you'll just wait for him to come over at 2am. =/ this is why i need help.
sun_moon Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 yeah...I think its in your best interest to listen to the unanimous advice given here. Leave him alone and walk away with your self respect before its too late. Walk way with your head up high and find someone else to hang out with. I promise you immaturity will hurt you in the end. Your gut already told you in your first post...this is bad isnt it? Dont EVER ignore you instincts, he might like you to "benefit" from you, but he wont love you or want to be committed to a girl that doesn't respect herself. I'm sorry If I sound harsh, but it is for you own good, please walk away. I've heard it out of a guys mouth many times before, I don't respect a woman or want to be with her seriously if she doesn't respect herself enough to lay the law down and say NO.
Dims85 Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 most men would agree with me that you are providing him exactly what most of us would love to have in some senses... Having a girl at your beckon call whenever you have sexual urges with absolutely no commitment, a dream of most men. He will not change his mind and grow to love you, you are a toy and only a toy. He might miss playing with you but thats about it. No guy wants to have a relationship with someone who doesn't respect themselves, Show yourself some respect, walk away and find someone who wants you for who you are not whats between your legs.
Author justagirrl Posted May 17, 2011 Author Posted May 17, 2011 most men would agree with me that you are providing him exactly what most of us would love to have in some senses... Having a girl at your beckon call whenever you have sexual urges with absolutely no commitment, a dream of most men. He will not change his mind and grow to love you, you are a toy and only a toy. He might miss playing with you but thats about it. No guy wants to have a relationship with someone who doesn't respect themselves, Show yourself some respect, walk away and find someone who wants you for who you are not whats between your legs. I really think I'm just gonna stop now. It's not right. I need to respect myself, and he doesn't deserve me in any aspect. Going NC for a while again....guess we'll see what happens.
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