Chew1985 Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 My wife and I are 25 now this happened two years ago. We were having problems I know I wasn't the best husband. I went out with my friends a lot. But still tried to make time for her. A couple days after our wedding Ann. she wanted to stay at a friends house. I didn't think nothing of it for I had known this friend for a long while I also knew that a mutual guy friend lived down the street still not thinking she was that type of person I didn't think much of it. She got drunk and cheated on me that night I didn't know anything about it well the next weekend came and she wanted to stay again. So I was kind of getting suspicious. I called the mutual friend and asked him if she tried anything with him or if anything had already happened he did admit to them having sex. When I confronted her she lied about everything I later found out ( even though I never wanted to) every little detail like they did it outside they didn't use a condom ect. Well she lied about every detail even the condom part. She finally confessed and told me the only reason she went back the next weekend was to see if she had feelings for him. She said it only happened once. Now do I believe her she seemed to be sincere and sorry for what happened but how do I know if it's the first and only time and it wont happen again.
oldguy Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 If she went back the next weekend it sure wasn't because she regretted cheating on you. The ol', "I was drunk" excuse is lame". Try telling that to a cop when you get pulled over for speeding. Thats one of the dumbest excuses anyone can come up with. And if she didn't feel guilt or remorse I would bet it hasn't been the only time. As for how do you know or trust her, that is something that she should have to prove until you do trust her again, for as long as it takes. that is the price to be paid. I wouldn't be planning a family until you do trust her either, hell if I was into a marriage for only a couple of years and my wife had unprotected sex with a friend I'd be kicking both of them to the curb. And are you actually making excuses for her infidelity by saying you could have been a better husband? Would her infidelity be a good enough excuse for you to cheat on her? The answer to that by the way is; "no", there is no excuse.
alexlakeman Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 She's a ho... Did you think about what she did the next time you went down on her? I would've anulled the wedding...
Kari Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 It wasn't a one time slip up, she went back again. Right now you need to ask yourself, do you see this marriage working? Can you trust her not to cheat again? Are you positive she will not try and gain contact back with the other guy? Is she willing to go to counselling or be completely honest opposed to lying? If the answer is no to any of these, you need to reconsider your marriage. When someone cheats, it's about them, not you. You cannot blame yourself. Be strong!
VicJay79 Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 Chew, I am really sorry. I can't even imagine what your going through now. I am sure you had plenty of times to cheat, but you have turned them down. Its hurtful to see the significant other didn't do that for you. In either case, I would strongly consider going to a marriage counslor to see if this is a relationshp WORTH saving. Unlike men, who cheat out of oppertunity. Women cheat because they are not being given the emotional. Get to the bottom fo this with a trained professional, it will be a lot cheaper then going through an EXPENSIVE divorce! My wife and I are 25 now this happened two years ago. We were having problems I know I wasn't the best husband. I went out with my friends a lot. But still tried to make time for her. A couple days after our wedding Ann. she wanted to stay at a friends house. I didn't think nothing of it for I had known this friend for a long while I also knew that a mutual guy friend lived down the street still not thinking she was that type of person I didn't think much of it. She got drunk and cheated on me that night I didn't know anything about it well the next weekend came and she wanted to stay again. So I was kind of getting suspicious. I called the mutual friend and asked him if she tried anything with him or if anything had already happened he did admit to them having sex. When I confronted her she lied about everything I later found out ( even though I never wanted to) every little detail like they did it outside they didn't use a condom ect. Well she lied about every detail even the condom part. She finally confessed and told me the only reason she went back the next weekend was to see if she had feelings for him. She said it only happened once. Now do I believe her she seemed to be sincere and sorry for what happened but how do I know if it's the first and only time and it wont happen again.
reservoirdog1 Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 Chew -- whatever course of action you decide upon, you should probably accept the likelihood that more went on than you're aware of. Cheaters basically NEVER give you the full story -- they give you as much information as they figure you could find out on your own, from others. It's called damage control.
riff1978 Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 Ok where do i start , i was with my ex for 16 years never married found out 2 months ago , that she has been cheating on me for over a year , we have 2 wonderful kids a 14 year old and a 7 year old ...i was never down living at the house we was in so i had no choice but to leave i am now back at my parents with my 14 year old girl , i just cannot accept how can someone do this to there own family , and was wondering does she regret it ?...i still love her in a way ..but would never go back ..she says this is what she wanted ?.she has never said sorry to me ..i don't believe this is what she wanted she just won't admit that ..i was even taking her to her friends house going back home with the kids ..then she would leave her friends house and go to him , all the time she was telling me she loves me and we have the rest of our lives together which still hurts to this day ..she says she has cut off this other man ( he's married btw)..as she would rather meet someone single ...i just want her to regret what she has done ..will she ever ?..our daughter won't speak to her again as she was always telling her family is the most important thing to her.and she split not just our family but in laws to ..she lied so much to us , am findin it hard to think of a future as i never saw this coming ..
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