collegeguy_24 Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 Well, today was a hard day for me. Our town is currently having some bad wind storms, so at work I spent the past two days getting hit in the face and any exposed areas with sand, dirt, rock, and of course, car doors. And after work today, I went to the Jeff Dunham concert, and I had a lot of fun, and that was where I ran into the ex. We were literally 5 feet from each other, and I noticed she cut her hair. It looks good on her. But whats most importent, is how I felt. I felt NO anger, jealousy, sadness. I felt no negative emotions, all I did was smile and continue my conversations with my family. I have reached a new peak today. I have finally forgiven her for all the wrong she has done to me. It feels good, to be forgiving. SHe is a good person at heart, I know that. SHe doesn't deserve my anger any longer. I am ready to try and open communication with her again, I am willing to try and be friends with her. It is my decision, my choice. I am not being put on the back burner, I have a GF. I am interested in genuine communication, as I miss talking with her. I am hoping it works, as I have no intention of pursuing her romantically, but instead go for being friends. I am at a state now where I can handle, and even enjoy it. I feel proud for myself. I even know there is a chance she is reading this. She knows I am on here, and has probably kept some tabs on me to see what I say. I want to apologize to her. I posted her name on this site when I was at my weakest, and its to late to change it. So if she is reading this, I am sorry for my mistake. Thats it for today, I'll keep everyone updated as to what happens.
Kari Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 It's great to hear that you finally have gotten over the negative feelings of your ex girlfriend! Are you sure you wish to pursue a friendship? Are you positive that old feelings won't come up to the surface? What about your new girlfriend, does she approve of this step? It would be a shame to have come so far only to be pushed back to square one. These are questions you need to consider before deciding to get into contact with your ex again.
Author collegeguy_24 Posted May 16, 2011 Author Posted May 16, 2011 (edited) It's great to hear that you finally have gotten over the negative feelings of your ex girlfriend! Are you sure you wish to pursue a friendship? Are you positive that old feelings won't come up to the surface? What about your new girlfriend, does she approve of this step? It would be a shame to have come so far only to be pushed back to square one. These are questions you need to consider before deciding to get into contact with your ex again. I do want to pursue a friendship and that old feelings won't come to the surface. My new GF does approve, it was her idea. Anyways, I just got a response from the ex. She once again changed things around, saying she needs a friend who does what they say and accuses me of saying that I told her I would wait till she contacts me and then I don't wait, I contact her, and to please don't contact her again. I remember it clearly, I told her to never contact me unless I contact her because I needed to heal from the all the lies and pain she caused me. I find it quite funny actually, and a bit hypocritical of her. She stays friends with exes all the time, and she has a rather long list of ex BFs and FWBs, but she won't be friends with me. It hurts a bit, but you know what, I can move on. I wish things were different, but oh well, you take what life give you. Edit: She just untagged herself from our one picture together, and she blocked me on Facebook. How mature. She blocks me, yet she keeps herself tagged in photos where the guy who didn't treat her well at all, at least from what she told me. Again, this hurts, a lot. That photo was all I had left of her. But you know what, fine. I'll move on, eventually karma is going to come back and bite her in the butt. She has to grow up eventually, otherwise the consequences she faces will be something she will regret. (This is not a threat to her from me, just a fact of life.) By the way, I know she is reading this. Your not going to ruin me, your going to only ruin yourself. How many men actually care for you the way I did? Bet you can't answer that, considering your relationship history. But know this, I will always be here for you. In what capacity, thats unknown, but most likely friends. Edited May 16, 2011 by collegeguy_24
Author collegeguy_24 Posted May 16, 2011 Author Posted May 16, 2011 a 110 views of this thread and I get one reply? Come on people tell me what you think! Thats why I posted.
plasma Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 Well, today was a hard day for me. Our town is currently having some bad wind storms, so at work I spent the past two days getting hit in the face and any exposed areas with sand, dirt, rock, and of course, car doors. And after work today, I went to the Jeff Dunham concert, and I had a lot of fun, and that was where I ran into the ex. We were literally 5 feet from each other, and I noticed she cut her hair. It looks good on her. But whats most importent, is how I felt. I felt NO anger, jealousy, sadness. I felt no negative emotions, all I did was smile and continue my conversations with my family. I have reached a new peak today. I have finally forgiven her for all the wrong she has done to me. It feels good, to be forgiving. SHe is a good person at heart, I know that. SHe doesn't deserve my anger any longer. I am ready to try and open communication with her again, I am willing to try and be friends with her. It is my decision, my choice. I am not being put on the back burner, I have a GF. I am interested in genuine communication, as I miss talking with her. I am hoping it works, as I have no intention of pursuing her romantically, but instead go for being friends. I am at a state now where I can handle, and even enjoy it. I feel proud for myself. I even know there is a chance she is reading this. She knows I am on here, and has probably kept some tabs on me to see what I say. I want to apologize to her. I posted her name on this site when I was at my weakest, and its to late to change it. So if she is reading this, I am sorry for my mistake. Thats it for today, I'll keep everyone updated as to what happens. dont be a fool man !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! dont try anything with her, be INDIFFERENT your own thoughts are self sabotaging, you want to continue feeling good right?
Author collegeguy_24 Posted May 17, 2011 Author Posted May 17, 2011 Well she did respond, and her response is the third post of this thread.
Kari Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 It's best just to leave her out of your life completely. People don't keep exes as friends for a reason. Her reply just proves that more. I'm glad that you have finally moved on, but it's time to keep her in the past now, not present. Back to Nc.
Author collegeguy_24 Posted May 17, 2011 Author Posted May 17, 2011 It's best just to leave her out of your life completely. People don't keep exes as friends for a reason. Her reply just proves that more. I'm glad that you have finally moved on, but it's time to keep her in the past now, not present. Back to Nc. Yup, I plan to. Though she does keep most of her exes as friends, with the exception of me, and one certain individual who, if revealed, would ruin both their lives To help keep her in my past, I took the time to write down a list of her faults and all the things she's done to me, to remind myself to not contact her again. I am, however, all welcoming of her contacting me. But I know she won't, its who she is. To prideful. Yet in a sense of irony, she has no dignity or self respect. I do miss her, and part of me still loves her. But its in the past, she wasted no time in moving on from me, already having a guy lined up and all. I shouldn't waste my time with someone who only cares about how many notches she put into her bed post before contracting an STD. Its sad, and my heart aches, but what must be done, must be done. By the way Kari, I like your avatar picture, very cute
plasma Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 you " plan " too but i can bet 100k you will not follow through, your weak...just like the rest of us !
Author collegeguy_24 Posted May 17, 2011 Author Posted May 17, 2011 you " plan " too but i can bet 100k you will not follow through, your weak...just like the rest of us ! I do not appreciate the insult.
0hpenelope Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 It's a loss on her part, cg24, for not accepting your friendship. And don't compare yourself to her exes and FWB's. Her treatment of them has got nothing to do with you and why she's treating you differently. Only she knows the honest answer to that in spite of what she tells close friends or other friends familiar with your story. You've said your part, you want to be friends, she said she's not interested, and you stand ready to walk away with no bitter and resentful feelings. I honestly can't imagine any other excellent positions to be in. For myself, exploring the option of friendship is more of an effect of an even more important phase: that you've let go of those negative feelings towards her, not because it's the right thing to do for her and others' opinion, but it's the right thing to do for yourself. Let sleeping dogs lie - until they rouse themselves awake again. She knows where to find you. If she doesn't want you as a friend, well... life goes on for you. And that's the most important thing.
Kari Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 Soon enough you will get over her completely 100% and wonder why you spent so much time thinking about her. Just keep continuing as you are. Best of luck And thanks, I love bambi
plasma Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 im trying to tuff you up so you can get her off your mind ! go to gym and kick ass bro!
Author collegeguy_24 Posted May 17, 2011 Author Posted May 17, 2011 It is her loss. I have come to realize that I am quite the catch. I mean I am a gentleman, I treat women right, I spoil them. It make me happy just to see a smile on a womans face. I don't do this stuff for sex, making someone else happy is what makes me happy. I like the work I put into it, I like the energy. If she would rather sleep around and be a toy to men, go ahead. She left me and everything I had to offer, its her loss. As I told her mother, Jen seems more concerned with how many nothces she can rack up in her bed post then finding an actual, meaningful relationship. But there is one thing I love, above all else. The guy she left me for, they are no longer together and all indications point to him leaving her, though she also possibly left him as well. She has a new man now, probably another FWB, but does it affect me, hell no! If Jen ever wants to open contact again, I will be happy to talk with her again in either email or something else. But in no way, will I ever contact her again unless she does it first, or I am on my death bed. I have my pride, dignity, and self respect and I refuse to be a lap dog.
Jono85 Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 It is her loss. I have come to realize that I am quite the catch. I mean I am a gentleman, I treat women right, I spoil them. It make me happy just to see a smile on a womans face. I don't do this stuff for sex, making someone else happy is what makes me happy. I like the work I put into it, I like the energy. If she would rather sleep around and be a toy to men, go ahead. She left me and everything I had to offer, its her loss. As I told her mother, Jen seems more concerned with how many nothces she can rack up in her bed post then finding an actual, meaningful relationship. But there is one thing I love, above all else. The guy she left me for, they are no longer together and all indications point to him leaving her, though she also possibly left him as well. She has a new man now, probably another FWB, but does it affect me, hell no! If Jen ever wants to open contact again, I will be happy to talk with her again in either email or something else. But in no way, will I ever contact her again unless she does it first, or I am on my death bed. I have my pride, dignity, and self respect and I refuse to be a lap dog. dude i'm going to be honest with you. maybe it's unfair b/c i only know what i've read. but i think you need to respect yourself even more than you are showing in some of your posts. you say all these bad things about her on one hand (btw that's pretty weak if you know/think she might be reading these threads, seems pretty classless to me regardless of what you think of her or how terrible she is...be bigger than that) and then you go on to say that you'd be happy to talk to her if she initiates email or opens contact or whatever. that's kind of sad bordering on slightly pathetic. i'm writing you this b/c i think you need to hear it. but you're still hung up on this chick. just be done with her; she treated you like crap (i don't know the whole story, assuming) so just move on to OTHER BETTER girls period. if she reinitiates contact just be polite, short and tell her you've moved on with your life. but right now, by the sounds of your post, it seems you're readily available to her whenever she comes ringing. again, move on, and don't look back. there's tons of beautiful good hearted girls out there, go find one.
Author collegeguy_24 Posted May 17, 2011 Author Posted May 17, 2011 dude i'm going to be honest with you. maybe it's unfair b/c i only know what i've read. but i think you need to respect yourself even more than you are showing in some of your posts. you say all these bad things about her on one hand (btw that's pretty weak if you know/think she might be reading these threads, seems pretty classless to me regardless of what you think of her or how terrible she is...be bigger than that) and then you go on to say that you'd be happy to talk to her if she initiates email or opens contact or whatever. that's kind of sad bordering on slightly pathetic. i'm writing you this b/c i think you need to hear it. but you're still hung up on this chick. just be done with her; she treated you like crap (i don't know the whole story, assuming) so just move on to OTHER BETTER girls period. if she reinitiates contact just be polite, short and tell her you've moved on with your life. but right now, by the sounds of your post, it seems you're readily available to her whenever she comes ringing. again, move on, and don't look back. there's tons of beautiful good hearted girls out there, go find one. The parts on bold are what caught my main attention so i will address those. The first part, Yes I am under the impression she may read some of this stuff. But heres the thing, the vast majority of the stuff I wrote about her, is actually true. She confessed to almost all of it during the course of our relationship, and even during the breakup. She knows all this cause she was the one who confessed about it. I'm not making this stuff up I am simply stating what she told me, and what I found out on my own. THis has nothing to do with me getting back at her and being weak. What all this has to do is me telling what is true, and as a reminder for why I should not miss her, or contact her, period. This is to help serve me by not going weak and asking for her back. This is to remind myself why I need to say strong and NC. The second bolded part: Let me explain this in more detail. If she contacts me, which is doubtful but lets assume she does for this scenario. I would read or listen to what she has to say, but it doesn't mean I will take her back. She lost my trust and respect. That not easy to get back, she would have to earn it back first. I wouldn't go out with on dates or anything. She has to earn my trust and respect first, and that is best accomplished by being friends. I would most likely put her into the friend zone. Trust and respect is not easy to earn back, nor should it be easy. Not to mention its also Dependant on what is going on in my life at that. I have a GF, and am going to grad school soon, plus working a full time job. 'm a very busy man. Now if me and my GF break up, I am taking a nice, long break from dating. I need the time to heal, and to have time for myself for a change, to focus on myself. If the ex came back at that point, then I still wouldn't take her back, she has to earn it. This is the game, she is the contestant, I am the prize. It has to be earned, not given. I hope that clarifies things. If you have any more questions or concerns I am open to hearing them.
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