1437 Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 does no contact affter a breakup for about 5 months except of awkward stares in the hallway and constant checking of my profile mean that its over and they've moved on?
CrestfallenNoMore Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 No one can intelligently discern anything from that. In your other post you say you don't want him back. Why do you care?
Author 1437 Posted May 16, 2011 Author Posted May 16, 2011 well, i dont want him back as a boyfriend, but i still want to be friends? i think i still like him...which realy sucks BIG TIME! what should i do?
CrestfallenNoMore Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 I would make sure you have a better sense of your feelings, or you could wind up hurting him all over again. If you reach out to him and encourage him by telling him you think you still like him and then decide you really don't, then that would be extremely cruel to dump him all over again. So, decide if you really DO like him and why. Is it because he doesn't appear interested and once you have him back you'll lose interest? Or do you think you've made a mistake, and you want another chance? You dumped him, so your first act should be to get right with your feelings before ever involving him, even if that's just to try to re-establish a friendship.
Author 1437 Posted May 16, 2011 Author Posted May 16, 2011 i started the no contact period cause he kept asking me for a second chance and i didnt want to. deep down i still like him and the reason i broke up with him was cause he was fliriting with this other girl. i ended the relationship so that he could go after this girl if he wanted to but its been 10 months since its over and he's not talking to her anymore. i know i cant handle another breakup with him but i miss the friendship. he keeps thinking that i hate him when i dont and he just keeps staring at me in the hallway. what should i do? im so lost =(
CrestfallenNoMore Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 Beyond restating "Get right with your feelings before you even consider contacting him," I don't have any additional advice. Hopefully someone else can chime in.
Kodo Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 It sounds like you didn't want hte break up but did it as a logical decision to help solve the problem (of him flirting with someone else)?
Kari Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 If you still have feelings for him then it cannot just be a "friendship". You can only be friends again once feelings on both sides have faded. Otherwise you will just be going back to square one.
Fufu Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 Doesn't seem you are ready for a friendship with him. Anyway, since you said you don't want him back, follow your feeling and just move on for yourself. Friends or not, you don't have to think about this at the moment.
Author 1437 Posted May 17, 2011 Author Posted May 17, 2011 yeah, the break up was a logical decision cause i didnt want to deal with any of that anymore, like all the flirty texts to other girls (it was more than one). he said they meant nothing to him and he just finds dirty talk funny, is it even funny? but yeah, ive been trying to get over him completely, but it hasn't been working =( i miss his friendship when he was always there for me =(
Kodo Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 he just finds dirty talk funny, is it even funny? That's not the point. He might very well find it amusing, but he HAS to respect others. I love a flirt. Absolutely love it. When in a relationship I miss it. But that's no excuse to do it... unless of course you speak to your partner and she says it's fine. Chances are she won't.
Author 1437 Posted May 17, 2011 Author Posted May 17, 2011 @ kodo, what do you honestly think of flirts who talk dirty? he says that he has no respect for them and they're just for spare time...does that even make sense?
Kodo Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 @ kodo, what do you honestly think of flirts who talk dirty? he says that he has no respect for them and they're just for spare time...does that even make sense? It does make sense. I honestly love flirting. It just makes me feel a sense of empowerment and it's a compliment to my charisma to be able to enjoy a flirt. The people I do it with only "matter" to me for the flirt itself (unless they are a close friend of course). There is no sinister motive behind it. However, it IS inappropriate in a relationship. It will make your exclusive girl uncomfortable. So you shouldn't be out there seeking it. If it comes upon you, politely reciprocate and move on. A quick unforseen flirt is a compliment to your girl, really. Her partner is still drawing attention and that reasserts her position. But you keep it up and you push her away.
Author 1437 Posted May 17, 2011 Author Posted May 17, 2011 so you think that breaking up for him because of the flirt is right? and do you guys think that i should give him a second chance, cause he kept asking me that but i gave him the cold shoulder every time and completely ignores him now. do you think that's right of me? that if i still do care for him that i should have given him a second chance?
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