Thesame Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 Well it has been a few months since I posted my story. To give you guys a quick summary I cheated with my husband's cousin last year, who he was very close to. There was a lot of flirting and we kissed once (it was at husband's family reunion), but no sex. Husband caught us kissing and he assaulted his cousin. We did not stay at the reunion so he took us home. There was a lot of anger and I was relentlessly accused of having sex with his cousin. This caused a lot of tension between me and husband and he chose to be neutral to me for over a year. No sex, no emotion. Just completely cold. In February he moved out and got himself a condo. He needed space and so I understood. I was served with the papers shortly after. We are due in court next week. I'm hurt that this is going on. I wake up sometimes thinking he's there beside me then reality comes back. Well at least he'll be able to be happy. That's all I can say.
Bryanp Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 Have you thought about offering to take a polygraph for your husband to prove that you did not have sex with the cousin? I do not remember your post but why would you kiss your cousin at a family reunion where you could easily be seen by others? Was your marriage bad prior to this?
John Michael Kane Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 Well it has been a few months since I posted my story. To give you guys a quick summary I cheated with my husband's cousin last year, who he was very close to. There was a lot of flirting and we kissed once (it was at husband's family reunion), but no sex. Husband caught us kissing and he assaulted his cousin. We did not stay at the reunion so he took us home. There was a lot of anger and I was relentlessly accused of having sex with his cousin. This caused a lot of tension between me and husband and he chose to be neutral to me for over a year. No sex, no emotion. Just completely cold. In February he moved out and got himself a condo. He needed space and so I understood. I was served with the papers shortly after. We are due in court next week. I'm hurt that this is going on. I wake up sometimes thinking he's there beside me then reality comes back. Well at least he'll be able to be happy. That's all I can say. At least the man is finally moving on.
jnj express Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 Couldn't you at least get him to listen to WHY you felt you needed, to fool around----unfortunately, you picked a family member---so it becomes a double betrayel---- Hopefully, you will also move on, and having learned a lesson, you won't take your mge., so lightly with your next partner
nyrias Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 Well it has been a few months since I posted my story. To give you guys a quick summary I cheated with my husband's cousin last year, who he was very close to. There was a lot of flirting and we kissed once (it was at husband's family reunion), but no sex. Husband caught us kissing and he assaulted his cousin. We did not stay at the reunion so he took us home. There was a lot of anger and I was relentlessly accused of having sex with his cousin. This caused a lot of tension between me and husband and he chose to be neutral to me for over a year. No sex, no emotion. Just completely cold. In February he moved out and got himself a condo. He needed space and so I understood. I was served with the papers shortly after. We are due in court next week. I'm hurt that this is going on. I wake up sometimes thinking he's there beside me then reality comes back. Well at least he'll be able to be happy. That's all I can say. Sometimes people cannot get pass certain events. There is really nothing you can do. If he wants to be out of the relationship, it is his call. May be you should move on yourself. Next time, be very careful about your actions. We all face consequences of our own action.
Author Thesame Posted May 16, 2011 Author Posted May 16, 2011 Thanks guys. I know I must move on. It's a hard reality, though.
nyrias Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 Thanks guys. I know I must move on. It's a hard reality, though. Life can sometimes be hard. But as the cliche says "time heals everything". I am sure you can move on and find a better life in front of this. Just remember the lesson.
What_Next Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 I remember you thesame. From what I remember you tried your best to reconcile and be honest about what went on. If your STBX has decided to divorce then give it to him and don't drag it our nor make it difficult; it's the least you can do. Good luck and hopefully this will be a life lesson that you keep with you.
ver13 Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 I can understand where your H is at right now in all of this, betrayel is one thing but when family is involved there is no going back for anyone. IMO you need to move on too...When you get to where your going look back and see how you got there and remember somethings just can't be undone and I'm sorry really doesn't go to far. You both have now got a chance to find someone that hopefully will respect your R enough not to cross certain boundaries which no other adult should have to tell them are off limits.
Author Thesame Posted May 18, 2011 Author Posted May 18, 2011 I remember you thesame. From what I remember you tried your best to reconcile and be honest about what went on. If your STBX has decided to divorce then give it to him and don't drag it our nor make it difficult; it's the least you can do. Good luck and hopefully this will be a life lesson that you keep with you. I actually did feel like trying to drag it out a few times, mainly because I didn't want to lose him but I knew that would only make him mad. I have lost all hope in myself. I'm even scared to see him in court.
John Michael Kane Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 I actually did feel like trying to drag it out a few times, mainly because I didn't want to lose him but I knew that would only make him mad. I have lost all hope in myself. I'm even scared to see him in court. Lady you're just going to have to accept that your husband is moving on. You not only hurt the man, but you set your sights on his family, and his cousin to you. That's really low. Next time like everyone else has repeatedly said, be faithful.
TMCM Posted May 19, 2011 Posted May 19, 2011 There will always be someone more attractive, emotionally and sexually, than us and our partners, that is a fact of life. But when you get married you make a commitment to you and your spouse not to act out upon those attractions even when your marriage is going through a rough period. You need to do some serious soul searching as to why you got married in the first place. If its fear of being alone, then you need to conquer that fear and enjoy your life in a healthy way and be discriminating with regards to who you invite to share your life with. Expecting another person to bring you happiness is like searching for the Holy Grail.
Author Thesame Posted May 25, 2011 Author Posted May 25, 2011 Well it has been about a week since my now ex has divorced me. I feel myself going into depression even though my doc gave me some pills. I think I will remain single forever, since I have proved to myself that I am not a good relationship partner. Even my friends have distanced themselves from me after they told me I need to suck it up. I only saw him once after we went court, only because he "forgot" another bag of his. Surprisingly he gave me a hug before he left again and I held onto him for so long. It was a long time since he gave me a hug. I just didn't want to let go. It was like I melted into his arms. I know that sounds corny but it's the truth. I guess I'm just venting here or whatever.
drifter777 Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 Nobody can read your last post and not feel bad for you. Love can hurt and life is hard. Give yourself a week and then stop the self-pity party. You have a chance to start a new life, and this time you have some hard-earned experience and a new perspective. You can make your life great if you want to.
Author Thesame Posted May 27, 2011 Author Posted May 27, 2011 Nobody can read your last post and not feel bad for you. Love can hurt and life is hard. Give yourself a week and then stop the self-pity party. You have a chance to start a new life, and this time you have some hard-earned experience and a new perspective. You can make your life great if you want to. Thanks Drifter. I know I have the power to change my life, but it is a struggle. I wonder if what I feel is just desperation because he left me or is it because I'll really miss him or something along that line?
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