NSDNQ Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 at the end of every relationship theres an exchange of all the crap you gave eachother during the relationship. but both me and my ex have a few memories we could'nt let go of. I still have a jar candle she gave me on new years. I have the very first letter she sent me and the envelope it came in. I also have a necklace she picked up in spain. she gave it to me the night I met her and havent taken it off since she put it on me. even as the reality that shes not coming back or even if she does it wont be for a very long time slowly creeps in. I cant make myself take it off. she keeps two journals I bought her, a necklace I got her on christmas, and an antique copy of shakespears collected works I got her becuase she loves poetry. not sure if she hasnt destroyed them but I know she never gave them back. I understand thnot taking off the necklace is a bit extreme. but I was wondering... have you kept anything from you ex? why?
smudge21 Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 I think it all depends on what those things mean to you. If they remind you of the relationship and that hurts too much, then you need to get rid of them - maybe not bin them, but at least put them somewhere out of sight. However, if the relationship ended okay and you've stayed friends (or at least don't hate each other) then keeping things can be a reminder of something good. I have quite a few things from previous ex's. To me they are a pleasant reminder of what I've had in the past, the people I've shared parts of my life with. They don't bring back any hurtfull memories - maybe a few regrets, but nothing that makes me feel bad.
nana841121 Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 I feel so sorry for myself. cause i can't sync with your feeling. I guess it's not a true love for me
Desensitized Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 (edited) Some of the things my ex-fiancee gave me are: - a bracelet (which I am currently wearing right now) - a poster she made for me that has all of our inside jokes and some of the reasons she loves me. - a tiny little book she wrote for me with a lot of reasons on why I am "the one" - a small bag of polished rocks she bought for me - a beautiful poem she wrote for me talking about how she can't wait until I marry her - various letters she wrote for me - a stuffed animal toucan that she bought for me. she bought two toucans, one for me, and one for her so when I was away at college, I could fall asleep holding it pretending that it was her, and she could do the same with her toucan (don't judge me). I keep these things hidden in my basement because I can't bare to look at these things. The only thing that reminds me of her every day is the bracelet that she gave me, and this doesn't affect me. And I keep these things because she is the most important chapter in my book - she taught me so many things... Edited May 16, 2011 by Desensitized
PelicanPete Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 Well, the most important things she gave me that were symbolic of our relationship I sent back to her to show that I was gone for good. One of them was my bracelette of our set of matching ones we wore in the beginning of our relationship. TBH it looked really girly but I didn't want to hurt her feelings by not wearing it, so I wore it until it started to break. I still have a watch I use for running that she bought me for one of my birthdays. A pair of chili pepper boxers she gave me to remind me of how hot I am About 50+ hand written letters she wrote me when she was head over heels for me, haven't looked at them since we were together. And a stuffed pokemon I won for her at a claw crane. She eventually gave it to me though because I spent about $10 in change trying to get it and didn't want me to forget. She told me shes keeping everything I ever gave her before I went NC, even though she broke up with me. She took my favorite t-shirt from my bag after the breakup and never sent it back. I guess its now added to her dismantled shrine of me that once stood at her bedside. .
KrisT Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 I have a CD of his, that honestly I forgot until the other day that it was even in my player still. A teddy bear and multiple love letters. I don't know yet if I want to keep up the no contact still, but I've considered sending the letters back. Also considered saying hey I found this CD of yours, how should I get it back to you.
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