change Posted May 15, 2011 Posted May 15, 2011 I've come to realize that my wife fits the description of a Walk Away Wife exactly. Including the explanations that I've gotten for why she doesn't want to work on the marriage anymore and wants a divorce. Is it a horrifically bad idea to show her an article on Walk Away Wives? I'm not sure what motivates me to do it, because it isn't something I think will bring her back to the table -- at least, not right now. She's hell bent on dating and experiencing being single, something she's never done before, and I don't think anything I can say or do right now will stop her. But we're both very analytic people. Reading the articles on WAWs, it suggests to me that there is another route -- letting the walls down and seeing what comes of the experience. We won't be there for months. But it seems it might plant the seed of an idea that what's happening has happened in other marriages -- and that it's not irrecoverable. Am I crazy? Has anyone else done this?
cyabye Posted May 15, 2011 Posted May 15, 2011 I've come to realize that my wife fits the description of a Walk Away Wife exactly. Including the explanations that I've gotten for why she doesn't want to work on the marriage anymore and wants a divorce. Is it a horrifically bad idea to show her an article on Walk Away Wives? I'm not sure what motivates me to do it, because it isn't something I think will bring her back to the table -- at least, not right now. She's hell bent on dating and experiencing being single, something she's never done before, and I don't think anything I can say or do right now will stop her. But we're both very analytic people. Reading the articles on WAWs, it suggests to me that there is another route -- letting the walls down and seeing what comes of the experience. We won't be there for months. But it seems it might plant the seed of an idea that what's happening has happened in other marriages -- and that it's not irrecoverable. Am I crazy? Has anyone else done this? I doubt ANY article will help. You say your wife is hell bent? She will do whatever she wants right or wrong regardles who it hurts. I had to accept this. It was hard. I struggle daily. In the end I'm much better off. If she wants to go. Let her. You will be better off too. In time you will see this. cya
denise_xo Posted May 15, 2011 Posted May 15, 2011 Personally I'm completely unconvinced by the whole WAW concept. But if you think it will resonate with your stbx, then I guess there is nothing to lose!
marqueemoon4 Posted May 15, 2011 Posted May 15, 2011 It'll just make her angry and she'll deny that she is a WW. It won't do anything.. it would mean she'd have to look at herself for a change and thats not gonna happen.
hopesndreams Posted May 15, 2011 Posted May 15, 2011 Your motivation to show her the article is for her to say, "You're right. I will stop this foolishness, right now! I'm so sorry for causing you such pain, forgive me and let's get back on track." That was my motivation when I showed quite a few articles of this and that to the now X. All it did was push him away further and yes, make him angry. All WS have the "nothing wrong with me" mentality and anyone that shows them otherwise, they do not want to be near. The best bet is letting her do whatever she wants because she will anyway. How you think and feel has nothing to do with her decision, even though, from time to time she will have you believe otherwise. Don't fall for it.
cyabye Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 Your motivation to show her the article is for her to say, "You're right. I will stop this foolishness, right now! I'm so sorry for causing you such pain, forgive me and let's get back on track." That was my motivation when I showed quite a few articles of this and that to the now X. All it did was push him away further and yes, make him angry. All WS have the "nothing wrong with me" mentality and anyone that shows them otherwise, they do not want to be near. The best bet is letting her do whatever she wants because she will anyway. How you think and feel has nothing to do with her decision, even though, from time to time she will have you believe otherwise. Don't fall for it. Well said! cya
soserious1 Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 Change, with all the issues you two had in your marriage, I wouldn't call your wife a "walkaway wife". She's living for a myriad of pretty serious reasons.
johan Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 You can lead your wife to the article, but you can't make her read. On the other hand, just because it won't achieve anything doesn't mean you shouldn't do it. You don't owe her anything. Do whatever you want to do. Show her the article. Show her your online dating profile. Show her your divorce lawyer's name. Show her the door. Show her your middle finger. None of it is going to make a difference. Except it might make you feel a bit liberated.
Author change Posted May 17, 2011 Author Posted May 17, 2011 Thanks for all the feedback, everyone. In retrospect, it was what I expected, and I've made the decision not to do it, because it will make no difference anyway at this stage.
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