wistful Posted May 15, 2011 Posted May 15, 2011 (context: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t276939/) Coming out of a shop this evening and my ex was walking out of a shop directly opposite me. I actually didn't realise it was her at first, I got the impression from her body language she saw me first. Some things never change! When we were together she used to do this thing with her hair when she was nervous or uncomfortable where she'd tuck the loose strands behind her right ear - even if there were no loose strands she'd still make the motion - and then concentrate really hard on what was closest at hand. It just happened to be a shoe rack on this occasion. I kept on walking, really fighting the urge to look in her direction. It affected me more than I expected, maybe it was the shock of so unexpectedly seeing her. I haven't seen her in years. You really do go through a spectrum of emotions when stuff like that happens. At first I felt my heart almost thump through my chest, then I felt a twinge of anger and then worryingly I really wanted to go talk to her. I'm so glad I didn't because I'd probably feel terrible. I don't feel great right now, I've got a bit of a hollowness in my gut. I guess her reaction suggests she wasn't too comfortable either. She looked gorgeous (such a shallow thing to say I know), but funnily I feel like I'm a lot better looking than when we were going out - I guess I've managed to rebuild my confidence over the years!
2011 Posted May 15, 2011 Posted May 15, 2011 Good for you keep building and improving yourself. Don't worry about her and good for not talking - that is if you are still not really over it or she cheated on you or dumped you - it would only have set you back and given her an ego trip. 2011
ResetReality Posted May 15, 2011 Posted May 15, 2011 Hello mate Seems like you dealt with the situation gracefully! fantastic effort for that buddy, Of course, you dont know what to say or act in a situation like that, i recently saw my ex with her new boyfriend, and like you i got that dramatic heart pump, that shows some sign of pain but of course it does! we're only human, and all we did was love! you'll find, we never really "get over" people who we cared about, we just adapt and learn from it, there will always been the slight memory of them in our heads! so dont beat yourself up too much, just carry on with yourself, and fight the urge to make any contact, of course, unless you want to feed her ego more?! stay strong buddy!
betterdeal Posted May 15, 2011 Posted May 15, 2011 Must have been a bit of a shock to see her! You handled it gracefully and are well in touch with your feelings. Maybe this encounter can help you lay to rest any upset you have from your involvement in the past. I think sometimes we associate certain feelings with certain memories so much so that reminders of those memories invoke those feelings. As this is a learnt behaviour (associating present-day events with past feelings and vice versa) we can learn different behaviours (such as disassociating the past from the present) if we choose to. Being able to bump into an ex and think, "Oh, that's G, we dated, she looks good, nice arse. Can I smell shepherd's pie?" is more enjoyable than getting upset by it IMO.
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