ktrent Posted May 15, 2011 Posted May 15, 2011 I'm a 24 year old male and I recently posted a profile on one of the free dating sites. The profile has been up for about 2 months, when I received my first reponse. It was from a 23 year old girl in my area. What was strange was her first email. She mentioned that she wanted to get married and "have babies" (her words), the fact that her boobs are still growing and that she needs someone to "kiss on them" (again her words), the fact that she was raped when she was 14. She also mentioned that we seem to have a lot in common. I won't go into all the details of that here. So we start chatting by email through the site. It seems like its going well, when I ask her if she texts at all, and then I give her my number. She then replies and says she does not text and asks "why, do you want a bj (blowjob)"? I really thought that was inappropriate. I apologized and said that I meant nothing sexual by giving her my number to text. So the next day she gives me her phone number and email. I decide to not call her just yet, and simply continue to chat by email. Then we start instant messaging. After a while of IM'ing (a day or two), she says she really likes me and finds me very attractive (mind you she hasn't even met me yet). Each IM session is roughly 3 hours long and extends into the early morning hours. Here's where it gets REALLY strange. We begin talking about sex. She reveals that she has NO IDEA what a blowjob even is (I had to tell her), the fact that she really doesn't know what sex is and could apprently care less, and she apparently doesn't like to kiss either. She says kissing "feels strange" to her. She says when she has sex it "hurts" and she "feels sick for days afterward", so she really doesn't like sex or kissing. I googled her email address, and she has several ranting posts online discussing the same things (about sex and kissing, her rape, etc). Her posts are very long and the thoughts jump around considerably. She'll start one post about one topic, and the first sentence will be about that topic. Then every other sentence after that will be about a million other things completely different. Basically, she has the mentality of a young teenager (sexually anyway). But what's even more strange is she'll talk about very personal things about herself (about her breasts and vagina), sent me partially naked photos of herself (her breasts and genital area were not showing). While I have no problem with the photos, its just the combination of it all is too weird. This just doesn't make any sense at all. I think she's nice looking and seems to be nice, but this is all very creepy to say the least, and I'm about ready to bail. She keeps messaging me asking when are we going out and saying she wants to talk. I'm not sure I really want to meet her. What's up with this situation? Something I'm missing??
ladyinlimbo Posted May 15, 2011 Posted May 15, 2011 She's either: 1. A young girl (as in MINOR) playing games........or at least, someone a LOT younger than her stated age. Be careful - what if this is some 15 yr old girl? 2. She's mentally ill/unstable (my vote here) 3. It's some young guy having a laugh at your expense....which is why the 'excuse' about not texting; a punk isn't going to be able to give you a legit cell #, right? 4. An ex of yours who made up a bogus profile, just trying to screw with your head (remember; this 'person' contacted you first) Sounds like one hot mess, regardless of the truth. I'd block and bail and invest your time elsewhere, seriously.
nyc_guy2003 Posted May 15, 2011 Posted May 15, 2011 This sounds very much like a guy playing a prank on another guy. Like that youtube video where a guy and a "girl" are having cybersex and then the "girl" takes her shirt off to reveal it's really a guy messing with the other guy.
NoMagicBullet Posted May 15, 2011 Posted May 15, 2011 If she's real and not a guy or some scam artist, then she definitely need therapy. Lots of it. The lack of interest in sex isn't nearly as disturbing as the lack of personal boundaries and what is appropriate information to share with strangers on the internet. Stay away. And next time, when a woman sends you the first e-mail: 1) Be suspicious that it's not a scam of some kind. Many women are busy receiving e-mails when online dating, not sending them. Some women do, though, so don't disregard them all. 2) If you ever get a first e-mail that weird, DO NOT RESPOND!
Fondue Posted May 15, 2011 Posted May 15, 2011 I was convinced it was another dude trying "punk" you until you mentioned that you googled her email and found many other posts by her. She's probably a legit gal, but incredibly mental. I wouldn't be surprised if she has some psychiatric problem. I'd say RUN.
Author ktrent Posted May 15, 2011 Author Posted May 15, 2011 She's either: 1. A young girl (as in MINOR) playing games........or at least, someone a LOT younger than her stated age. Be careful - what if this is some 15 yr old girl? 2. She's mentally ill/unstable (my vote here) 3. It's some young guy having a laugh at your expense....which is why the 'excuse' about not texting; a punk isn't going to be able to give you a legit cell #, right? 4. An ex of yours who made up a bogus profile, just trying to screw with your head (remember; this 'person' contacted you first) Sounds like one hot mess, regardless of the truth. I'd block and bail and invest your time elsewhere, seriously. Yeah. I kind of figured it was either "1" a minor, or "2", mentally ill or unstable person. I didn't think that it could be another guy playing a prank, but thats a good possibility. As for number 4, I haven't really had any other dates or relationships before, so it would be impossible for it to be an ex of mine. I tried an experiment with her the other day. I tried to get her to call one of my voicemail boxes (not a phone number that I answer, just a voicemail) that I have. I wanted to see if she was who she said she was and to hear what she sounded like before I called and actually talked to her. I told her that I was trying to set it up and needed someone to "test" it for me by calling and leaving a message. I just told her a BS story that I was having problems accepting messages with that voicemail and needed her to call and leave a message so I could make sure it was working properly. She called and listened to my greeting, I received notification of that, but she didn't leave a message, even though I specifically said to. I emailed her back and she said she "forgot" to leave the message. So I asked if she wouldn't mind trying again, and she flat out said "no". This just builds to the fact that she did not want to text earlier and got all huffy when I asked her to. But she has asked me to call her, and the number she used to call my voicemail is the same as the one she gave me.
abbeylouwho Posted May 15, 2011 Posted May 15, 2011 Now I'm like way interested in how this unfolds! haha But no, seriously she sounds like a psycho and I'd run. But try and catch her first so I know what her deal is
Author ktrent Posted May 15, 2011 Author Posted May 15, 2011 (edited) I was convinced it was another dude trying "punk" you until you mentioned that you googled her email and found many other posts by her. She's probably a legit gal, but incredibly mental. I wouldn't be surprised if she has some psychiatric problem. I'd say RUN. When I googled her yahoo email address, I came across NUMEROUS ranting posts on yahoo answers as both the asker and the answerer where she described IN DETAIL her rape, past sexual encounters that she hated and said "made her sick", all in a world wide forum for everyone to see! In most of her posts she repeatedly changed the subject. She would be talking about one thing in one sentence, and then something else the next. When someone suggested that she get tested for ADD, she snapped back viciously and called them a "nazi", among other hateful comments. In our many IMs, she said that she is always hungry and her family (mother, brother) are "stealing" her food from her and letting her starve to death, or buying her food that makes her sick. She stated that they couldn't care if she lived or died. In high school, she stated that she wore disguises, including dressing like a boy, to fool "stalkers" that she claimed are constantly following her. She says that guys are always trying to forcibly have sex with her or "stick their hand down her pants" and she doesn't like any of it. In other cases, guys will pull up next to her in their car while she's stopped at a light, and rev their engines at her or make sexual or obscene comments...or she will be ouside her house and guys will whistle at her or try to grab her. It's ridiculous. Then...she talks about the fact that she smoked pot for over a year to "dull the pain". She also mentioned that she knew several meth heads and drug users and that her mother's friend was murdered and dumped in a river by her mother's boyfriend. I mean, this case could fill a 500 page novel no problem without any added drama! Most of you guys are veterans on this forum, but have any of you seen anyone post about someone as mixed up as this?? She would put Jerry Springer to shame! Edited May 15, 2011 by ktrent
ladyinlimbo Posted May 15, 2011 Posted May 15, 2011 (edited) With all due respect, and as someone who works in the health care field, she sounds like someone with paranoid schizophrenia, who's extremely delusional and should seriously not be on a computer but instead, being treated and getting medicated. Very sad. Out of respect for someone who clearly seems to be very ill (based on the many other things you've read from her), I would seriously discontinue communicating with her. For all you know, she's even much younger than 23, she could be a minor and you could be getting yourself into some potential hot water if you're an adult and carrying on conversations of a sexual nature (even if it's her bringing them up) with her. It's just not worth it. I'm all for having a bit of fun with an obvious Nigerian scammer kind of thing but I truly wouldn't carry on with someone who, seriously, is actively psychotic -- that just doesn't seem right to me. You've done nothing wrong at all but you see now that she's very messed up, very delusional, likely a lot of what she's posting about is made up (but maybe not).....there's just no future here, you're best to kindly bow out (don't just totally disappear on her; maybe just tell her that you've decided your life is too busy now for a relationship or something along those lines) and look elsewhere. Here are some classic symptoms of schizophrenia explained: (1) Disorganized Speech (e.g., frequent derailment or incoherence) - these are also called "word salads". Ongoing disjointed or rambling monologues - in which a person seems to talking to himself/herself or imagined people or voices. (2) Paranoid delusions, or delusions of persecution, for example believing that people are "out to get" you, or the thought that people are doing things when there is no external evidence that such things are taking place. http://www.schizophrenia.com/diag.php Edited May 15, 2011 by ladyinlimbo
nyc_guy2003 Posted May 15, 2011 Posted May 15, 2011 she didn't leave a message, even though I specifically said to. I emailed her back and she said she "forgot" to leave the message. So I asked if she wouldn't mind trying again, and she flat out said "no". "That's not your mother that's a man BABY!" -Austin Powers
D-Lish Posted May 15, 2011 Posted May 15, 2011 Most people probably would have deleted that first email! Someone that would disclose so much personal baggage in the first initial contact is obviously off their rocker! It's clear she's incredibly unstable. What prompted you to contact her after that first message????
threebyfate Posted May 15, 2011 Posted May 15, 2011 Cut bait, right now! She's nuttier than a commercial size jar of Jiffy crunchy peanut butter.
Author ktrent Posted May 15, 2011 Author Posted May 15, 2011 (edited) Most people probably would have deleted that first email! Someone that would disclose so much personal baggage in the first initial contact is obviously off their rocker! It's clear she's incredibly unstable. What prompted you to contact her after that first message???? It was my first response to my profile, so I responded. Two things initially went through my head: 1. She was a Nigerian scammer (I had one contact me from myspace one time and say almost the same things in the first few emails as this one did). 2. She was a little weird for mentioning all this stuff, but maybe she was nice otherwise. I found out after chatting with her awhile and doing some research that she was FAR from being a LITTLE weird - she was all the way there, and then some! Edited May 16, 2011 by ktrent
Kari Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 It was my first response to my profile, so I responded. Two things initially went through my head: 1. She was a Nigerian scammer (I had one contact me from myspace one time and say almost the same things in the first few emails as this one did). 2. She was a little weird for mentioning all this stuff, but maybe she was nice otherwise. I found out after chatting with her awhile and doing some research that she was FAR from being a LITTLE weird - she was all the way there, and then some! I would be concerned by her responses, and likely run for the hills. Are you still in contact with her or considering meeting up?
sanskrit Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 Either 1. Beavis and Butthead playing a prank 2. A cop trying to entrap you 3. A nut None of the above are dating prospects, stop wasting your time.
Author ktrent Posted May 16, 2011 Author Posted May 16, 2011 I would be concerned by her responses, and likely run for the hills. Are you still in contact with her or considering meeting up? I have stopped contact with her on Saturday night and haven't contacted her since and have no intentions of meeting up with her anymore. There is one problem though. While we were chatting, she had copied one of my profile photos and put it in her profile. She also took the photo and merged it with one of her own using one of those online photo editing/altering programs. So the merged photo looks like a cross between my photo and hers. At the time, I asked her why she did that, and she replied "for fun". What now? I really don't want to contact her again to ask her to remove the photo and start any problems. She may turn on the waterworks and say she's lonely and needs to talk yadda, yadda and I don't want any of that. She seems like the type to do that. Should I report her profile to the dating site or just leave it alone and hope she eventually removes it once she's "over" me?
Author ktrent Posted May 16, 2011 Author Posted May 16, 2011 "That's not your mother that's a man BABY!" -Austin Powers Huh?........
Kari Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 I have stopped contact with her on Saturday night and haven't contacted her since and have no intentions of meeting up with her anymore. There is one problem though. While we were chatting, she had copied one of my profile photos and put it in her profile. She also took the photo and merged it with one of her own using one of those online photo editing/altering programs. So the merged photo looks like a cross between my photo and hers. At the time, I asked her why she did that, and she replied "for fun". What now? I really don't want to contact her again to ask her to remove the photo and start any problems. She may turn on the waterworks and say she's lonely and needs to talk yadda, yadda and I don't want any of that. She seems like the type to do that. Should I report her profile to the dating site or just leave it alone and hope she eventually removes it once she's "over" me? It's off putting that she would use one of your photos on her profile. Did she think that you were heading towards being exclusive? I don't understand why she would take those actions. I think it was a good idea to end contact at this point. You can ask her nicely to take it down, or if you don't want to reopen contact you can message the website about it. I would not feel comfortable with this situation, I do hope that things clear up for you soon.
Recommended Posts