vlg560 Posted May 15, 2011 Posted May 15, 2011 Hey everyone! So here's my story: Four months ago my ex-GF dumped me for another guy after a 26-month relationship. I'm 33 and she's 28. I got to know her through a mutual friend and we started talking, got close and a month later were steadily dating. Everything went great during the 2 years we were together. We rarely argued, shared the same likes and dislikes, she'd hangout with me and my friends and vice-versa, and we got along well with each others families. We'd see each other almost everyday because she lives only about a mile from where I live. The thing though is, every year due to work, I'd travel out of the country for about 4 months thus forcing us to have a LDR for a few months. I didn't have any problem with it, and she seemed totally ok with it too since it was only 4 months at a time. We'd communicate everyday through text and Skype. I am a very laid-back type of person and love to do relaxing stuff like watching movies, eating out, going to coffee shops and the like, and my ex-GF seemed to have no problem with these activities. She always said that it didn't matter what type of stuff we did, as long as we were together. I always thought it was the perfect relationship and hoped it would never end. During our 2nd year, and after I got back from my last trip abroad I noticed that she seemed a little bit more distant than usual. She would call me less often than usual, and wanted to spend more time at home. I noticed these things but just didn't bother asking her about it since I thought that it was just a phase of the relationship that we were getting more comfortable and used to each other that we didn't have to spend as much time or text and call each other that often. One big thing that caught my attention though was that our intimacy level dropped a LOT, up to a point that it was almost ZERO. I still gave it a little more time and a few weeks later she had to go on a business trip, and there and then it became very obvious that the communication wasn't there anymore. She would only send me a short text message in the morning and that was that. In my mind I decided to wait for her to get back from the business trip and talk to her. And once I confronted her asking what the problem was, she said she still loved me but she admitted that she got tired of the relationship and that she was seeing another guy for the past 2 months. Funny thing is that she is also in a LDR with this new guy. He lives about a 6 hour drive away, is the total opposite of my personality and doesn't seem like a person she would ever hang out with or have a relationship. We broke up mutually that day, but still kept communicating for a week and she ended it saying she couldn't talk to me anymore because of her new relationship. I started NC right away, and it's been 4 months and counting that I have had absolutely no contact with her. If it's worth mentioning, her sister and I are good friends, and we do keep in touch once in a while. She says she doesn't like her sister's new BF at all and her dumping me for that guy actually put a strain on their relationship as sisters. She basically gave me no specific reasons for the breakup, and just that she got tired of "us". Is it a case of G.I.G.S or not? I still love her and think about her every single day, but I know that it gets easier as time goes by, and I know soon enough that I will be ready to date again. I have not broken the NC rule, and never will. If she ever contacts me first, I will surely evaluate the situation and think things over before I make an attempt at responding. Guys, I really need your opinions on this. Thank God for this great site and all you helpful people! vlg_560
2011 Posted May 15, 2011 Posted May 15, 2011 (edited) Could very well be a case of GIGS however she had already checked out of the RL 2 months before ending it so it may be a bit more than that. GIGS is usually sudden - GF/BF meets someone else within a few weeks then gets GIGS and runs off quickly dumping the other person for the newbie - then comes crawling back. Maybe she just wanted to try another RL - yes it hurts but that is cold light reality - you've not done anything wrong. You've done 4 months NC good stuff - keep it up - i'm on about the same and I know without shadow of a doubt I will never hear a peep from my ex again and to be honest you should develop that frame of mind too and get on with your life. I know you want to hear she may be on the cusp of calling you back but prepare yourself for the very real prospect of that not happening and move on. Sorry if I sound a bit harsh but I have learned these things from my brake up and holding on to hope too long is a waste of time and your life. Best of luck 2011 Edited May 15, 2011 by 2011
Author vlg560 Posted May 16, 2011 Author Posted May 16, 2011 You are right, I shouldn't put my life on hold waiting for her to call or contact me. I would have never gotten any answers to my questions about this situation if I hadn't come upon LS and read about GIGS and stuff. It has helped me a lot and moving on has been a lot easier especially with the NC rule. However I do admit that if she ever contacted me at some point, I'd probably respond but not to get back into a relaionship with her initially, but just to talk things over. So with that being said, is it only partly GIGS and partly normal breakup?
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