Anna86 Posted May 15, 2011 Posted May 15, 2011 For the past few weeks I have been NC with ex.. Since I have been NC I have really got over him a lot. I still think about him a lot and I dream of him but I’m over the pain. It’s more like a lingering that won’t quite leave. I am doing EVERYTHING in my power to move on faster. I am with friends all the time, working hard, meeting new guys! But still, at the back of my mind he is there haunting me. I wonder about him. Whenever I see my friends in cute couples I am happy for them, but it makes me feel sad. I miss having him there, someone to love me, someone I can love back and cuddle. I miss affection and security. These things are hard to find from within. I am living a dream life now. I have money, friends, freedom, great social life but I feel empty inside. I can’t understand this emotion. Is this normal? We are broken up 4 months now but we continued contact and intimacy up until 5 or 6 weeks ago (bad decision). Do you think this is why I am still not over him? I am so jealous that he can just get over me like that. It hurts. I can’t even think about good times as they were with a person that doesn’t exist now and he hurt me SO badly. Worse than I could ever imagine. I hope one day I can appreciate our times together. But he betrayed me and us. I know I am rambling on here but I am sooo tempted to talk to him. I don’t want him back. But I miss him. I want to hear his voice. I want him to miss me. I am writing here instead of contacting him....I know that is for the best. I am so grateful for this site! Does anyone else feel this way too?
Author Anna86 Posted May 15, 2011 Author Posted May 15, 2011 Also, I may add that he broke up with me but we remained friends. We then became friends with extra benefits. I broke that part off with him and then I also ended our friendship so I know that I left with some dignity. I could have continued to be taken advantage of him and remained friends with him but I got out of it fast. I am sure in time he would have stopped but I got there before it got too complicated. He broke up with me so he doesn't deserve me and I know that. This is why it is soooo important I don't contact him. I need to preserve my dignity and show him I can live without him. Its hard but I am almost there. I just have down days. I am sure this is normal?
Flgirl44 Posted May 15, 2011 Posted May 15, 2011 (edited) Down days are normal. Soon it will just be down hours, or minutes, then days pass without being tainted by bad thoughts. Hang in there Edit: And yes maintain your dignity. The one main regret I have, other than going back in the first place, was not maintaining dignity. I stooped really low and since I do have a moral compass became really disillusioned with my sense of self. Edited May 15, 2011 by Flgirl44
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