guyWalters Posted May 15, 2011 Posted May 15, 2011 Hey, I am extremely allergic to jerks. By jerks I mean: sadistsput down artistsenvious, miserable peoplepeople who lash out because of their own low self esteem I realize that these are my buttons. I am overly sensitive to even the slightest insult or crack. However, I meet a lot of envious put-down artists. I am extremely good looking and I am very highly educated, charming and creative. I am involved in internet dating and there are a lot of dented cans out there (I might even consider myself one of them). The worst part about being this sensitive is that it is hard for me to tell which people are bad and which people I am accidentally reading as button-pushers. This comes out when I write introductory letters to girls. I will sabotage letters, which, consciously, I am writing in all earnesty. For instance, I just wrote a letter to a girl I really, really wanted to meet and (completely unconsciously!) added a "ps" that was essentially a vague, offhand put down (so here I am being the put down artist!?). I then reread her profile and saw that she actually identifies herself as an "*********", literally. Also, she says in her profile that she wouldn't want to marry "you"/"me"/the reader (Why say that to someone you have just met?). Now, if my sensors were correct, then I could tell she was a bad egg and I sabotaged myself subconsciously, or showed my teeth in an act of self protection and perhaps its for the best. If she's just goofing around, then my allergies just screwed me over again. I don't know that there is any question here. I suppose one question might be: how do I stop sabotaging myself, while also protecting myself from jerks?
Author guyWalters Posted May 15, 2011 Author Posted May 15, 2011 This forum automatically censored the word "a##hole", and literally, the girl refers to herself as an "a##hole"!? This word, and her use of it is very important to the posting.
ladyinlimbo Posted May 15, 2011 Posted May 15, 2011 (edited) However, I meet a lot of envious put-down artists. I am extremely good looking and I am very highly educated, charming and creative.You forgot humble. So she describes herself in a dating profile (one's public format for creating a first impression) as "an *********" and you still wrote to her? Did you find that description of herself to be charming? amusing? provocative? I would think that most men would find it extremely crass and off-putting and pretty much a red-flag but I guess your mileage may vary. Anyway, if you're admittedly "allergic to jerks", why would you seek out someone who pretty much has a huge neon sign that they are one / not relationship material? Believe what people write about themselves in terms of descriptors, when it's negative. If they describe themselves as a "bltch", they really are. If they describe themselves as afraid of commitment, they are. If they described themselves as prone to jealousy and needing to be the center of everyone's attention, they are. So again, what's the attraction to a woman who is crass enough to describe herself as a butt hole? Edited May 15, 2011 by ladyinlimbo
LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted May 15, 2011 Posted May 15, 2011 Erm, you sound very narcissistic. Perhaps that's why people put you down? I realize I am a put down artist now. I apologize for insulting someone who indirectly insulted me by saying I would insult them, because they're oh so perfect.
Art_Critic Posted May 15, 2011 Posted May 15, 2011 Can I ask why you wrote her ? Did you just see her picture and write her only to read her profile after you emailed her ? You want to know how to not find these women but it seems the answer is just in your ability to not hit reply.
Author guyWalters Posted May 15, 2011 Author Posted May 15, 2011 This is what I am talking about. I merely have to demonstrate that I _might_ have positive qualities and the put down artists come out. In real life, put down artists are more tactful because they don't have the luxury of anonymity.
Author guyWalters Posted May 15, 2011 Author Posted May 15, 2011 To those who actually put some thought into it: Your point is well taken, and another person has pointed out the same thing. Its possible that I might actually be attracted to this kind of person. Just imagine a woman so beautiful and smart you can't believe it. Plus they are saying they are available....I don't know. Your points are well taken, one can't expect to have safety while at the same time taking risks to get a date with a hot woman.
ladyinlimbo Posted May 15, 2011 Posted May 15, 2011 There's a colossal difference between a 'put down' and an unavoidable observation of fact. You complain that you're "allergic to jerks" yet you initiate contact with a "hot girl" who describes herself as an "a$sh0le." She's admitting she's a jerk. But oh, because she's so "hot" and "available" I guess that doesn't matter. Sorry but you do come across as very narcissistic. Arrogant, thinking you're above others, you believe people are envious of you, etc etc. Whatever your flops your mop.
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