Update...trying to stay strong

[HalfAlive22]

Just though I'd update on my situation, today is a hard day for some reason, maybe because it's sunday and it's raining. The wine festival that H and I usually go to is today, we have so much fun together there, this is the first one we won't be at. He asked me to go with him today, but I'm trying to keep my distance..he is still giving me space like he said he would, he said he'd wait forever if he had too..I'm trying to sort it all out, he's doing everything he is supose to to change his ways, and I def see a change in general in him, he's more settled now, more about the kids, and not about being a rockstar and drinking and reliving the youth he didn't have, still I have to be sure, I so miss being with him..and every time we are in the same room you can feel the tension of just wanting to be together, and the passion that is still there I fantasize about having sex with him all the time, and I'm trying to stay strong, I want to make sure it's right, I've given myself a window of time to decide, because iI can't drag it out forever...part of me does'nt want this phase to end either..the looks we give eachother the little smiles, I know that sounds crazy but I guess i'm savoring "our" little affair now, and trying to figure out it it's just that or if it's a lot deeper..al i know is I love him still, and i'm trying to figure out if it's worth the risk...tx for listening